The common theme with many of the threads (with a few exceptions yes!) is one of:


Guy dreams of HT
Wife rolls eyes
Guy begins HT project
Wife rolls eyes
Guy repeatedly dodges hammer of justice as project costs mount


What I would like to know from the veterans...how did your wives react to the finished project? What was that first movie like with them? Did they take it all back? ;)

In my case the key was to show her some pics of well done theaters and tell her this is what I wanted to do. Any time she balked I pulled out my reference pictures to remind her.

And now that it is more or less finished (Aside from the remaining Logan factors!) does she enjoy watching a movie there?

Did they take it all back? ;)

Yes, yes she did. :D

Although once we were past drywall and she started seeing how it was turning out, she became fully supportive. Luckily, she was never really against it-- I had showed her how an old projector looked on a sheet of dropcloth stapled on a wall of my unfinished basement office and started framing the media room with some "leftover" 2x4s. I had the room 3/4 framed before she knew I had even started it.

And she often asks, "what are we watching tonight?" and, "can we turn the buttkickers on?"

And she often asks, "what are we watching tonight?" and, "can we turn the buttkickers on?"

That is awesome...if I can get my wife to that point, I will be impressed...

Right now I get the impression (strongly suggested by the rolling eyes and feigned interest) that im being indulged...

This will be a great thread. I believe that if the room has style and is not a man cave with beer cans wives are generally supportive.

So show pics of what you plan, and that you can have guests over to entertain.

So show pics of what you plan, and that you can have guests over to entertain.
Bingo-- my wife's favorite aspect of our media room is having guests down for an after-dinner drink at the bar.

The last get-together we did, we watched The Blues Brothers and Animal House after dinner (both were guest picks). Afterwards, one of my wife's sisters asked me (discretely) a ballpark figure on what we spent. When I told her that my total cost of equipment was less than what I spent on a 51" tv five years ago, she told her husband that his next project was converting their bonus room into a media room.


rolling eyes and feigned interestYeah, she'll still do that when I talk about somethings that I still want to do in the room, like when I was explaining what tactile transducers were. And she looked at me like I was crazy when I started taking the sectional apart, but she loves the results, and I now catch her explaining to her friends/family what tactile transducers do.

I'm not sure that the wife ever really approved of the $25,000 budgeted room (which came in a little under, but I haven't taken the blu ray plunge yet). We finished it all in mid-February. We have had a couple families over since then and she still didn't seem all that sold, even when we watched movies together. But then, her friend who had brought her kids over to watch something with our kids called and pretty much invited herself over to watch Enchanted (withouth the kids). Suddenly, the theater seems to be less evil than before. I think it will grow on her more and more.

For me, I am using the "I don't have a wife" technique. I will get married after I finish the home theater. :)

:)My wife hemmed and hawwed, put in her 2 cents.... told me I was going overboard, etc.
Now she has her girlfriends over more for chick flicks, than I get the guys over for Action movies. ( I'm going to have to destroy "Super Star" )Her favorite movie.On the brite side, her friends envy her for her husbands creative carpentry

She said: "Oh god its finally done." The first time. Second time the same. Now on the minor remodel (almost done) she just said: "Im thinking of what I could have done with the money" lol!


NJ

(We have 2 large plasma's in the house already so the HT thing is no real biggie to her.)

Our HT was/is part of the basement remodel - wife fully supportive. Had a projector in family room of prior house, so she appreciates it. Dedicated room will be even better.

Let's see if I can remember...


Initially - "Whatever house we get, it has to have room for another theater for Family Movie Nights"
Month Four - "The family sure misses theater nights like in the old place...when are you going to start? The kitchen can wait." - Budget Approval officially made by Ministry of Household Finance
Month Five - "You figure It will be done in three months? Why so complicated? The last one was fine the way it was, just do that!"
Month Five plus 2 Hours - Presentation to the Commission Appointed to Investigate Theater Expenses - Commission grants approval, stating "In for a penny, in for a pound. May as well do it right the first time". Receive grant increase.
Month Twelve - "Okay, you're right - the stage thingy is pretty cool! Are you close to being finished? It looks pretty much done..."
Month Sixteen - "You appear close to being done. Now can I invite my coworkers over for an official opening/movie night?" . Tickets printed and distributed. Ministry provides off-record comment that it is impressed with the project (but will deny it publicly :))
Month Seventeen - Various tours for friends/family, conducted by WAF.....including explaining tactile transducers and remote control lighting macros. Fondly known as 'The Month of Chick Flicks Played at Reference Levels'
Month Eighteen - Application to create a Casino on the other side of the basement wall - Denied.
Month Nineteen - Theater still almost done.....only minor doo-dads remaining. Ministry of Household Finance has commissioned other extensive residential reno projects for the HT Build Crew, so HT progress is on backburner .......Theater however remains focal point of house tours conducted by WAF, and is significant part of family time spent together :).

Now Mind you, this is after she became an HT WAF Veteran back in 2001......The first 'theater' (Under 2K Budget) was met with "I don't get it". That was quickly dispelled a week later with a borrowed PJ demo on bare drywall (no sound) using Finding Nemo - changed to "Now I see! How much is one? Do they have any left? Can we afford it?"

I think HT 3.0 will prove to be very interesting indeed! ;)

Cheers,

It took me about ten years to get a new TV so I have no idea how long it will take to get her to let me build a theater.:(

It should be marriage not a life sentence.

It should be marriage not a life sentence.

Well I did get plenty of other things that I wanted so I can't complain that much. ;)

@NJ


(We have 2 large plasma's in the house already so the HT thing is no real biggie to her.)

I think thats what she doesn't get about it...we have a 50" in our living room and a 42" in our bedroom and at first it was "What do we need another one for?" And "Why would we need speakers...the tv is just fine isn't it?"

Since its my basement...she will see the light...

@YW84U

Presentation to the Commission Appointed to Investigate Theater Expenses - Commission grants approval, stating "In for a penny, in for a pound. May as well do it right the first time". Receive grant increase.

Hehe...I don't officially have a budget...but the ministry has already got a string of capital projects in our new house that have "focus" over said expenditures in the "place below"...So not really a "no limit budget"...more a "Let's get these other things first" budget... ;)

This thread has some major potential!

This thread has some major potential!I built my theater in the family room. I bet you guys would love to learn how I pulled that off. More to come tonight.......

Having just finished our theatre with only a few remaining touches left, my experience is pretty fresh in my mind. At first, yes, my wife thought I had lost my mind. She thought I was buying crack off AVS or something -- all she knew was that I needed my fix.

Then I played the salesman and managed to get her to agree that it might worth giving the theatre a shot. She's pretty open to my suggestions if she can see I'm genuinely excited about them.

Finally, I got the go ahead, and built out the room. She saw it coming together and was actually the one that encouraged me to paint the screen wall black and to bring a darker color into the rest of the room.

As soon as she saw and heard the THX symbol and sound at the start of our first movie in the room, she knew her tolerance (and encouragement) of my insanity was worth it. Now, she loves the room as much as I do.

A couple days ago, she said "you should post the theatre on AVS so you can give someone else inspiration". I'd say she's converted, and she no longer fears that I have a drug problem.

+1 For the demonstration technique. I borrowed a projector from work and the family and I watched I, Robot on a temp 82" diag. screen and all were hooked. She was double hooked once I showed her that the TV can also be "piped" into the prijector. For my wife seeing is everything and verbal explanations don't usually get her too excited, for her seeing is definitely believing.

We are still in the "household finance approval negotiations" stage regarding the actual budget of equipment however she is very receptive to the whole basement remodel and the dedicated HT.

The other WAF comes into play in the next couple of years we will have two teenagers. Having something with the "cool factor" that a HT does and having your kids at home with their friends vs. out running around Lord knows where is one of the biggest WAF there is.

Regards,

RTROSE

Angela watches only about one movie a month in the theater but she shows the room off to everyone in our home for the first time.

The theater has been the focal point for entertaining guests here for nine years.

Art

Ours was part of a total basement build project as well. We budgeted for all the things we collectively wanted:

- Theater/media area
- Gaming area
- Bar
- Gym/Dance Studio
- Bathroom with shower
- Storage
- Project room


One of the factors that sold us on the house was the layout of the basement... it was excellent for what I wanted to do for the theater. So we were both looking forward to the day we could start in on finishing the basement.

Although she didn't really understand exactly what the end result was going to look like, or why some of the things were really needed (isolated ceiling joists? Sound absorption on the walls?) she trusted me with it.

I got her buy in and help with lots of detail: colors, carpet, wall fabric, room layout, furniture selection, accommodated her desire for a fireplace in the room, etc...

I also went all out for her dance room: floating laminated floor surface, 20 linear feet of floor to ceiling mirrors on two walls, special underlayment for shock absorption on the dance floor, dance barre, in-ceiling speakers thruout the room, built in cabinet for A/V and workout gear storage, rubber flooring in equipment area, A/V hookup for the TV built in to the treadmill, etc...

We both feel like we got something quite special out of the effort... I also use the gym regularly, and we all use the theater.

She's said a number of times while watching a movie or entertaining guests at the bar: I love this room.

Verdict: WAF=High.

my wife was a driving force with our HT. when i was on the fence about equipment, meaning wanting to spend more cash on it, she would chime in with; "If you are going to do it, then do it right." :)

we are movie freaks, but having a child put that on hold for two years. we love the movie experience of OUR own HT. we have seen some 30 movies in the short time it has been finished.

later.

My wife wanted a playroom, I wanted a theater. It helps if there are carrots for both. Her needs came first, we finished the playroom much sooner than the theater, which we didn't finish until after my company decided it wanted me to move to PA.

We have watched several movies in the interim. She likes it, I love it. We will build another, but we will have to put the family first and settle into the new house first. She helped a lot in the room, I couldn't have done it without her. Pretty lucky on the whole.

My girlfriend knew I wanted to build an HT when she moved in with me to my new house, so she wasn't surprised when I started it the week after we unpacked. I think she thought I was being silly, but we weren't spending that much money in the grand scheme of things. Now that it's been done for a while she likes it, she doesn't use it that much, but she does like it, and mentions/shows it to everybody that comes over. She even started calling it 'the HT' yesterday, which I think is funny.

What she doesn't understand is that it's never really finished, and that I constantly have to be tinkering, adding, changing whatever, even in the 10 months I've had it 'done' I've taken it 'off-line' to replace or repair something every couple weeks.

I can never convey my vision of any of my projects to my wife. I have to drag her kicking and screaming until I can get it far enough along so she can actually see it. Then she gets excited and involved.

I think she generally knows I am a cheapskate so, she is generally assured I cut costs to the bare minimum for my desired results.

Funny thing though as much as she liked it the past few months? We recently got our concession area going, she seems to have gotten a boost of excitment and enjoyment out of that addition, I dare say as much or more than the theater being up and running.

As soon as we moved in to the house I mentioned that I wanted to make the area into a home theater. That is when the first eye roll happened. The project is a constant work in progress with eye rolls the whole way. I don't know how many times I have heard "Do you really need that?" Unfortunaty my wife does not know or care about images or sound which make my job tougher to talk her into things. The biggest eye roll was when I put in remote dimmers on the lighting.

My work around is our "funny money" we each have money that the other one can not comment or complain about where it goes. She buys cloths, I buy electronics or tools.

I can say that she has beat my down to the system to watch one of her movies. LOL

Then you have the wives like me that ones where the Dedicated theater was their idea and project and had to convince hubby it was a good idea. I designed the whole thing, made the equipment choices, did the research etc. It was also me that kept pushing the budget up, and up and up, and still pushing even now.
and since I don't work and don't make a dime I appreciate it even more.

Don't get me wrong he is into AV and loves movies, so this theater was suppose to be our joint 38th anniversary present to ourselves, we are not coming up on the 40th [I was only 16 when I got married!] and it is still not 100 % complete

He was the one that had to do ALL the building. He also got a job in the industry, shortly after we started the build.
I think the fact he was building a Theater helped in getting the job.
[Though now the job is the reason I have to leave my just about complete theater behind till someday and move to Northridge CA]
Ah such is life!

I made the mistake of starting the project with out consulting the wife first. This created a bit of hostility initially. However, It has lessened now that I have committed to building an office, reframing the laundry room, and remodeling the bathroom in the basement. The price I have to pay. :)

I have been given permission (really a deadline) to work all day saturday and Sunday in order to wrap up framing on the office/laundry room. These areas are direcly below where the kids sleep, so work can not take place there at night. Which has made for slow progress and questions as to why this is taking so long. I just started a month ago!

We both know that she'll like it when its done. :)

Then you have the wives like me that ones where the Dedicated theater was their idea and project and had to convince hubby it was a good idea.

@McCall

You were actually who I had in mind when I said (with exceptions) lol. Unfortunately it would seem the reverse situation is in the majority hehe.

Personally, I think its funny the way it usually plays out like a game of chess. The standard eye rolls, budget and design constraints...all for the goal of the holy grail..the finished product :)

@McCall

You were actually who I had in mind when I said (with exceptions) lol. Unfortunately it would seem the reverse situation is in the majority hehe.

Personally, I think its funny the way it usually plays out like a game of chess. The standard eye rolls, budget and design constraints...all for the goal of the holy grail..the finished product :)

You know in those 40 years I don't think I have ever done the eye roll over anything he wanted to buy. But then I tend to get excited over the stuff he is interested in, and I always wanted him to be happy because he works SO hard.
I think my position as a woman that has for all intents and purposes, never worked. [ My SS statement says I have made about $7000 in my entire life.] puts me in a very different position from most of the wives of those guys on here, I am sure that MOST of them work, so they rightly feel they have more right to decisions on money.

I have been very lucky in that my husband allows me to get things I want, Did you know I own 39 sewing machines?

I do think it is a REAL shame that more women are not interested in the things their husbands are and vice versa, I think if most women took some interest in AV for instance that they could begin to appreciate at least the sound and picture quality differences if not the jargon, and some, like me would also delve into that as well.

I also think the "Man Cave" idea is a big part of the problem. I personally hear that as a very offensive term [to men actually] when I hear it on TV or whereever and it tends to reinforce many women's ideas and one you see a lot in advertising that men are idiots, or children or just plain dumb.
Not an oppinion I hold, "in most cases" LOL.

If a women feels shut out then she will resent whatever the project is.

We agreed when we bought our current house that the basement would be my area to do as I please. I designed it and built it the way I wanted. It is basically 4 rooms, dedicated HT (14 x 18) that can open into the wet bar/game area (12 x 14) via 2 french doors, video gaming/secondary HT area (10 x 12)(for the kids when an adult movie is being shown in the HT), pool table and music area (14 x 20) (piano, guitars, microphones, small amps and a Crate 4 x 12 stack), large bathroom with shower (8 x 14) and a 500 sq.ft. storage area.

The kids and I use it more than she does. We have parties regularly and she enjoys the pure entertainment value of the area (as opposed to the sitting around talking, watching TV or sleeping areas on the first floor):D. We watch about 3 movies a week in the HT, sometimes more if I'm off work and hanging around at home. The kids use the video game area almost daily. My biggest problem is I'm always upgrading everything so I constantly have to restructure areas to fit the upgrades:). It's just one of those things, never happy with what ya got always looking for something better, also known as upgrade-itis. Glad I don't feel that way about my wife or kids!:D

The next house I build will have a large HT that can accomodate at least 20 people. Currently I can squeeze 8 in with the doors closed but I built it with the intention of it being able to be used as a 4th bedroom (relative apartment area) if and when we decided to sell the house.

....I do think it is a REAL shame that more women are not interested in the things their husbands are and vice versa, I think if most women took some interest in AV for instance that they could begin to appreciate at least the sound and picture quality differences if not the jargon, and some, like me would also delve into that as well.

I also think the "Man Cave" idea is a big part of the problem. I personally hear that as a very offensive term when I hear it on TV or whereever and it tends to reinforce many women's ideas and one you see a lot in advertising that men are idiots, or children or just plain dumb.
Not an oppinion I hold, "in most cases" LOL.

If a women feels shut out then she will resent whatever the project is.

I agree with you McCall. I try to include my wife in all of my build decisions and try to explain why certain things have to be the way they have to be in the HT such as a black or very dark ceiling (not very high on the WAF). But including her and informing her has helped tremendously.

She does not find the term "man cave" offensive at all though and this is the term she uses to describe it to our friends when she tells them what we are doing. Maybe I'm lucky in this regard.

OTOH she doesn't have 39 sewing machines!:D

Regards,

RTROSE

39 Sewing machines! Hehe amazing but understandable.

My wife and I have many interests in common...we have been together for 16 years now and she usually just takes a little while to come around. I remember hiding my hobbies when we first got together. I was one of the fantasy/SF geeks (fantasy games, table top war games etc). Over the years she went from being what I call a closet geek to openly enjoying fantasy (novels, movies, video games etc)...

However, it took me years to convince my wife to read Lord of the Rings/Dragonlance...when she did though she loved them...years to touch a video game...when she did she loved them.

We both love all the same movies but the convincing is now that a larger picture and better sound are worth it...no issues with me doing it...just no excitement on her part.

I know however that when we do our first screening she will love it.

More or less why I was curious as many guys tell the same tale...there is a lot riding on that first screening hehe.

My wife now refers to the HT as her favorite room in the house.

All but 3 of the 39 machines are antiques or at least collectible. Hubby introduced me to LOTR about a year after we met, and it has been a joint favorite ever since. Have all the books including most of the lore and history written by Tolkein's son and some of the other reference books,
Our first movie was POTC Black Pearl since Pirates was the real reason I decided to build my theater, I went to see it in the movie theater 39 times while it was still out, then was devastated that I would not be able to see it Large size after that, so while I had been toying with the idea of a dedicated theater for years, that was the catalyst for me.
So all you guys should at least pick your wife's favorite movie hopefully it is a 2.35, if you have gone that route , but her favorite anyway as your First movie.

Agreed...it will be a day long marathon of LOTR 2.35 :)

My wife just wants our basement finished. After living in the house for 4 years I tried to explain what my idea was only to get the "Ya sure whatever" reply. Only working on the project during the winter months for 2 years caused for some very slow progress. Everytime I mentioned another step in the plan or another idea the response was the same, "Just finish the #$%^ basement already". Now that the only thing I have left is to trim it out and install the bar cabinets she is completely on board and interested in what's going on. The key to getting them interested is to show good results. Once my wife started to see the project take shape it was clear to her that this is not just another one of my half @ssed projects that would never get finished. I can already hear her explaining how hard WE worked on it and how much fun it was for US to get it completed.

Once my wife started to see the project take shape it was clear to her that this is not just another one of my half @ssed projects that would never get finished

Lol...I have a master's degree in that.

The common theme with many of the threads (with a few exceptions yes!) is one of:


Guy dreams of HT
Wife rolls eyes
Guy begins HT project
Wife rolls eyes
Guy repeatedly dodges hammer of justice as project costs mount


What I would like to know from the veterans...how did your wives react to the finished project? What was that first movie like with them? Did they take it all back? ;)

The picture below gives you an idea of the WAF throughout my project. The WAF here is a number between 0 and 1 with 0 being "I am going to kill you now" and 1 being "I love it".

http://home.comcast.net/~vkkennedy/WAF-Timeline.jpg

As you can see the WAF steadily increased as completion neared, but there were times I could see she was thinking of where she could hide the body where no one would find it. She loves it now and thinks it was well worth the time/expense/problems.

On another note - if you have hear your wife say "You were right", "I was wrong", "I take it back", or something along those lines make sure you have it recorded, note the time and date and notify "Ripley's believe it or not..."

Lol...

Baby Arrives - No Nursery WAF rating .1

Something tells me she made a trip to HD that weekend for a shovel...

However, your survival instincts kicked in and you wisely made a choice (predetermined or at knifepoint hehe) to finish the nursery...

Lol...

Baby Arrives - No Nursery WAF rating .1

Something tells me she made a trip to HD that weekend for a shovel...

However, your survival instincts kicked in and you wisely made a choice (predetermined or at knifepoint hehe) to finish the nursery...

The problem was that the Nursery was moving into the office and the office was moving to the basement with the whole basement/HT project. So I had to wait until there was carpet in the basement to move the office to then create the nursery. The carpet install was waiting on some fairly large projects in the HT to be completed. Thank god the time there wasn't much longer than the amount of time she wanted the new infant in our room with us. I was sleeping with one eye open! The added motivation came with the fact I like to watch TV in bed while I fall asleep. She was having none of that with the infant in the room with us and I was smart enough to not press that issue...

Once my wife started to see the project take shape it was clear to her that this is not just another one of my half @ssed projects that would never get finished.

Lol...I have a master's degree in that.
:)Funny thing is my wife is the one that has all the half @ssed projects that never get finished quite right and I always have to come and rescue them from half @ssedness.:D

Interesting, reading all this, the wifes attitudes and all.
I have never had to deal with a disaproving spouse. No rolled eyes over all of the hotrods, motorcycles or airplanes.
Setting up the theater, no problems, no compalints, no arguments over the money.
My wife has never been anything but supportive. With all these toys, I have always wanted her to be a part of it and enjoy them with me. I really treasure the time we have spent with these persuits more so than the toys.
My 35th anniversary is coming up and all I can say is I am the luckiest guy on earth!!!:D

This made me laugh so hard that I actually shot soda out of my nose! This is scary close to my situation.


Let's see if I can remember...


Initially - "Whatever house we get, it has to have room for another theater for Family Movie Nights"
Month Four - "The family sure misses theater nights like in the old place...when are you going to start? The kitchen can wait." - Budget Approval officially made by Ministry of Household Finance
Month Five - "You figure It will be done in three months? Why so complicated? The last one was fine the way it was, just do that!"
Month Five plus 2 Hours - Presentation to the Commission Appointed to Investigate Theater Expenses - Commission grants approval, stating "In for a penny, in for a pound. May as well do it right the first time". Receive grant increase.
Month Twelve - "Okay, you're right - the stage thingy is pretty cool! Are you close to being finished? It looks pretty much done..."
Month Sixteen - "You appear close to being done. Now can I invite my coworkers over for an official opening/movie night?" . Tickets printed and distributed. Ministry provides off-record comment that it is impressed with the project (but will deny it publicly :))
Month Seventeen - Various tours for friends/family, conducted by WAF.....including explaining tactile transducers and remote control lighting macros. Fondly known as 'The Month of Chick Flicks Played at Reference Levels'
Month Eighteen - Application to create a Casino on the other side of the basement wall - Denied.
Month Nineteen - Theater still almost done.....only minor doo-dads remaining. Ministry of Household Finance has commissioned other extensive residential reno projects for the HT Build Crew, so HT progress is on backburner .......Theater however remains focal point of house tours conducted by WAF, and is significant part of family time spent together :).

Now Mind you, this is after she became an HT WAF Veteran back in 2001......The first 'theater' (Under 2K Budget) was met with "I don't get it". That was quickly dispelled a week later with a borrowed PJ demo on bare drywall (no sound) using Finding Nemo - changed to "Now I see! How much is one? Do they have any left? Can we afford it?"

I think HT 3.0 will prove to be very interesting indeed! ;)

Cheers,

Waf?

Wife Approval/Acceptability Factor :)

I would like to echo aham23, My wife is like if your going to spend $800 on a remote whats another $200, Shes great about the whole thing.

It started with a 20x30 addition on the side of our house, I told her what I wanted to do in the basement with the theater and she was all for it as long as she gets a walk-in closet in the master bedroom, she sure did, her closet could be a small theater.

When we were looking to build a house 4 years ago, it was my wife who first said "lets make sure it has a space for a theater".

I designed and built it with really no input from her, but kept her informed along the way. She loves it and uses it as much as me. She's also the one that kept pressing me to buy a new HDTV for the living room throughout all of last year.

She talks about our HT to people (friends, relatives, acquaintances) much more than I do. If fact, tonight a couple of people from her work are coming over to watch a movie, strictly because she's talked about it so much.

Even with that said, however, I've never really understood WAF. I've never needed acceptance from my wife about anything (and she doesn't need mine). She trusts me and respects me enough to know that decisions I make are for the benefit of the family and allows me to do whatever I want. I give her the same respect. We discuss things and communicate a lot, but I just can't fathom my wife not agreeing to something I wanted to do.

My wife never seemed to care, although she has been pretty annoyed over the last year at the number of boxes that get delivered to our house and then sit for a time in our living room, and even more annoyed the amount of time I spend on this forum.

But we are almost done. Carpet went in last week. And she no longer expresses annoyance, which I interpret as acceptance.

The odd thing is that I do not even watch movies very often. 85% sports. But she watches movies, so I think she will be pretty excited given that I permanently moved my 1080p flat panel to the family room during the HT build and she has enjoyed that. The HT was pretty much something I put in for her and the kids, so she better like it, especially considering how much cash I have dropped on it.