Ok so heres an update ... I have a Sony Vaio all-in-one that I knew had newer graphics. I brought it down to the theater room and the 3D worked like a charm. Stereoscopic player, side-by-side 3D file, DLP-Link glasses ... perfect 3D.
And because my little media center can actually play the 3D files without skipping or lagging I'm assuming the problem isn't RAM or processor speed ... its probably the video card. The ATI Radeon 4200 just isn't powerful enough.
Heres the problem, this is a Dell Zino, one of those tiny boxes like a Shuttle ... no graphics port, the video is on board. No expansion slots at all. The only thing I have to work with is USB 2.0.
Can I get an external USB 2.0 video card capable of passing through 3D video? HDMI 1.4 I guess?