The TV is the most important link, just as speakers are for a sound system.
TVs that suffer from crosstalk do so at different levels of performance so that only under certain conditions, such as a high contrast scene, will they rat themselves out. In this case, movies with a lot of high contrast scenes will thus appear worse than movies with fewer. A poor anaolgy is a car with a wheel out of balance. You might not notice it at low speeds, but it is still a defect in the wheel, and will rear it's head at higher speeds. Don't blame the speed, blame the wheel balance. That is why you are seeing inconsistent results.
Though there are poor movies and glasses out there, ghosting is still generally the TVs fault, not the movie. This has been illustrated in another forum by comparing the same movie on an early 3D LCD and then a DLP. Because DLP's pixels are so fast, there was no ghosting such as was seen on the LCD. Newer LCDs have been claimed to be improved in that respect, but have yet to completely eliminate ghosting.
I have read of no instances of the player being a problem, except where the player was defective.
"The wise understand by themselves; fools follow the reports of others"-Tibetan Proverb