Just saw this on the east coast News PR
Wire. I think this might really reignite the debate over the best HDMI cable.
LIRPA LABS INTRODUCES NEW 1.4DC ULTRA HIGH SPEED HDMI CABLEImproved Audio and Video Quality Guaranteed Or Some Money Back
April 1, 2013 --- Lirpa Labs, maker of some of the finest audio and video equipment and components, is proud to announce their newest innovation in HDMI transmission technology. The Lirpa HDMi Egotastic-1000 cable is now available at leading resellers throughout the USA and Canada. The Lirpa HDMi Egotastic-1000 (referred to as the Ego 1K Cable throughout the company) is the culmination of decades of research into how improvements in cable technology and price result in a cable that can be seen and heard as an improvement over previous less expensive cables.
President of Lirpa Labs, Dr. Loofs Lirpa, said at the Ego Cable unveiling,
“You cannot imagine how proud I am for our shareholders that we have been able to release such a cable into the wild. The Ego 1K Cable represents decades of research, by our marketing department, into what makes consumers perceive an improvement to their audio / video experience. And, as anyone in the music industry will tell you, perception is king!”
The Ego 1K Cable was subject to multiple double-blind tests. “Volunteers” from the National Institute for Blindness (NIB) were bussed into Lirpa Labs. The sight-impaired “volunteers” were divided into pairs and forced to “watch” and listen to video and audio selections. Prior to each selection, the type of HDMI cable (whether a cheap ineffective one or a Lirpa Labs Ego 1K HDMI cable) was changed and announced to the testers. In 98.9% of the tests, the double-blind testers were able to determine they were listening to the new Ego 1K Cable. A remarkable test result for a remarkable cable!
How does Lirpa Labs do it? The new Ego 1K Cable uses a proprietary process whereby all neutrons are removed from the pure-titanium solid cable core. Positrons are then deposited into the core of the solid core to enhance the efficiency of the negative charge transfer that occurs during most individual HDMI packet transmissions. This very solid core is then surrounded by a package of material that mostly neutralizes the positron/electron interactions.
This red, white and blue insulation material is what is seen from the outside of the cable. The double-blind testing groups voted overwhelmingly that the red, white and blue insulation was one of the best features of the Ego 1K Cable over cheaper, poorer sounding alternatives. The white portion of the insulation is made of a super-rubber compound (with all molecules removed) that gives the cable extra toughness. As an added insurance against cable integrity loss, the red band is made up of rare Earth magnets that re-infuse electrons into the transmission medium insuring that electron leaks will not occur during the expected lifetime of the Ego Cable and its user.
This process enhances the video signal by adding extra coherent bits of data to the video signal. These extra bits can, for instance, turn a standard definition signal into a full high definition program, just by using the Ego 1K Cable! Use two of them in parallel to generate a 4K signal from any standard definition sources.
One final surprise that Lirpa Labs cooked into the new Ego 1K Cable for HDMI was the addition of a separate audio channel. Vice President of Operations and Dr. Lirpa’s daughter, Sniar Loopa, commented,
“One particularly onerous owner really wanted a separate audio channel included with the HDMI data stream. We didn’t understand why but it increased the price. So, we included the new feature. We respond to our customers who can pay and don’t mind paying more! “
The cable using the magical properties of the blue insulation band, takes the audio signal embedded in the data stream, removes any of the annoying encryption properties and generates a pure audio signal on top of the titanium solid core. By tuning the cable, the pure audio signal can either be analog or digital. No other HDMI cable can promise and deliver on this capability.
When asked why some engineers and scientists criticize Lirpa Lab’s methods, the soon-to-be-married Ms. Lirpa added,
“This cable is unbelievable and many engineers don’t believe it either. There is more to an HDMI cable than just 0s, 1s and 2s. The ethereal aspects of an HDMI cable are so hard to define. The Ego 1K cable is the best cable we’ve ever made and it goes beyond what normal cheap cables can do. It may be our best product ever, providing more sonic improvement than our Liberty speakers. Even with my hearing aids, the result of that unfortunate magnetic forklift “accident”, I can hear the difference and see it, too! “
“But, even if you don’t believe me, you should try one. If you don’t agree that you are hearing things in your head that you never heard before, you can always try to return it. But, if you don’t try it, it’s no skin off my back. I know what I’m talking about since I had over a year of experience repairing air conditioning equipment. Remember here at Lirpa Labs we give our customers the business!"
The Ego 1K Cable meets stringent requirements for the newest HDMI specification – HDMI 1.4dc. Ego 1K Cables are available in quantity for unbelievable prices. Consumer MSRP is expected to be $7,999.99 per foot of cable (optional beryllium-plated connectors not included). Cables are not available in metric but only in real English standard units. Any attempt to measure the cable in metric units automatically voids the warranty.
The HDMI Ultra-High Speed HDMi Egotastic-1000 cable is available starting on April 1, 2013 while the supply lasts. No exchanges, refunds or lawsuits will be accepted. Please note that the infrequent electron/positron interactions may cause the Lirpa Labs HDMi Egotastic-1000 cable to occasionally shake, glow and burst. These reactions are normal operations and do not usually require the evacuation of the home or business. The warranty does not cover any direct or incidental home or work damage caused by the HDMi Egotastic-1000 cable.
Supplies are extremely limited and not expected to last longer than reading this press release. Happy April Fools Day! Honk if you read this far…