Nude Nuns With Big Guns (Blu-ray) Official AVSForum Review - AVS Forum
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post #1 of 22 Old 02-20-2012, 03:53 PM - Thread Starter
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attachment.php?attachmentid=234944&d=1327198932"
The Review at a Glance: ( max score: 5 )

Film: attachment.php?attachmentid=109940&d=1210373697

Extras: attachment.php?attachmentid=109940&d=1210373697

Audio/Video total rating:

( Max score: 100 )

74






Studio and Year: Image Entertainment - 2010
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Feature running time: 92 minutes
Genre: : Action/Adventure, Thriller


Disc Format: BD-25
Encoding: AVC (MPEG-4)
Video Aspect: 1.85:1
Resolution: 1080p/24


Audio Format(s): English DTS HD Master Audio 5.1
Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish
Starring: Asun Ortega, David Castro, Perry D’Marco
Directed by: Joseph Guzman
Music by: Dan Gross
Written by: Joseph Guzman, Robert James Hayes II
Region Code: A

Blu-ray Disc release Date: February 14, 2012







"This Sister Is One Bad Mother."



Film Synopsis:

Upon taking her vows to become a nun, Sister Sarah is abused, brainwashed and drugged into submission by the corrupt clergy.




My Take:

Sister Sarah has had enough. Enough of being a sex slave, being raped and being privy to the priests and clergy dealing heroin. I bet she had enough of being in this terrible movie as well. Thakfully she receives a divine message to seek revenge so she escapes to punish the drug pushing priests and their partners, a biker gang called Los Muertos. I could be wrong, but this feels like the writers had a genre and vibe in mind, then made a story to fit. Nude Nuns With Big Guns wants so badly to be a Rodriquez/Tarantino wanna-be Grindhouse flick that it's the "Single White Female" of movies. I threw this one in last week and just couldn't get through it, and thats saying a lot, just look at what I usually get to write up. I gave it another go and got through this terribly acted, low budget, bad movie, just for you. So what was it that got me through this experience? Maybe it was all the nudity and lesbian action, maybe the gratuitousness violence (especially the shot off penis)? I guess fans of these types of flicks might dig it and if you go in expecting complete trash for trash sake, it's not that bad.








Parental Guide:

Sex, Nudity, Extreme Violence, Drug Use and language.





AUDIO/VIDEO - By The Numbers:
REFERENCE = 92-100 / EXCELLENT = 83-91 / GOOD = 74-82 / AVERAGE = 65-73 / BELOW AVERAGE = under 65

**My audio/video ratings are based upon a comparative made against other high definition media/blu-ray disc.**


(Each rating is worth 4 points with a max of 5 per category)

Audio: 72



  • Dynamics: attachment.php?attachmentid=109946&d=1210373694

  • Low frequency extension: attachment.php?attachmentid=109945&d=1210373698

  • Surround Sound presentation: attachment.php?attachmentid=109945&d=1210373697

  • Clarity/Detail: attachment.php?attachmentid=109946&d=1210373697

  • Dialogue Reproduction: attachment.php?attachmentid=109944&d=1210373697


Video: 76


(Each rating is worth 4 points with a max of 5 per category)


  • Resolution/Clarity: attachment.php?attachmentid=109945&d=1210373699

  • Black level/Shadow detail: attachment.php?attachmentid=109945&d=1210373699

  • Color reproduction: attachment.php?attachmentid=109945&d=1210373699

  • Fleshtones: attachment.php?attachmentid=109945&d=1210373699

  • Compression: attachment.php?attachmentid=109947&d=1210373699

Nude Nuns With Big Guns comes to Blu-ray Disc from Image Entertainment featuring 1080p AVC encoded video that has an average bitrate of 23 mbps and DTS-HD Master Audio sound

To match the film itself, Nude Nuns With Big Guns falls short in the technical department as well. Again, Writer/Director Joseph Guzman tries so desperately to rub elbows with the Grindhouse/Tarantino vibe by messing with the look. Colors are intentionally wonky, glossing the whole image over with red, yellow or brown and adding blown out contrast. Sometimes it works, but mostly it is flat and ugly. Of course, this makes black levels suffer and limits fine details. This one would have been better left alone. The DTS-HD audio is terrible. Seriously, how did this one get pressed like this? Dialouge is low, effects lack any punch and surrounds are hardly used and the soundtrack is tiny and is Lo-Fi on purpose. I guess if you try to make your film look and sound "vintage", it can look OK like "Grindhouse", or seriously backfire and look and sound like s*&t.



Bonus Features:


  • (HD) Nude Nuns Short Film

  • (HD) Trailer





Final Thoughts:

Nude Nuns With Big Guns...the title is a 50/50er. It's either going to be awesome or a complete stinker. By now you know to avoid this baby like the plague. I had a hard time watching this one, and had to force myself to get through it so I can warn you all to stay away...stay far far away--unless you are a exploitation fan and you just might find something in the films copious amount of nudity and violence. Sub-par audio and video mingle with 4 minutes of wasted extras to make this release 4 minutes longer than it should be. Pass.






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Lee Weber
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post #2 of 22 Old 02-20-2012, 04:16 PM
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Lee...I'm surprised you gave it 1 star

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post #3 of 22 Old 02-20-2012, 04:26 PM - Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave Vaughn View Post

Lee...I'm surprised you gave it 1 star

Naked woman is worth a star.
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post #4 of 22 Old 02-20-2012, 06:25 PM
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This movie is supposed to be bad,, thats the whole point of the movie and why I bought it (have not watched it yet).

Really bad movies can be very entertaining,,,,, movies like Black Sheep, Nude On The Moon and I Spit On Your Grave can be huge fun to watch.

Cheers
Davyo
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post #5 of 22 Old 02-20-2012, 06:28 PM - Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davyo View Post

This movie is supposed to be bad,, thats the whole point of the movie and why I bought it (have not watched it yet).

Really bad movies can be very entertaining,,,,, movies like Black Sheep, Nude On The Moon and I Spit On Your Grave can be huge fun to watch.

Cheers
Davyo

Well then they succeeded! Trust me, it wasn't supposed to be this bad
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post #6 of 22 Old 02-20-2012, 07:19 PM
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Sounds like Russ Meyer material from the early '70's. It's been so done before.
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post #7 of 22 Old 02-20-2012, 09:51 PM
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The title itself makes me want to watch the movie

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post #8 of 22 Old 02-21-2012, 07:09 AM
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When i first saw the title i thought to myself am i in the "adult" section of the forum? LOL!

With a title like that i mean c'mon.
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post #9 of 22 Old 02-21-2012, 07:11 AM
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Sounds like a tranny movie

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post #10 of 22 Old 02-21-2012, 07:22 AM
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Yuck. Wouldn't waste a minute of my time on this turd.
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post #11 of 22 Old 02-21-2012, 08:00 AM
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I wish I could review some of King P's flicks !
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post #12 of 22 Old 02-21-2012, 10:40 AM
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Sounds like a horrible movie--you are to be commended for actually watching it.

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post #13 of 22 Old 02-21-2012, 11:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davyo View Post

This movie is supposed to be bad,, thats the whole point of the movie and why I bought it (have not watched it yet).

Really bad movies can be very entertaining,,,,, movies like Black Sheep, Nude On The Moon and I Spit On Your Grave can be huge fun to watch.

Cheers
Davyo

So bad they went around and got good films, I think what Lee is saying it never went far enough to get good

Jesus I'm curious now

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post #14 of 22 Old 02-21-2012, 12:58 PM
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Lee, you need to talk Ralph into letting you take on some of the A material ..

Oddball: Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?

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post #15 of 22 Old 02-21-2012, 01:46 PM
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Thanks for taking the hit for us, Lee. This sounds pretty bad, even for bad movies--not The Asylum-bad, mind, just...bad.

...and I need your sweet love, Latina T-Mobile girl!

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post #16 of 22 Old 02-21-2012, 06:52 PM
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Horrible movie. The nudity doesn't even come close to making this anywhere near watchable.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence

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post #17 of 22 Old 02-22-2012, 08:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrlittlejeans View Post

Horrible movie. The nudity doesn't even come close to making this anywhere near watchable.

Totally agree!!!

Even the nudity is bad. (never thought I'd write that.)
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post #18 of 22 Old 02-22-2012, 12:35 PM
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Ok,,, now Im startng to worry,,,, Lee gives this bad movie a bad review and now I read the nudity aint even good.

I bought this movie hoping it would be so bad it would be good, and also for what I thought would be lots of cheap nudity,,,, the movie is still in the wrapper and I have friends coming over this weekend to watch it.

Cheers
Davyo
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post #19 of 22 Old 02-22-2012, 01:11 PM
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Nunsploitation at it's worst.

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post #20 of 22 Old 02-22-2012, 01:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davyo View Post

Ok,,, now Im startng to worry,,,, Lee gives this bad movie a bad review and now I read the nudity aint even good.

I bought this movie hoping it would be so bad it would be good, and also for what I thought would be lots of cheap nudity,,,, the movie is still in the wrapper and I have friends coming over this weekend to watch it.

Cheers
Davyo

On the up side, your expectations are now so low, that it may appear "good" when you give it a watch.

Good luck!

Art
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post #21 of 22 Old 02-22-2012, 07:09 PM
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I saw the trailer of it. Very cheezy and look like the Machete movie.

The trailer looks kinda funny and not serious about it.
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post #22 of 22 Old 02-23-2012, 11:50 AM
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It's on the list to watch for sure.

Sounds like it could be as good (read bad) as the zombie chicken thing I saw a few months ago. Probably will not top Mega Piranha though

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