Don't know how much time you've spent cruising around the HT forums here, but it sounds like the 'Show Me'
thread will be your good friend for research purposes. There is a 'Color Schemes'
thread that will give you more options then you ever wanted to know about.
For one, I doubt anyone here would ever tell you that black is bad, no matter what part of the room you want that to be. Black is always
good in the theater, especially when done on the ceiling and screen wall. Many many other colors can be used for your walls (including black), so I think you'll be able to reach an agreement with the wife easily enough. And things don't necessarily have to be black
, using any dark color will fade to black when the lights are off.
As far as reflections are concerned, try to keep the ceiling and front walls dark, as well as flat
. Any kind of gloss on these surfaces will increase the amount of reflections from the PJ. Side and rear walls can be eggshell for easier cleanup.
One of the well documented threads done in all black and gold is the 'Best Room in the House'
thread, might give you some ideas.
Where is your gear going to be located?