I asked about it before, but there did not seem to be enough interest for it (and I think such a list should stretch across to HDDVD as well)
If you wait for the new PS3 coming out for 399 (see elsewhere on how you can get it for 299..), the noise issue should be less, as they use new production process that should make the chip(s) cooler (and the fan should run less/slower).
The main downside for me on that unit is that they apparently won't support SACD. I think I can live with that though. Lack of PS2 compatibility, no memory card slots, less HD and less USB ports are really non-issues for me, but could be an issue for others I suppose.
PS3 arguably has the best IQ of any BD player, but a drawback to all ps3's is no multi-channel (5.1/7.1) analog out, you have to either use Optical for 'regular' DD/DTS surround, or HDMI to get the highres sound formats. As you mention, lack of IR on the device is annoying as well, mostly because you can't use a universal remote. There are ways around this though (not elegant, but they work)