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post #1 of 36 Old 01-17-2012, 10:58 AM - Thread Starter
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How do folks handle gaming in a family where they are the only gamer? I used to play a ton, owned all the COD games, prestiged multiple times, assassins creed, left 4 dead, numerous other games. Black Ops was the first COD game I never even prestiged, didn't bother buying MW3, in fact Skyrim was the only game I purchased last year and to date only have about 25 hours into it. My fiance doesn't game and we are now living together. For some reason sitting around watching tv, even if it is something she doesn't really like, feels different than sitting around playing games while she watches/does work. Anybody else know what I'm talking about? I rarely play games anymore unless she is out of the house.
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post #2 of 36 Old 01-17-2012, 11:02 AM
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post #3 of 36 Old 01-17-2012, 11:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mappleby285 View Post

How do folks handle gaming in a family where they are the only gamer? I used to play a ton, owned all the COD games, prestiged multiple times, assassins creed, left 4 dead, numerous other games. Black Ops was the first COD game I never even prestiged, didn't bother buying MW3, in fact Skyrim was the only game I purchased last year and to date only have about 25 hours into it. My fiance doesn't game and we are now living together. For some reason sitting around watching tv, even if it is something she doesn't really like, feels different than sitting around playing games while she watches/does work. Anybody else know what I'm talking about? I rarely play games anymore unless she is out of the house.

Get married...after a bit she will do her thing and you can do yours. So many hours of the week you will do stuff together but not as much as when dating.

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post #4 of 36 Old 01-17-2012, 11:30 AM
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Have been in a similiar situation. Guilt, drop it. It'll be ok, just make sure to do things with her still and there won't be problems. If she has problems with you gaming, well hopefully she matures out of that...
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post #5 of 36 Old 01-17-2012, 11:46 AM
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Get married...after a bit she will do her thing and you can do yours. So many hours of the week you will do stuff together but not as much as when dating.

Yup. After over a decade and kids, she reads, I go play games.

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post #6 of 36 Old 01-17-2012, 11:51 AM
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Oh and you said she doesn't game have you tried starting in on stuff like peggle? Or any of the lego games? I've got a couple started in like that. Gradually moved up to something along the lines of Borderlands where you shoot, but really all she has to do is run around, pick things up, etc...
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post #7 of 36 Old 01-17-2012, 12:12 PM
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I've been married about 4 years now and my wife is fine with gaming... as long as I don't overdo. I'll usually play for about an hour before she comes home then stop. We'll sit down and have dinner together, watch a few tv shows that we both like or whatever, then at about 8:00 she'll go to the bedroom and watch jersey shore or some crap and I'll game until I go to bed (she goes to bed early).

Just make sure that you are still doing stuff together and don't let gaming take over your life. but that's good advice whether you are married, dating, or single. One hobby/activity shouldn't dominate your life.

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post #8 of 36 Old 01-17-2012, 01:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RemoWilliams84 View Post

I've been married about 4 years now and my wife is fine with gaming... as long as I don't overdo. I'll usually play for about an hour before she comes home then stop. We'll sit down and have dinner together, watch a few tv shows that we both like or whatever, then at about 8:00 she'll go to the bedroom and watch jersey shore or some crap and I'll game until I go to bed (she goes to bed early).

Just make sure that you are still doing stuff together and don't let gaming take over your life. but that's good advice whether you are married, dating, or single. One hobby/activity shouldn't dominate your life.

Yep. On most days I'll usually wait till she goes to sleep and game for an hour or two. She goes to bed early too so usually not a problem. Weekends gives me a little more free time during the day. Still get the occasional guilt trip, but well...they do that. She's a casual gamer herself so she'll get wrapped up in zuma the way I'll play skyrim...so at least she knows the feeling.

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post #9 of 36 Old 01-17-2012, 02:01 PM
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My wife isn't into gaming at all and doesn't even like watching me play. Luckily, she doesn't give me a hard time about playing games and usually does her own thing. Fortunately, she works a lot of evenings so that gives me more free time to play. I think it helps to have two TVs so she can watch something else while you're playing if she's not interested.

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post #10 of 36 Old 01-17-2012, 02:25 PM
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post #11 of 36 Old 01-17-2012, 03:43 PM
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My wife thankfully enjoys a lot of games I do (and some I don't). If I'm playing something single-player that she doesn't have much interest in and doesn't want to read or something, she just goes in the other room and watches TV or plays a game herself.

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post #12 of 36 Old 01-17-2012, 07:34 PM
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My wife only gets bugged by guns/explosions of fps games. She doesn't seem to mind shooting in games like mass effect. She loves some games (peggle, dj hero, rock band).
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post #13 of 36 Old 01-18-2012, 11:58 AM - Thread Starter
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Well I'm a mechanical engineer so my fiance has known for a while that I'm a bit of a nerd and she accepts that. I guess I shouldn't be so concerned really, not sure why it is any different than just watching a tv show she doesn't really like.
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post #14 of 36 Old 01-18-2012, 12:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mappleby285 View Post

Well I'm a mechanical engineer so my fiance has known for a while that I'm a bit of a nerd and she accepts that. I guess I shouldn't be so concerned really, not sure why it is any different than just watching a tv show she doesn't really like.

Sounds like the XBOX is hooked up to the TV she primarily watches. Need to remedy that if you can.

I'm lucky, my GF games some, but also goes to bed pretty early so I play then. Weekends though, I mostly spend time with her so I try to get my gaming in during the week.

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post #15 of 36 Old 01-18-2012, 01:01 PM
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My wife only gets bugged by guns/explosions of fps games. She doesn't seem to mind shooting in games like mass effect. She loves some games (peggle, dj hero, rock band).

Ditto, wireless headphones remedied that.

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post #16 of 36 Old 01-18-2012, 01:02 PM
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Ditto, wireless headphones remedied that.

Then they get mad when you can't hear them.

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post #17 of 36 Old 01-18-2012, 01:08 PM
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Originally Posted by mappleby285 View Post

How do folks handle gaming in a family where they are the only gamer? I used to play a ton, owned all the COD games, prestiged multiple times, assassins creed, left 4 dead, numerous other games. Black Ops was the first COD game I never even prestiged, didn't bother buying MW3, in fact Skyrim was the only game I purchased last year and to date only have about 25 hours into it. My fiance doesn't game and we are now living together. For some reason sitting around watching tv, even if it is something she doesn't really like, feels different than sitting around playing games while she watches/does work. Anybody else know what I'm talking about? I rarely play games anymore unless she is out of the house.

Date a girl who accepts you for who you are. Including what you chose to do on your own time. If its gaming. So be it. It's more productive then just watching tv lol.

Better yet. Try to get a game both you and her might be into. Slowly get her into the games.

I for one got lucky. Mine not only doesn't mind me playing. But she plays with me. We both play COD,LBP,Gears etc... Granted I do play more then she does. But she doesn't have a problem with it. People need there own time. Gaming is just one way others do it. We have more then 1 tv on the house. So if there's something she wants to watch. She can. It works both ways.
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post #18 of 36 Old 01-19-2012, 05:08 AM
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I set ground rules before i got engaged, I said, dont mess with my video games or my motorcycles. She supports my habits of course, I cant indulge too much, I got married b/c i like spending time with my wife lol.
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post #19 of 36 Old 01-20-2012, 08:35 AM
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Been married for 5 years and still having an argument. Had one just last night. I think i play more than i think i do but way less than my wife thinks i do.

I dont get why i can waste time watching tv and everything is fine, but the second i pick up a controller, its no longer fine. Its like they dont like you having a good time without them.

It will be a never ending battle. My one and only comeback is that I tell her all of her friends have husbands that have cheated on them or go out drinking and getting into trouble.

On friday night, the only thing i want to do is be at home playing my games. I dont want to drink, dont want to mess with other women, dont want to do anything but frag some fools online.....Usually shuts her up for a while
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post #20 of 36 Old 01-20-2012, 08:43 AM
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Been married for 5 years and still having an argument. Had one just last night. I think i play more than i think i do but way less than my wife thinks i do.

I dont get why i can waste time watching tv and everything is fine, but the second i pick up a controller, its no longer fine. Its like they dont like you having a good time without them.

It will be a never ending battle. My one and only comeback is that I tell her all of her friends have husbands that have cheated on them or go out drinking and getting into trouble.

On friday night, the only thing i want to do is be at home playing my games. I dont want to drink, dont want to mess with other women, dont want to do anything but frag some fools online.....Usually shuts her up for a while

Maybe she wants to go out drinking on a Friday night instead of sitting at home?

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post #21 of 36 Old 01-20-2012, 09:14 AM
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Originally Posted by runback22 View Post

Been married for 5 years and still having an argument. Had one just last night. I think i play more than i think i do but way less than my wife thinks i do.

I dont get why i can waste time watching tv and everything is fine, but the second i pick up a controller, its no longer fine. Its like they dont like you having a good time without them.

It will be a never ending battle. My one and only comeback is that I tell her all of her friends have husbands that have cheated on them or go out drinking and getting into trouble.

On friday night, the only thing i want to do is be at home playing my games. I dont want to drink, dont want to mess with other women, dont want to do anything but frag some fools online.....Usually shuts her up for a while


That sounds like a carbon copy of my situation....... except we have a 3 month old and she is a stay at home mom.... I think our problem stems from me having ZERO alone time now, since she is at home all the time with the baby..... and I agree, why is it that zoning out on the boob tube is ok when interacting with buddies online and playing a game isn't?

Women are odd sometimes

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post #22 of 36 Old 01-20-2012, 09:38 AM
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That sounds like a carbon copy of my situation....... except we have a 3 month old and she is a stay at home mom.... I think our problem stems from me having ZERO alone time now, since she is at home all the time with the baby..... and I agree, why is it that zoning out on the boob tube is ok when interacting with buddies online and playing a game isn't?

Women are odd sometimes

Because when you're zoning out watching a show, you're a zombie that's still in the room. You can still be pulled away and engaged. When you're playing with your friends, you're immersed in a world in which she doesn't exist. it's like you're literally not present. It's lonelier for the other person.

That's a natural emotional reaction. You can't bring logic into it.

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post #23 of 36 Old 01-20-2012, 09:57 AM
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That sounds like a carbon copy of my situation....... except we have a 3 month old and she is a stay at home mom.... I think our problem stems from me having ZERO alone time now, since she is at home all the time with the baby..... and I agree, why is it that zoning out on the boob tube is ok when interacting with buddies online and playing a game isn't?

Women are odd sometimes

You should be spending time with your baby to. They are so damn cute at that age.
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post #24 of 36 Old 01-20-2012, 10:21 AM
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You guys pretty much said it... The best advice that I can give is there has to be moderation/compromise. I'm a little luckier I think since my wife is a casual gamer (ie Angry Birds) so I feel like she gets it more than a non-gamer would.

My wife understands that I'm a big gamer, she knew that before we got married (a little over a year now). For the most part she doesn't mind me playing games but certain things she can't stand -- when I play marathon sessions, or play too often (aka everyday day), and if I use too much bad language playing mp games when I start raging lol. Overall it's all about compromise though and that in mind you can come up with something that works for both you.

ahartig I think you're on to something though with the MP games, I do think when I play MP games it's a bigger issue and I need to be even more conscious of things as apposed to playing a single player games like RPGs which is not as bad since its easy to pause, take a break talk while playing etc.

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post #25 of 36 Old 01-20-2012, 10:59 AM
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and if I use too much bad language playing mp games when I start raging lol.


Lol i've noticed that you have settled down quite a bit over the past year haha

You guys want something that will really test your signifigant other?
I was a pc gamer for a long time, I played multiple games on ladders tourneys etc.. Well one of those teams had a girl, and one that was half decent looking. Everyone knows those online friends you get when you play with the same people for years (her 7 or so now). Holy crap though, anytime she would talk my fiance's nerves would just start frying (even when I had headphones), and she would constantly think she was being talked about. It took a lonnnngg time for her to finally accept its just another person online.

IME, the ones that get upset when you are interacting with other people online are generally upset that they A)Don't feel as though they have any hobbies that they like as much as you do or B) Don't feel like you are doing enough things with them.
B) really hard to make better, seems to be more of a psycological. Those are the only two types I've run into, I know there are more but those seem to be the predominant ones.
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post #26 of 36 Old 01-20-2012, 11:40 AM
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You should be spending time with your baby to. They are so damn cute at that age.

I should have added that I game strictly when my boy is sleeping..... there is nothing I would rather do than hang out with him when he is awake, he is so damn cute, but I might be biased....

My wife has mentioned that she wouldnt mind nearly as much if I were playing Fifa or some racing game.... its the damn FPS that bug her..... anyways, I just need to not game everyday.

MarkJ hit it on the head, play in moderation, limit the crazy marathon sessions, and no raging....
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post #27 of 36 Old 01-20-2012, 11:43 AM
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I should have added that I game strictly when my boy is sleeping..... there is nothing I would rather do than hang out with him when he is awake, he is so damn cute, but I might be biased....

My wife has mentioned that she wouldnt mind nearly as much if I were playing Fifa or some racing game.... its the damn FPS that bug her..... anyways, I just need to not game everyday and play in moderation.

Yeah. It's always the FPS that gets to em.

This is my little girl. She's exactly 2 months today. I wouldn't change a thing. I to game when she's sleeping. When she's awake. I make sure she sees me lol.
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post #28 of 36 Old 01-20-2012, 11:46 AM
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Yeah. It's always the FPS that gets to em.

This is my little girl. She's exactly 2 months today. I wouldn't change a thing. I to game when she's sleeping. When she's awake. I make sure she sees me lol.

HA! She is a cutie, congrats, in the pics she looks like she is sizing you up, getting ready to throw a baby punch....

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post #29 of 36 Old 01-20-2012, 11:54 AM
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post #30 of 36 Old 01-20-2012, 12:06 PM
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HA! She is a cutie, congrats, in the pics she looks like she is sizing you up, getting ready to throw a baby punch....

Hahahaha. Yeah. Thats why I kept it. Pic was taken for a green bay fan lol.
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