Hilarious reviews of Audioquest wire - AVS Forum
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post #1 of 22 Old 04-02-2014, 02:08 PM - Thread Starter
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I haven't had this kind of chuckle about "audiophile" wire for a long time:

http://www.amazon.com/AudioQuest-Terminated-Speaker-Cable-Discontinued/dp/B000J36XR2/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
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post #2 of 22 Old 04-02-2014, 02:33 PM
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Very creative.
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post #3 of 22 Old 04-02-2014, 02:41 PM
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240 customer reviews... I hope they all didn't buy them.
However - $13,099.00

+ $6.49 shipping
Used - Like New
Bought less than a month ago and only used a handful of times. These are amazing cables and I ultimately regret having to get rid of them. They work like brand new. « Show less

THEY WORK LIKE BRAND NEW
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post #4 of 22 Old 04-02-2014, 02:47 PM
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LOL the reviews just keep on going.... Hilarious

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post #5 of 22 Old 04-07-2014, 12:07 PM
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I don't understand. What is the joke?
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post #6 of 22 Old 04-07-2014, 01:08 PM
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The joke is 13k for speaker wires that make no audible sound diff. The reviews are hilarious.

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post #7 of 22 Old 04-07-2014, 02:49 PM
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If you have to ask....
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post #8 of 22 Old 04-10-2014, 04:15 PM
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I auditioned these, but I still like my Krueger cables better.

Derogatory terms like "analog bigot", "digiphobe", "internet eggspurts" have nothing to do with electrical engineering.
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post #9 of 22 Old 04-10-2014, 05:10 PM
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I like my mono price speaker cables above all of em.
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post #10 of 22 Old 04-11-2014, 12:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PS3forlife View Post

The joke is 13k for speaker wires that make no audible sound diff.
But that's not a joke. That's an industry. biggrin.gif I wonder how many have tried ordering these cables. How about a block you lay across audio cable to soak up the distortion?
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post #11 of 22 Old 04-11-2014, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by TVOD View Post

But that's not a joke. That's an industry. biggrin.gif
It's both. tongue.gif
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post #12 of 22 Old 04-11-2014, 01:34 PM
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Originally Posted by RobertR View Post

It's both. tongue.gif
It's two! Two! Two mints in one! biggrin.gif
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post #13 of 22 Old 04-11-2014, 01:39 PM
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well this thread lasted 2 months and 143 posts (with some deletions) before the brakes were applied, tick tick tick for this one ...
http://www.avsforum.com/t/1505114/avs-endorsing-worlds-finest-in-ac-power-cords
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post #14 of 22 Old 04-11-2014, 02:13 PM
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Originally Posted by mtbdudex View Post

well this thread lasted 2 months and 143 posts (with some deletions) before the brakes were applied, tick tick tick for this one ...
http://www.avsforum.com/t/1505114/avs-endorsing-worlds-finest-in-ac-power-cords
Thread has been reopened and has nothing to do with this thread.
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post #15 of 22 Old 04-11-2014, 03:02 PM
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Ratman, thx for that statement...


Via Mikes brain/thumb interface, LLAP
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post #16 of 22 Old 04-11-2014, 03:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mtbdudex View Post

Ratman, thx for that statement...


Via Mikes brain/thumb interface, LLAP
Actually... I regret it now.rolleyes.gif
(other than it still has nothing to do with THIS thread)
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post #17 of 22 Old 04-11-2014, 03:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratman View Post

Actually... I regret it now.rolleyes.gif
(other than it still has nothing to do with THIS thread)
That could change ... Does AudioQuest also make power cables? If so perhaps one could get a 1% discount if they are bundled.
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post #18 of 22 Old 04-11-2014, 04:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TVOD View Post

That could change ... Does AudioQuest also make power cables? If so perhaps one could get a 1% discount if they are bundled.
Does your internet browser work?
http://www.audioquest.com/power-cables/
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post #19 of 22 Old 04-11-2014, 04:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratman View Post

Does your internet browser work?
http://www.audioquest.com/power-cables/
Internets Explored 3 works good for me. Their links seem cheaper than Amazon, those must not be as good.
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post #20 of 22 Old 04-11-2014, 04:45 PM
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Here is my favorite so far:

I waited for some time for these cables to be available through Amazon because the local stereo store that carries them sells at List price and they refused to give me a 4 day vacation at DR Nights, a Dominican Republic sex resort where I wanted to request Jaqueline as my first 24hr girl. Honestly, they were all for it until I specified my companion preference. I began to suspect that the shop owner had reviewed the site and developed a fantasy about Jaqueline. I don't know why he would care because she's only been a GFE for about a thousand guys.
Anyway, I cancelled my order with them and got so excited that I pressed the Order and Pay button on Amazon. When I got the tracking information post shipping, I realized I had made a terrible mistake and sent the fabulous AudioQuest K2 Terminated Speaker Cable to my ex-wife's home across the country in Florida. The address was set there because I had sent her some granny panties for Valentine's day. Anyway, I was fuming mad when I found out that Amazon could not do anything about the destination on the Free Super Saver shipping rate service.
Now, you see this is a problem because my ex is, shall we say a little peeved at not receiving my alimony payments for the last 12 months so how could I call her and get her to forward the cable to me? She would either throw it in the garbage or the fireplace. Since I couldn't stand to see this happen to my beautiful cables, I decided to drive across the country, my fear of flying overriding good judgment. I normally ride a Ducatti Multistrada but the thought of decimated testicles and hemorrhoids meant I wasn't up for that ride so I went down to the Volkswagon dealer and handed them my credit card and told them to ring up the fastest car they had available, all the while thinking that Amazon ships the Free Super Saver packages faster than a porn star puts on a condom. The handed me my receipt and walked me out to my new used car, a 2011 Bugatti Veyron. No refunds on used cars they said as my jaw dropped in disbelief.
Some maniacs in a Mercedes Benz ZL55 were across the street picking up a sponsor check for their attempt on the cross-country speed record and as they blasted out onto the highway I jumped on their tail. I followed those guys with their laser jammers and radar detectors for ten states until I realized I had better start going South toward Florida. They were quite expressive every time they saw me with finger waves and obscene gestures. They had a extra fuel tank and they had to drive with the windows open since the fumes were so strong and I could hear them yelling at me, Tell it to my ex, I mouthed. I had to stop for gas far more often but then the Veyron would catch up to them in about 90 seconds. Anyway, I slowed down to about 150 after that so as not to attract too much attention. That was almost idling in the Veyron and I kept forgetting to shift into 7th gear. I hit Orlando with a little rubber still on the tires and pulled up in front of my ex's house just as the UPS van rounded the corner. I grabbed the guy at the van with my ID in hand and signed for the package. My ex came out just as I activated the Launch control in the Veyron and I gave her a little finger wave. So now I'm in Florida and exhausted from no sleep for three days and I remember that they have excursion rate flights to the Dominican Republic. I knew I was going to pass out anyway so I booked the next flight. When I got out of the airplane, there was Jaqueline standing with a big sign with my name on it and an Island drink with flowers and umbrellas in it. She also brought a few other girls along that weren't apparently assigned to a visitor yet. I handed my AudioQuest K2 Terminated Speaker Cable box to Jaqueline (I wasn't going to leave the cables in the Veyron because I figured it would be stolen in about 30 minutes) and told her to protect it with her life so she took off her bikini top and wrapped it around the box. Then the other girls did the same and those cables were well cushioned. After my stay, Jacueline decided to come home with me. I don't speak Spanish but she kept saying "papá de azúcar" and I figured that meant she wanted to marry me. Amazingly the Veyron was still there and I figured she should drive since she couldn't get a ticket without a license but every time I fell asleep she would ease it up to 200 MPH and my ears would pop and wake me up. We got home and interesting enough the Veyron's GPS system had tracked the whole trip and it fired off an OnStar message to the Guiness Book of Records and we got the record for going the North to South route. Damn Veyron thinks of everything. I sold the Veyron, making a profit due to its record holding status. As I sat down in my listening room with the box in my lap containing the K2's, Jaqueline started to rub my neck and whispered in my ear, "Creo que estoy embarazada". Yah baby, it is about time we put these bad boys to work. I swapped out my old Coincidence cables and in went the K's. Holy crap, they sounded "Oh my God" awful. I took them out and called Amazon for return authorization. So, I got my money back, made a profit on the Bugatti that paid for the whole trip and now I have to go because Jaqueline needs some company in the shower.
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post #21 of 22 Old 05-02-2014, 07:43 PM
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Lol veyron audioquest alimony story

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post #22 of 22 Old 05-08-2014, 07:29 AM
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I should clone these and sell them at a reduced price at amazon for a few thousand a pop. But then I would feel bad about it.

I wish I was not so honest and ethical sometimes.

Some of the short and sweet:
Quote:
My cats chewed on this cable and now they can both speak. One of them is gay and the other wants to kill me. I would have rather not known.
Quote:
Even when I buffered the lightning down to a few thousand volts, these cables burned out before revivification could take place. Worse, while wasting time with these the body began to putrify; now I have to go out and dig up fresh materials and spend all that time stitching them together again.
Quote:
Using these cables, and only using these cables, I was finally able to hear an auditory gem that has been long rumored among music connaisseurs - Aretha Franklin's stress-fart just prior to her high A in her recording of "You're All I Need to Get By".
Quote:
To my dismay, I found that this cable was not quite long enough to reach my speaker. The only solution was to cut them in half and splice a length of doorbell cable in the middle to add another few metres. However, it is a testament to the quality of these cables that the sound quality is still great! Thanks Audioquest!
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I was very disappointed in these cables. For this kind of money I expect a blue LED light up feature. Every other component of my stereo features many blinking blue LED's, but these cables have no LED's at all. I had to return these cables.

pure lulz.

Lol. Just lol.

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