some of these may be too cheesey, but some are fun - take what you like...
You thought they were the average American family. With a normal car. Normal lawn. Normal kids. Well you were wrong, dead wrong. This weekend, (pause to add custom theater name or family name) invites you to witness what you have been missing out on you entire life - the home theater experience. You may never leave.
In a world where people still watch standard definition television, one family says "no more." This weekend, you are invited to be a part of the high definition home theater experience.
A story this big can only be told on a screen this size.
This is the true story of an ordinary man, who made an extraordinary home theater. Join us in a theater that critics are calling "sweet" and "freekin' awesome." The Times writes, "You don't have to worry about cell phones or annoying strangers. Four stars." And the Daily Globe reports "A life changing experience. They have a real popcorn maker and everything. Totally pimped out." (pause to insert custom theater name), a "freekin' awesome" experience.
A friendly reminder, the last person to leave there cell phone on in here was stripped down, thrown in a barrell full of rusty thumb tacks, and rolled up and down every hill in San Francisco. Enjoy the show!