each of the ten rooms has a pioneer vsx-1012 which are currently $240 on amazon. receivers are in an av closet.
Wow! 10 receivers in a single AV closet? How big is that AV closet? The receivers alone would take up 40 units in a rack. I would look into alternatives, like a true WHA system, such as Sonos, Russound, HTD or NuVo. You'll end up spending a bit more, but you'll have a much better end user experience. With a true WHA system, you can group rooms together into one bigger zone, yet independently control the volume in each of the rooms.
What I am most concerned with is having a system that is really easy to use for the wife and kids.
All of the aforementioned's smartphone/tablet apps are intuitive and easy to use.
If he wished to access itunes library, I will have a PC always on running itunes with home sharing enabled.
You're better off getting a dedicated server and placing all the music on the server instead of leaving a PC on 24/7. You can get cheap ones for $100-$200.
However if someone wanted to put on music in multiple rooms my solution is to get on the macbook or PC and play your music. Those devices will have airfoil installed which will allow them to steram to multiple airplay receivers.
This makes the system less intuitive...
video will simply be blu ray players and fios boxes in the closet hooked up to the receivers. remotes will either be rf or infrared. cabling will be cat6 with hdmi wall plates.
One blu ray player per video zone? For remotes, look at iRule. Using wifi to control your system will be better than IR and RF. And skip the wall plates. Just pass the Cat6 through the wall to an HDMI balun as close to TV as possible. Then get a short HDMI cable to complete your run.