View Full Version : For the icecow . . .
WarrenJ
09-25-06, 06:10 PM
WARNING: Not for the children . . . .
VIDEO: http://www.pimpworks.org/misc/madcow.swf
Regards,
Warren :D
[video]Aint that the truth
Darn, I wish I had discovered that first. The first thing I would have done is PMed it to baysidebas (my alledged nemesis) ;)
..then, time to time, continued to pm other unsuspecting critics under the radar :)
Wow. That is very funny and quite twisted, a combo I really digg.
rm -rf *.*
09-26-06, 11:03 PM
Damn you Warren - I just spilled my beer I was laughing so hard. (but I didn't drop my cigar :) )
Ah, darn.
I was going to post about rm -rf *.* yesterday. Now I wish I had. It would have read:
Burning Man---> Jail Time----> rm -rf *.* should be showing up any moment now.
rm -rf *.*
09-27-06, 01:32 AM
Haven't been to BM in like 6 or 7 years now. After they took out the drive-by shooting range I was too bummed to want to cough up the dough for a ticket.
(the fact that they started charging is a whole different asinine story altogether)
I've never been. I'd like to go and live on espressos the whole time.
rm -rf *.*
09-27-06, 12:01 PM
I've never been. I'd like to go and live on espressos the whole time.
It's an experience to say the least. I figure your're probably just speaking hypothetically, but as an EMT who has worked medical staff at BM - I have to tell you: don't do something shortsited like trying to live on espresso or coffee for a week, or, worse, something really fracking stupid like living on crank or crystal meth. for a week - we've had to medivac more of those morons out of there than I can remember - the camp is in the desert at altitude - you're going to deydrate so fast it'll make your head spin (no pun intended). Dessicants such as coffee are just going to make things worse. Stick to water and the occational gatorade and drink continuiously, if you feel thirsty it's already too late. The excitement of the place will keep you awake for 20 hours out of the day - day in and day out.
Save living on espresso for the 20 hour drive home.
icecow2003
09-28-06, 02:07 AM
Not funny... not funny at all! I knew that dude! He was always talking about bucking the system and taking on the 'the man' as he put it... I hate to say I saw this comin'!
Did they ever catch the guy who did it... or should I continue worrying?
There he is!
I just thought of the funniest thing in the world: that icecow2003 turned out to be MikeyBoy.
sixt7gt350
09-28-06, 06:21 AM
Ah, darn.
I was going to post about rm -rf *.* yesterday. Now I wish I had. It would have read:
Burning Man---> Jail Time----> rm -rf *.* should be showing up any moment now.
I had no idea what you boys were bantering about, so I hit the Wikipedia entry for Burning Man.
Holy crap, that's one heck of a mess.
From the description, it sounds like what the Dead-heads do for fun now. I used to live near a venue that hosted the Grateful Dead every year. From all the activities described (especially the drug use, nudity, and general chaos), it sounds just like the spontaneuous campgrounds they would create. The most amusing part of the Dead-heads passing through was the way they trashed everything. For being heavily populated with environmental hippies, they always left trash everywhere.
icecow2003
09-28-06, 09:32 AM
There he is!
I just thought of the funniest thing in the world: that icecow2003 turned out to be MikeyBoy.
OOOOOH! So close! :p I think if you really thought about it, you would hit it on the head! Not like my friend in the flash presentation, though! Boy was he askin' for it!! ;)
I am pretty sure KenL knows, but he doesn't have any smilies that can explain it! :p :D :D
http://www.webmaster-hub.com/style_emoticons/hub/flamingdevil.gif
rm -rf *.*
09-28-06, 12:02 PM
Not funny... not funny at all! I knew that dude! He was always talking about bucking the system and taking on the 'the man' as he put it... I hate to say I saw this comin'!
Did they ever catch the guy who did it... or should I continue worrying?
I had no idea that 'cow was talking about a real incident until you posted this. I've been in the process of moving for the last two+ months and didn't have any systems hooked up nor was I paying much attention to the news. :o
NOOOOO! I never wanted to know for sure! Of course you and one other were in front of the shortbuslist. A zorro mask isn't just something an obese man wears as swimsuit and removes at some random moment. I can't believe you did that.
rm -rf *.*
09-28-06, 12:10 PM
OK fine -
I'm really a secret agent and I had to go on a tip-top-secret mission to hunt down the mastermind that's been secretly sneaking artifical sweeteners into the regular Mountain Dew soda and bring him to justice before the winter X-games start.
rm -rf *.*
09-28-06, 12:13 PM
Nahh-
I'm really Elvis Prestley and I had to go on my yearly "Elvis Sightings tour"
rm -rf *.*
09-28-06, 12:14 PM
or maybey I just play piano in a Mariachi band and spent the last two months in the hospital with a sprained neck...
rm -rf *.*
09-28-06, 12:15 PM
I'm Batman....
More for the frigid bovine....
http://www.planetinneed.com/
Enjoy!
...A zorro mask isn't just something an obese man wears as swimsuit and removes at some random moment. Just out of curiosity who else made the shortbus?
lizard_boy was an early suspect but I believe he has all but denied it. :eek:
You should see the feedback comments I get on ebay. I have those guys totally eating out of my hand.
I figure your're probably just speaking hypothetically, but as an EMT who has worked medical staff at BM - I have to tell you: don't do something shortsited like trying to live on espresso or coffee for a week, or, worse, something really fracking stupid like living on crank or crystal meth. for a week - we've had to medivac more of those morons out of there than I can remember - the camp is in the desert at altitude - you're going to deydrate so fast it'll make your head spin (no pun intended). Dessicants such as coffee are just going to make things worse. Stick to water and the occational gatorade and drink continuiously, if you feel thirsty it's already too late. The excitement of the place will keep you awake for 20 hours out of the day - day in and day out.
Save living on espresso for the 20 hour drive home.
At the moment of writing I was serious but forgot Burning Mans were held in the burning hot desert. Call it a BSE moment.
And I knew coffee was a duretic (which means makes you pee a lot and become desiccated (which means dried out)). I also knew that the reddish-brownish film that forms at the top of a shot of esspresso is called 'crema'. However you did force me to look up 'Desiccate' and finally get a definitive definition of the word. And I've already used it in a sentence so get off my back.
Just out of curiosity who else made the shortbus?
lizard_boy was an early suspect but I believe he has all but denied it. :eek:
I thought it was xtreme (sp), maybe you (occasionally wondered if you were xtreme), maybe JeffD solely based on the 'state of california' info.
LB was never a suspect. I don't remember ever calling him one. If I did shame on me because I'd've only done that to bug him.
I didn't think about it much because, again, I didn't want to know.
More for the frigid bovine....
http://www.planetinneed.com/
Enjoy!
Lastly, that's as funny and offbeat as the first one! good job sharing!
If you "didn't want to know" you were thinking about it too much. :o
Always a fine line... between "unsuspecting critics under the radar" and alleged nemesis.
WarrenJ
10-03-06, 12:31 AM
If you "didn't want to know" you were thinking about it too much. :o
Always a fine line... between "unsuspecting critics under the radar" and alleged nemesis.
Hmnn . . . .
Best of Google Video Search for 'cow' (first 6 pages)
My first time:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6182979903327377509&q=cow
Moosick video:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1804289478613429466&q=%22crazy+cow%22
Commercial:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2715342835356835641&q=cow
Stock Footage:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-419262768260442708&q=cow
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1977243435266893841&q=cow
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6355715300500606478&q=cow
Commercial:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4432898998776255560&q=cow
icecow2003
10-04-06, 11:19 PM
I thought it was xtreme (sp), maybe you (occasionally wondered if you were xtreme), maybe JeffD solely based on the 'state of california' info.
LB was never a suspect. I don't remember ever calling him one. If I did shame on me because I'd've only done that to bug him.
I didn't think about it much because, again, I didn't want to know.
Yep... it's an enigma, wrapped in a moist towelette... wrapped in a lizard_skinned coat. Chewing on peyote, in a surrealistic nightmarish world about a man who does not exist. But no purple pants here... just a used towelette and still the myth lives! What in the world is the basic rule of golden? We are no better equipped to see the future than to relive the past in a way that's true to our own unique and utter <<cow reference here<< totality of existance.
But I digress. Once in awhile we have to abuse those who love us and we must also take it on the head in course with our belief that we are superior to all other mammals that have four legs. A little methane? Maybe, but we are all here for a reason and should delighted and celebratory of our [pffft]... sorry!
MainCow, we salute the love and courage you have shown in accordance with the 'cow oath of [pfft]... sorry! Wow, i could fuel a beamer with that one! I gotta believe that this too shall pass.
Yep... it's an enigma, wrapped in a moist towelette... wrapped in a lizard_skinned coat.
no clue what your talking about, at least not the moist towelette part.
Chewing on peyote, in a surrealistic nightmarish world about a man who does not exist.
No clue what your talking about. Wait, are you saying I only exist in a surrealistic nightmarish world imagined by someone chewing peyote?! That sounds terrifyingly convincing.
It reminds me of grammar school when I'd chew peyote in class and just swallow it when the teacher came by then chew it again when she left. Wait, I've never done peyote in my life. I've done that before: had a flashback of a hard drug that I've never actually taken. But I just figured it out. These aren't flashbacks, they are humour induced false memories of experiences taking hard drugs. Majjjor difference.
My wide range of humour (which can only be observed by others using scatter charts) brings on all kinds of junk like that.
But no purple pants here... just a used towelette and still the myth lives!
No clue. The purple pants part has got my curiousity. What's do you mean by 'purple pants'?
What in the world is the basic rule of golden?
I think you were listening to stairway to heaven when you wrote that. I even think I know the exact part of the song.
We are no better equipped to see the future than to relive the past in a way that's true to our own unique and utter <<cow reference here<< totality of existance.
Hmm, that concept has crossed my mind about 6+ times just this last year. Either you are reading my mind and plagerizing, or we are both upchucked beings repeating the thoughts and words of upchucked beings that have lived virtually every century/generation before us.
Once in awhile we have to abuse those who love us..
who is abusing whom? i can't tell
with our belief that we are superior to all other mammals that have four legs.
Don't say that around here too loud unless you want to hear a bunch of bitchin and howling.
MainCow, we salute the love and courage you have shown in accordance with the 'cow oath of [pfft]... sorry! Wow, i could fuel a beamer with that one!
Is that sarcasim? Is that a slam? sometimes I hate the internet
I gotta believe that this too shall pass.
funny
rm -rf *.*
10-05-06, 11:25 AM
Whoa.... This is getting deep.... Where'd I put that box with my Iron Butterfly & Jefferson Airplane albums?
Artistic item for your appreciation....
http://stockholmsv.cowparade.com/image/cow/large/19037.jpg
I invite everyone to pick their favorite cow at http://stockholm.cowparade.com/cow/gallery .
Those cows are butt ugly. I'd consider it a roast if they do.
The cow above I've seen before, but only as a google thumbnail. when I clicked on the thumb nail I got an error! coo to see it in full res. thanks
I saw this one.
http://www.lactosetolerance.org/campaign.aspx
http://www.2and2.net/Uploads/Images/dream_.jpgOriginally Posted by dyker
The chosen one for whom the post is intended, will understand it completely.
drab, horrible, artless short story
by Eager Gallows Pole
The sight of the backgammon case annoyed me. I owned it for maybe 10 years. It spent most of its existence near the back of a top closet shelf, or equivalent. Its pseudo-leather complexion was less then stellar, the corners ratty, and there was the flimsy prideless hinge that kept the case closed. Like the many times before throughout my many spent years I pondered how mindlessly unintellectual the game is as i oogled the case. I suppose I am a few subtleties short of mastering the game because I have no desire to rout out the last nuances of strategy. For one, doing so would be a waste of my time, and for another, doing so would officially sterilize the game rendering it a mere feat of tieing my emotions to dice rolls; the game was already that.
Finishing those thoughts i anyway craved rolling a few white and brown dice so I opened the case. I rolled the white one a few times, both of them once, the brown one once. The serendipity was quickly drowned out by the mentally mondain annoyances of sighting familiar numbers. I was lucky to get a 6 both times I rolled the brown die, though. The white rolls: 5 followed by 2 hurt my brain to view. ..Rolled the white die a few more times: 4, 5. The street outside the window was empty. Marginal direct sunlight struck reasonably clean asphalt, trash cans, parked cars et al. Boring. I rolled the brown die again: 6. I smirked wryly. Maybe if I roll the brown die quickly again I'll get another 6. Wait, maybe rolling the white die first is required. I rolled the white die a few times to stall: 2, 5. The first two rolls of the white die where 5, 2, hmm. I also haven't rolled a 6 on the white die yet. I rolled the white die 10 more times: 2, 4, 4, 3, 5, 6 (dammit), 4, 1, 5, 3. Now for the money, I rolled the brown die: 6. I smiled through a cracked face. This isn't fun, this is torture. I rolled the brown die again: 6. damn!
So I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down everything before the memories fleeted: 5w,2w,6b,6b,2w,5w,2w,4w,4w,3w,5w,6w(damnit),3w, 6b, 6b. Now I had to ask myself, were these unusual rolls, with the brown die always rolling 6s? or was the sequence of numbers usual and the color of die irrelevant. A curious spin on precieving the math. I looked outside, the streets were empty, and dull.
Instead of ruining the paradox by again rolling the brown die and watching it not be a 6 I looked for something else to do to distract myself and mull over the problem.
Those plastic clamshell packaging things are hell, and ironically, I bought some scissors to cut them open which itself was in plastic clamshell packaging. I was already angry, and my fingers tingled in fear on prospects how to open it. All I could think of was that damn chef's knife in the kitchen. f'n great. I became a weak minded individual and blindly, blankly walked to the kitchen and back getting it. Ok, here it goes. A mostly nice slice down the long side, not quite to the edge. My stomach ached, nagging me with its disappointment of what I was doing. Down the short edge. Whoa, I watched the blade come up about 6" straight towards my face. The doorbell rang. Damnit. I rolled the brown die once: 6!! ?? then went to the front door. It was an intimitatingly overly tall wirey muscular UPS guy with pokerface set to 'polite'. I hate the sight of a guy that almost surely could physically subdue me and smiles too. He was looking downward, not at my face, and looked like he was ready to fill out a report or something. I looked down. In my haze I didn't realize I was still holding the chef's knife and began raising it as I began to appologi.. he lurched a few inches, not backwards, and I stabbed him. First to keep him away then continued robotically to keep him from getting away, then continued in my sudden new catatonic state of mind. Minutes later I found myself actively thinking again at the count of 27 stabs and did not stop until I got to 32. 32 stabs was a number of closure.
The front of his shirt was soaked. I got a towel and a bunch of oversized plastic bags. Threw the towel over him and tiled the plastic bags in the entry and pulled him in and shut the door, unlocked, then returned to my room. I looked at the dice then the package of scissors. I elected to finish opening the scissors. Pull the knife away from me, tug. This is the most fruitless, boring day ever. pry. Very high chance the roomie that lives on the far side of the house--we never talk--will be back in 6 hours. 6, i sighed. When you are at someones house and see a knife you run away, not stand your ground, mo$$#r #$ck#4! I reached between the clamshell plastic sheets and tried to wiggle the scissors out, gave up and took a 20 minute trance nap.
Lake, where's a low traffic lake. I'll chain him up with an exagerated number of chains. what if fish eat at him and his decapacitated head floats to the surface? hmm, that might happen. This is the worst day ever! I need to keep it simple and not vacillate. I'll bury him, but really really deep. This SUCKS. that's not simple, too long. I'll bury him in a big plastic tub, ! but I'll bury him with the tub upside down to shield away animals. It's going to take months before I can even begin to get over this! Oh my god the truck outside. I'll park it by the last place. no, gps. I'll deliver a few packages but only on the doorstep. risky, wow. wait, take his cellphone, but leave mine. pick his cell phone up with a plastic bag. wait, the plastic residue is signature of fowl play. handle it with his own clothing, a sock, no look for a napkin in his truck..
Keep it simple.
Off to Home Depot I went. Inside the store was surreally ordinary. A person at the front said hello as I entered. I almost felt I could snap out of it. Snap out of it I thought. I got a big thick rope then returned home. I googled noose, then hangman's knot, then gracefully tied a proud knot, then wrote a note. "I stabbed the UPS man to death. At first from a misunderstanding, then continued in fear. I will never recover from this. I'm speechlessly sorry. goodbye. P.S. Give his relatives all of my assets, KenL"
And anticlimaticly, windless days moved forward, away from a short mention in the local newspaper, and plain obituary writeups.
The End
Dedicated to KenL (and his self esteem)
Happy Halloween in advance
Mahahahahaha
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