Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: On the Chesapeake Bay, Virginia
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
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I have two new products to market: Snake Oil and Fairy Dust.
You all know I've been on this price/pound kick, but these new products are so expensive that I have to price them at fluid ounces for the Snake Oil and dry ounces for the Fairy Dust. In keeping with the high-end cable market, I only put a 10,000% markup on these products. They work; trust me, believe me.
Everything is based on Quantum Mechanics. I have an advanced degree in Applied Physics. They work; trust me, believe me
How to use these new audiophile products?
Let's address the Snake Oil first:
Put a dab of Snake Oil on a soft cloth and lightly rub your speaker drivers and your chassis of electronic equipment. Also you can rub a little on your speaker body; it will add protection to the finish plus the other glorious benefits. Put a dab on the end of all your interconnects and speaker cables. Turn those $200 cables into high-end $40K MIT or Transparent Audio cables. Win, win. They work; trust me, believe me.
Your cloth will still have some residue left, so when no one i.s looking, dab the end of your member...instant hardness and gratification.They work; trust me, believe me.
It also works as a vaginal lubricant. They work; trust me, believe me.
Now for the Fairy Dust:
This product is a little bit more difficult to implement because it is so light and airy.
Take a 1/4 teaspoon and place it on an index card. Place it front of your component and lightly blow. This works for speakers and cables also. You will get a light coating on your electronics, cables, and speakers. Gently leave the room and close the door. Wait for at least 12 hours as the Fairy Dust has to burn into the substrate. Those $1000 components will now sound like $30,000. Those $3,000 speakers will now sound like $75,000 speakers.
They work; trust me, believe me.
Not only does the Fairy Dust and the Snake Oil dramatically increase the performance of your system (including your personal hardness and performance), the two products also create an aura around you stereo system that makes it look much more expensive than it really is. They work; trust me, believe me.
We did countless hours of both qualitative and subjective analysis. We threw out the qualitative because it just didn't measure up to our subjective analysis.
I forgot Price: We are offering an introductory price of only $5,000 per fluid ounce for the Snake Oil and only $6,000 per ounce of the Fairy Dust.
This is an incredible bargain at these prices
Last edited by Borderdog; 09-23-2017 at 09:12 AM.