Only lights/whole home audio, or will you someday be wanting to integrate other things like HVAC, security system, access control, etc.?
I use UPB for my entire house, 40+ lights, and use an android phone to remotely control the switches/activate scenes. If you are operating one of the light switches from the room it is instantaneous and identical to how a regular light switch operates. Using the android phone might have a 0.5-1 second lag, but definitely livable.
The big thing, is if you want to integrate lighting together with whole house audio in some sort of unified experience then you'll definitely need a home automation controller. My first thoughts would be an Elk M1 or HAI OmniPro II. don't get me wrong, you probably can find two separate apps to run the lighting/whole house audio separately, but if you need high wife acceptance then the only way to do it will be through some automation system that integrates the lighting/whole house audio into one place.