What's your candidate for the biggest bunch of audio baloney ever written or perpetrated? - AVS Forum
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post #1 of 183 Old 07-24-2012, 11:14 AM - Thread Starter
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I am using the word "baloney" here as a token gesture of politeness.

I realize this is a very tough question simply because there is so much of it. Until recently, I would have had a tough time coming up with something that really stood head and shoulders above the rest. All that changed after recently browsing the "What's Best Forum", where a link to this PDF file was posted, apparently in total seriousness.

Now I must admit to not having nearly finished it, but from what I have read so far, this document (261 pages!) is set to make audio baloney history.

Can you top this? If so, please post a link!
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post #2 of 183 Old 07-24-2012, 11:29 AM
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LOL, more cable BS. That's nothing compared to the famous Teleportation Tweak. For $60 this guy will make your hi-fi sound better by basically praying for it over the telephone:

http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina60.htm

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post #3 of 183 Old 07-24-2012, 11:39 AM
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Any adverts around for the Tice Clock?

Shakti Stones?

Moon Rocks?

* Went to the link Ethan providedand poked around a bit... Plenty of fodder to be found! I would have thought it's a joke site, but I imagine he's making money from it.

"After silence, that which best expresses the inexpressible, is music" - Aldous Huxley
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post #4 of 183 Old 07-24-2012, 11:40 AM
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HDMI jitter since it is more sneaky than the usual suspects (cable, etc.)
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post #5 of 183 Old 07-24-2012, 11:47 AM
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1) Harley's book.

2) Fremer's review of the Wavac amp.

Nothing else even comes close.

If you can't explain how it works, you can't say it doesn't.—The High-End Creed

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post #6 of 183 Old 07-24-2012, 12:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rock_bottom View Post

I am using the word "baloney" here as a token gesture of politeness.
I realize this is a very tough question simply because there is so much of it. Until recently, I would have had a tough time coming up with something that really stood head and shoulders above the rest. All that changed after recently browsing the "What's Best Forum", where a link to this PDF file was posted, apparently in total seriousness.
Now I must admit to not having nearly finished it, but from what I have read so far, this document (261 pages!) is set to make audio baloney history.
Can you top this? If so, please post a link!

http://www.belt.demon.co.uk/

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post #7 of 183 Old 07-24-2012, 12:53 PM - Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ethan Winer View Post

LOL, more cable BS. That's nothing compared to the famous Teleportation Tweak. For $60 this guy will make your hi-fi sound better by basically praying for it over the telephone:

Phone sex for your stereo! One guy on a now-defunct forum tried it just as a joke and said it sounded like somebody "banging on a pie pan with a dinner fork" biggrin.gif. A bit of the history that's left can be found here and here.

Another funny thing about MD is that they claim to have received an award from the U.S. Commerce Association. Here is a BBB report that describes the U.S. Commerce Association and its awards.
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post #8 of 183 Old 07-24-2012, 12:58 PM - Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arnyk View Post


http://www.belt.demon.co.uk/

Is that attached picture the infamous "electret cream" or whatever it is?

BTW, ever hear of Mark Levinson Gold Creams?
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post #9 of 183 Old 07-24-2012, 01:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rock_bottom View Post

Is that attached picture the infamous "electret cream" or whatever it is?

It is Special One Drop Liquid.

http://www.belt.demon.co.uk/product/odl/One_Drop_Liquid.html

For the full list of special products, look here:

http://www.belt.demon.co.uk/product/product.html

This is the product list

Portable audio equipment Improvement Pack (P.W.B. Foils)

P.W.B. "Top Up and Trial Foil Pack"

P.W.B. Memory Foil

New Generation P.W.B. Devices

P.W.B. Chunky Pens

Quantum Clip

Coloured Electret Ring Ties

P.W.B. Rainbow Electret Foil

P.W.B. Cream Electret

P.W.B. Sol - Electret

P.W.B. Red 'x' Co-ordinate Pen

Digiplus

Coloured Magnadiscs

Smart Metal

Spiratube

Morphic Message Foils |

Beginners Pack and Intermediate Pack

P.W.B. Copper and Aluminium Foils.

Brown Ties assembly for Upholstery Curtains Carpets - CCU

Real Foil

Inside Foil

Freeze Effect Foil

Quantum Rainbow Foil and Cream

Inverting Foil

See all the good stuff that you wouldn't know about without my help? ;-)
Quote:
BTW, ever hear of Mark Levinson Gold Creams?

I thought his ex- wife was in charge of the creams... ;-)
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post #10 of 183 Old 07-24-2012, 01:38 PM
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From the 8.12 Popular Mechanics, page 42 which was a short blurb on the 2013 Lexus 350 ES & 300h cars.
Neat trick: The Mark Levinson audio system uses powerful magnets to reduce weight in the speaker system-contributing to better fuel economy.

"I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone that someone is probably the last person you should ask." - Gregory House
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post #11 of 183 Old 07-24-2012, 02:03 PM
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I always enjoyed the magic blue goop that was painted all over all the cable harness and PCB components to reduce microsonic vibrations we discussed at length in the incredible mods discussions.
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post #12 of 183 Old 07-24-2012, 02:23 PM
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From Classe SSP-800 Owners' Manual:

warm-up/break-in period

Your new Classé processor delivers outstanding performance immediately.
However, you can expect to hear subtle improvements as it reaches normal
operating temperatures and breaks-in.

In our experience, you can expect the greatest changes within the first 300 hours.
After initial break-in, you’ll enjoy consistent performance levels for years to
come.

The only exception is if the unit is unplugged for an extended period of time,
during which the processor will cool down. Depending on the degree of cooling
involved, you should expect a brief warm-up period before the Surround Sound
Processor’s sound quality is at its best.

http://www.classeaudio.com/ctseries/downloads/CT-SSP_SSP-800_ENG_2.1.pdf
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post #13 of 183 Old 07-24-2012, 05:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chu Gai View Post

From the 8.12 Popular Mechanics, page 42 which was a short blurb on the 2013 Lexus 350 ES & 300h cars.
Neat trick: The Mark Levinson audio system uses powerful magnets to reduce weight in the speaker system-contributing to better fuel economy.

That's actually, if marginally, true. Neo magnets weigh less than ceramic magnets, and lower mass in an automobile leads to better fuel economy. And performance, agility, responsiveness, etc. Of course, all that sound deadening in a Lexus doesn't help fuel economy. smile.gif

At any rate, my vote is for those wire scammers at Audioquest, because of their ads for tarted up computer wires with the headline "Really...Just One's [sic] and Zero's [sic]?"

One would think that such feckless con-men would at least be able to get the grammar right! The ads make them look not only technically illiterate but also generally unschooled.

(And yes, I am quoting properly.)

A good general rule is, if the marketer feels that they have to expressly tell you in their propaganda that their thingy sounds different, it doesn't.

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post #14 of 183 Old 07-25-2012, 01:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rock_bottom View Post

Phone sex for your stereo! One guy on a now-defunct forum tried it just as a joke and said it sounded like somebody "banging on a pie pan with a dinner fork" biggrin.gif. A bit of the history that's left can be found here and here. Another funny thing about MD is that they claim to have received an award from the U.S. Commerce Association. Here is a BBB report that describes the U.S. Commerce Association and its awards.

Excellent, LOL at all of that. BTW, the BBB is not so clean itself. They were exposed for giving businesses poor ratings unless they paid $400 per year to become members. Then they got good ratings even if many people had complained about them. I saw an exposé on that a few months ago, with quotes from a number of business owners.

--Ethan

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post #15 of 183 Old 07-25-2012, 03:35 PM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Ethan Winer View Post

Excellent, LOL at all of that. BTW, the BBB is not so clean itself. They were exposed for giving businesses poor ratings unless they paid $400 per year to become members. Then they got good ratings even if many people had complained about them. I saw an exposé on that a few months ago, with quotes from a number of business owners.

Yes, I saw that one! They gave Hamas.com an "A" rating. biggrin.gif
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post #16 of 183 Old 07-26-2012, 06:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chu Gai View Post

From the 8.12 Popular Mechanics, page 42 which was a short blurb on the 2013 Lexus 350 ES & 300h cars.
Neat trick: The Mark Levinson audio system uses powerful magnets to reduce weight in the speaker system-contributing to better fuel economy.
Ha? The Mark Levinon audio upgrade option uses 12 speakers. You don't think the weight of all of them would add up? Meeting the weight requirement is one of the top challenges for OEM car audio companies. I remember the original Lexus LS400 designers killed themselves to save just a few pounds in order to avoid the gas guzzler tax. If you are at the edge of meeting 20 mpg city, you will kill yourself to get there instead of settling for 19.....

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post #17 of 183 Old 07-26-2012, 08:43 PM
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Will the weight savings be enough to offset a bag of golf clubs? What about if two people and their kids are in the car?

"I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone that someone is probably the last person you should ask." - Gregory House
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post #18 of 183 Old 07-27-2012, 08:52 AM
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Nobody mentioned the green CD marker. A $10 rebranded green Sharpie.

Yes I remember the Tice clock, and the identical one you could get at Radio Shack for $20. And the brick, audio brick, or whatever.

Seem to recall something about orienting your gear in the proper position in the earth's magnetic field too. Supposed to make things sound better, though I don't remember stated the "science", if any.
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post #19 of 183 Old 07-27-2012, 09:31 AM
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Originally Posted by has7738 View Post

Nobody mentioned the green CD marker. A $10 rebranded green Sharpie.
Yes I remember the Tice clock, and the identical one you could get at Radio Shack for $20. And the brick, audio brick, or whatever.
Seem to recall something about orienting your gear in the proper position in the earth's magnetic field too. Supposed to make things sound better, though I don't remember stated the "science", if any.

That's only because groups like PWB are doing the same thing in multiple dimensions, or should I say different dementias? ;-)

These were the ground breakers - the green pens, bricks and small electrical appliances. I seem to recall that the Tice clock was even too much for SP!
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post #20 of 183 Old 07-27-2012, 12:49 PM
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I think SP in general liked the Tice, but it was short lived. The green pen lasted a Looong time, even survived serious de-bunking. There were also Cd weiight/mass/balancing bands. Red rubber things you stuck to the edge of th CD.
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post #21 of 183 Old 07-27-2012, 12:57 PM
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I once had the owner of an audio store demonstrate the Green Pen to me. He played a bit of an untreated CD, then colored the rim and played it again. And it really, really sounded better the second time.

Of course, I knew enough about human psychology to understand why it sounded better (expectation bias, presentation order bias, possible level change). But even knowing all that, it still sounded better.

If you can't explain how it works, you can't say it doesn't.—The High-End Creed

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Originally Posted by mcnarus View Post

But even knowing all that, it still sounded better.
That makes you not one of those superhumans who post on this forum once in a while that are immune to natural human capacities.
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post #23 of 183 Old 07-27-2012, 06:18 PM
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That makes you not one of those superhumans who post on this forum once in a while that are immune to natural human capacities.
Damn. There goes my self-esteem. frown.gif

If you can't explain how it works, you can't say it doesn't.—The High-End Creed

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post #24 of 183 Old 07-30-2012, 08:31 AM
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Damn. There goes my self-esteem. frown.gif

You had some??? Sheesh, I have kids.. eek.gif

I think they're mutually exclusive..

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post #25 of 183 Old 07-31-2012, 05:15 AM
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You had some??? Sheesh, I have kids.. eek.gif
I think they're mutually exclusive..
jn

One piece of hope I can give you is that generally the kids have more respect for you as they get older.

Parental respect is minimized like between say 8 and 20.

My oldest is 40 and he's got kids over 10 and guess what! ;-)
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post #26 of 183 Old 08-01-2012, 12:45 PM
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post #27 of 183 Old 08-01-2012, 06:55 PM
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My vote goes for the thread linked in my signature. I think just about everybody on the forum took a swing at trying to educate this guy. The first couple posts set the tone for the whole thread.
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post #28 of 183 Old 08-01-2012, 09:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DanLW View Post

My vote goes for the thread linked in my signature. I think just about everybody on the forum took a swing at trying to educate this guy. The first couple posts set the tone for the whole thread.
I'm at post 100, and need to take a break because I'm not sure whether to laugh, cry, facepalm, or all three.
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post #29 of 183 Old 08-01-2012, 11:32 PM
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post #30 of 183 Old 08-02-2012, 06:59 AM
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LOL, Speco! They're a fun bunch. Glad to see you're still around.

"I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone that someone is probably the last person you should ask." - Gregory House
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