It looks like you have settled on something now, but I'll just add that I am still using MiCasaVerde Vera and I am happy. Their latest UI5 has been working well for me. I don't know of another device this inexpensive that allows me to combine all of these different control technologies seamlessly into the Square Connect SQ Remote App, so whether I am controlling IR, IP, Z-Wave, X10, Serial, etc. it is all very quick to respond to the iPhone/iPad. I chose to use the SQ Remote from Square Connect to control Vera, but SC has some other great solutions including a WiFi IR Blaster and other controls which I will be using more of as they are great.
There are several Alarm plug-ins or 2Gig could be setup as a secondary controller. The alarm plug-ins allow you to use all of the alarm sensors for scenes in Vera, too. Of course the thermostats and Locks are the killer apps for Z-Wave and lighting controls can be inexpensive too. Thanks to watching the net and jumping on sales I was able to outfit the entire house and I am still under $2000 (including sprinklers). For basic stuff there isn't much of a learning curve, but more advanced automation can take some learning (the forum is there to help). They offer free secure remote access and you don't have to buy a native app for control but it elevates the system to feel like more expensive offerings.