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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Tucson, Arizona
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This show really found itself and has been really solid with everyone in the case contributing. Last night was great. Schmidt's intermittent pain has me in tears. (Best was when Jess described Jen as the Asian version of herself).
"Hello, Nick, you magnificent dumbass. You decided to get back with Caroline? Well congratulations, you idiot. She destroyed you. [Pulls out a jar holding a clear liquid] These, my dumb friend, are your tears. You saved them all. Think back, Nick -- or whatever they call you in your times. Who dumped you three times? Once before your brother's wedding! This is the poem you wrote about Caroline: 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? No, a summer's day is not a bitch.' Look at how far you've come. Want to be a bartender forever, pal? You want to be a grown man who dresses like an unsponsored professional skateboarder? You don't want to live like this. You're movin' on! [Double barrels Jack and beer] Hey, what's the different between me and Bill Cosby? [does Cosby jazz hands]"
And later... "Now that I've got your attention, Future Nick, there are few things I'd like to talk to you about: Be nicer to your mom when she calls. Stop giving yourself high fives. Put your head under water, you 2-year-old! Be nicer to Coach or he's going to take off... live with a bunch of other white people. ... I know karate! ... I'm Nick, I'm grumpy, I'm going to put my baby hood on! Sex is a sprint, not a marathon. [singing] You are special, you are special! [abruptly stops to look around] We'll see each other in the future."
"Nowadays, you can just click a button and buy a book, meet your spouse or ruin someone's life. Sometimes those last two are the same thing." John Oliver.