Ok, I uninstalled Flash for IE, Flash for FF, and chrome altogether (apparently Chrome has flash built in), restarted and reinstalled. Hardware acceleration was already enabled for all 3 flash players.
IE and FF are now using DXVA (used about 80% CPU, and the DXVAChecker trace log showed DXVA activity).
Chrome is still not using DXVA and is unwatchable with a 1080p youtube test video.
IE using Flash 11,4,402,265
FF using Flash 11,4,402,265
Chrome using Flash 11,3,31,232
Would like to get chrome working as it's my primary browser.