Do You Consider the Spouse-Acceptance Factor in Your Home Theater? - Page 2 - AVS Forum | Home Theater Discussions And Reviews
View Poll Results: Do You Consider the Spouse-Acceptance Factor in Your Home Theater?
Yes, I compromise for the sake of domestic tranquility 362 40.49%
No, my spouse does not limit what I can do in that room 338 37.81%
No, I do what I want in that room no matter what my spouse says 82 9.17%
No, I have no spouse 112 12.53%
Voters: 894. You may not vote on this poll

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post #31 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 04:38 PM
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Due to having to move several times, I've had the opportunity to try this (build an HT) three times in the past decade.

The first two times, I tried 'media rooms' so I could justify the cost of the equipment: "we'll use it every day, honey!" But the sound was compromised, and there was no effective light control.

In my latest (final??) house, I bought it with a plan to take over a healthy portion of the basement (I passed on several house layouts because I couldn't envision a functional, symmetrical-shaped theater room). There is no better way for the DIY theater builder: if I want to keep 2x4's and rock-wool insulation laying around for a month, nobody complains. If I want to paint everything black, nobody else gets to vote. My wife knows this is my hobby, and now that I have separated it from our daily living space, we both breathe a sigh of relief. And I could never put 14 speakers, multiple 18" subs, or a 125" screen in our Family Room!!!

However, I now must buy all the equipment from my own separate 'fun-money' fund, which takes some time to grow. So upgrades require budgeting. I'm glad I was able to buy my first plasma in 2004 from the 'general fund' ($4500 for a 50" 720p).

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post #32 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 04:56 PM
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post #33 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 05:18 PM
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I have a dog, as long as I give him his treats I can do whatever I want with the home theater room.
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post #34 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 05:23 PM
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While I do consider the Wife Acceptance Factor, the basement is mine, and the rest is hers. Every major purchase is discussed, and we must both approve it. That being said, my wife is completely supportive (within reason) of my addiction, and even puts up with my COCD (Collector's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). She even prepares refreshments for my COCD Anonymous group (the meetings are quite short... leaves more time for a movie...)

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post #35 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 05:38 PM
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If she gets what she wants in the kitchen and bathrooms, then I get to do what I want wherever electronics are involved.
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post #36 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 07:19 PM
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It's my way or the highway, period! She gets what she wants in other areas of the house.
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post #37 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 08:03 PM
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You don't have all the right choices yet. I do "consider" what she wants but only implement what I want. Your only yes choice says I compromise, but I don't. :-) Her suggestions for something different were better than mine. So far that's only the color of the room.

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post #38 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 08:03 PM
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The WAF now only deals with how much it costs and not how it looks in the media room (my domain!).
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post #39 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 08:20 PM - Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roxiedog13 View Post
Now Scott, you did say spouse yet the picture is of a very attractive young lady. Am I too assume only men are the theater owners and the spouse is a woman ?
Well, it was actually quite difficult to find a graphic that would go well with this poll; that's the best one I could find at a reasonable size—and even then, the aspect ratio was not right, so I had to pad the top and bottom. Yes, it does feed into the stereotype that I try to avoid, but I had to go with what I could find. Oh well...
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post #40 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 09:35 PM
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thinking about audio equipment too much... nature or nurture?

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post #41 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 09:40 PM
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I dont have a spouse however a condition with anyone I date, is that I will have a theater room and I will do what I like in that room, everything else in the home is negotiable lol.

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post #42 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 10:34 PM
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Happily single here. I do what (and who) I want, when I want.
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post #43 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 11:02 PM
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I live in a modest sized home and started my Home theater journey with a 40" Sony HD crt and a 5.1 sound system.I did most of my movie watching in the evenings after work and dinner.My wife did not appreciate the sound level and the LFE so we both were not happy with the arrangement.When our little rental unit became available(separate building about 100' from the house) she encouraged me to move the HT gear there so that she would not hear it and I could listen to music and movies unconstrained.Now my HT is a very Spartan flat black(walls,ceiling) with dark red carpeting and blackout curtains and black sound treatment in a 7.2/front projection configuration.We are now both very happy....when momma's happy Everybody Is Happy!!
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post #44 of 194 Old 02-13-2015, 11:47 PM
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No... **However**:

I go to great lengths to involve her in all discussions, ideas, and input and carefully craft options to provide the illusion that most of it is her idea. For example the other day she told the BB rep that she thought the LG OLED display had superior color and contrast to the other displays in the store....

I couldn't be more proud!
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post #45 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 12:53 AM
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Earth Quakes destroyed the house 4 1/2 years ago...we move into new house within weeks, she got the bedrooms, bathrooms, living rooms and the kitchen.......but I have my precious all to myself.....
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post #46 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 04:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott Wilkinson View Post
Well, it was actually quite difficult to find a graphic that would go well with this poll; that's the best one I could find at a reasonable size—and even then, the aspect ratio was not right, so I had to pad the top and bottom. Yes, it does feed into the stereotype that I try to avoid, but I had to go with what I could find. Oh well...

I think the clear reality is nearly 100% of the theater builders on this forum are male, not that it matters either way, just a undeniable fact, not stereotyping at all. I was just being the devils advocate, besides, that young lady is probably not the typical wife either, in-fact I thought first it looked exactly like my daughter. If she is the typical wife I am probably not the typical spouse.
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post #47 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 05:03 AM
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Some stereotypes are simply true. Possibly a biological basis for it at some level. It's not as if plenty of women don't have access to a stereo...

Most guys like girls ... Stereotype? No, just a fact.

Anytime you try to claim that humans are constrained by their biology, people think you are some sort of bigot or racist or some such nonsense.

I don't have the hearing of a dog and almost no other human does. Do all human have the same hearing, no... Do your see people calling eachother names based ln that fact? Not really. Perhaps because we are all so similar in this regard? Dog's certainly might be right to stereotype humans as having crappy hearing...would they be wrong?

As soon as you say someone MIGHT be limited or affected by their biology, people freak because they think their potential is limitless. They don't like anyone suggesting otherwise (at least about traits that they care about). People take their cognition "too personally".

If you ask someone if they can memorize 100 digits in a row... They say no... But they don't feel any dumber because they can't. They will claim that that is "normal". It is weird how folks concede they are not that smart in some areas but that they may have limitless potential in others "just because".

When you point out that MAYBE men in general MIGHT be prone to "audiophile tendencies" or any other behavioural trait... Folks start qualifying their remarks so they aren't judged to be sexist.

At the same time, my wife will admit that most women don't really give a crap about our crazy obsessive hobbies.

For weird obsessive hobbies, men take the CAKE... It's a good thing that women may be different or we would live in a world full of lunatics.

Perhaps marketing speakers to women has been a collossal failure of marketing and culture. Perhaps women don't have enough disposable income. Perhaps too many episodes of cosmo or dora the explorer rotted their brain.

Or maybe women just simply think about acoustics with less concern. And therefore can focus on more imprtant things in life.

How do we know that we didn't evolve the way we did for a reason? If hearing mattered so much, why don't we have hearing superior to dogs?

Just because we are different or even less capable in one are or another doesn't mean you have to get all worked up about it. Admit that you have your flaws... My hearing is not as good as a dog... And then move on to discover what you ARE good at... Perhaps quantum mechanics.

At a job interview, why do they ask what your "weaknesses" are? It is a test of your maturity. You can only know your weaknesses if you have sufficiently tested yourself. If you have no weaknesses to recall, you aren't worth hiring. "I'm perfect in every way"... Won't get you hired ... They will know you are prone to hubris or perhaps just lying.

On the other hand there have been some studies that verify that stereotyping does have a self fulfilling prophecy effect and might limit some people more than they otherwise would be...
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post #48 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 05:18 AM
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Originally Posted by JimShaw View Post
My wife and I have an agreement for the TV room.

I can do and spend as much as I want as long has it is hidden. She has 23-28 women over once a week in the room and she likes the room clean looking

That's why I have 8 in-ceiling speakers, 2 mid woofers hidden in front and 1 SVS PB Ultra-13 that is also well hidden.

Everyone in my house hold is happy

Below is the SVS



Very good sir, very good indeed. I have a PB13 Ultra in plain sight in our room, and people always think it's an end table, lol. Then I show them the woofer and they are blown away - pun intended.

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post #49 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 06:37 AM
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My buddy, has a home with high vaulted ceilings- and a very odd shape room. The wife has the TV in a corner, sub next to it, and on the wall (imagine an L shape room)- tv in the lower L section, with F-C-L up over a huge sliding door to the deck, with big windows above, on the vertical part of the L, and surrounds on the opposite wall. We have told him the center should be close to the TV above or below, he says" That's what I've been told" and gets scared!!!
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post #50 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 07:18 AM
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While I certainly go for domestic tranquility in this case, this is largely because my home theatre room is also my family room. It is out there where everyone in the house sees it - all the time. If I had a dedicated HT room, then my wife would be perfectly happy to let me put the ugliest components in, as long as we have the lights off in there most of the time ;-)
Anyway - I don't think that the poll is all that revealing in its current form. It needs two more choices (albeit with better wording...)

1) "I have a dedicated home theatre room and I do not have to compromise with my wife for aesthetics."
2) "I do NOT have a dedicated home theatre room and I do not have to compromise with my wife for aesthetics."
3) "I have a dedicated home theatre room and I compromise with my wife for aesthetics."
4) "I do NOT have a dedicated home theatre room and I do not have to compromise with my wife for aesthetics."
etc.

My guess is that #4 would have a very small population indeed.
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post #51 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 07:28 AM
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Since going to a dedicated theater aesthetics don't matter much. My wife gives me feedback but the ultimate decision is mine. Discussion of price is something that comes up more often.
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My Theater: The Ugly Theater
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post #52 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 08:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chirpie View Post
I'm pickier about the aesthetics of my room than my wife, which makes this a non-issue for me.

Now if this ALSO includes how expensive something is, well, yeah I talk to her first. Heck, if she spent a few thousand bucks without asking me, I'd be pissed.
Same here. It has to meet my acceptance (MAF )
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post #53 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 08:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LairdWilliams View Post
While I certainly go for domestic tranquility in this case, this is largely because my home theatre room is also my family room. It is out there where everyone in the house sees it - all the time. If I had a dedicated HT room, then my wife would be perfectly happy to let me put the ugliest components in, as long as we have the lights off in there most of the time ;-)
Anyway - I don't think that the poll is all that revealing in its current form. It needs two more choices (albeit with better wording...)

1) "I have a dedicated home theatre room and I do not have to compromise with my wife for aesthetics."
2) "I do NOT have a dedicated home theatre room and I do not have to compromise with my wife for aesthetics."
3) "I have a dedicated home theatre room and I compromise with my wife for aesthetics."
4) "I do NOT have a dedicated home theatre room and I do not have to compromise with my wife for aesthetics."
etc.

My guess is that #4 would have a very small population indeed.

#4 applies to me. I'm the pickier one....

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post #54 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 08:14 AM
 
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I'm not married but might be sometime soon We'll see. But I picked I compromise choice anyway.

I guess I'm lucky in that my girl and I aesthetically both seem to like classy yet understated things, and similar colors (nothing garish or tacky), and she is also is a big fan of the theater room with my benq projector where we spend a lot of time. One big thing we compromised on was the seating distance to the screen, her eyes get tired easily when we're too close to the massive 138 inch projected image, so I just put the couch far enough back so that it's still immersive but not "nose bleed" levels.

Since the place is mine I obviously have final say but I do ask her which pieces of gear she likes best too. E.g. when I was considering B&W 600 s2 speakers, the white cabs looked really classy, so I was thinking of going with them, but then again, now that I found a good price / performance value in my JBL 308s which only come in black, she says she likes those too (no grills and big 8 inch woofers = "classy" enough for me!! hahah j/k). I do take her opinion into account because I actually care what she thinks and value her judgment too, not to avoid any arguments.

As for money, well sometimes I am a little short after I splurge from time to time on gear, but I'm thrifty, so I definitely value getting the best bang / buck and keep the rest of the cash for order in-sushi and getting her Blurays/whatever else that she likes (and lots of flowers!)
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post #55 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 08:41 AM
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My theater is on my main living room, and we both like it that way. She is mostly worried about the cost when it comes to HT purchases and even when she doesn't like something she's over it quickly. I have two SVS cylinders On either side of the TV so their front and center in the room. (I get the occasional "what are THOSE" from people) the only thing she insisted on was that all the speakers are black. She also insisted I got rid of the bookshelf speakers I had in the front cause she likes tower speakers better, I had no argument with that. The only upgrade she absolutely loathed was when I put two Polk OWM3's on the ceiling as surround backs, she actually cried a little when she saw them. But now she doesn't even notice them, and neither does anyone else unless I point them out. We both agree that our next home will have a dedicated space. I do have a room in the basement right now that is mine to do as I please with but that's where my drum set lives.
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post #56 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 08:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blazar View Post
Some stereotypes are simply true ... for weird obsessive hobbies, men take the CAKE...
Great post, but listen, the inhabitants of Venus have got their weird obsessive hobbies too. They're just different weird obsessive hobbies. And the marketeers have figured it out. I've got a running joke with my wife about the "Free Gift" thing that absolutely every manufacturer in the cosmetics industry uses. Get a free gift if you buy $100 worth of the latest make up! We've got piles of free, crappy little gifts, if anybody needs one. Then the facials. The mani / pedis. And the shoes. OMG the shoes. What's the average wife to husband shoe ratio, like 50 to 1? I could go on. It's all fun and it's all good, but we ain't got the market cornered on weird obsessive hobbies.
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post #57 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 09:36 AM
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Even though I have a dedicated HT room, as it IS it's primary function, I can still only go so far. It still must function as a social space for the few times a year it needs to be used as such. Hence no black walls or ceilings.

Louder is NOT better!
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post #58 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 09:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mogrub View Post
Great post, but listen, the inhabitants of Venus have got their weird obsessive hobbies too. They're just different weird obsessive hobbies. And the marketeers have figured it out. I've got a running joke with my wife about the "Free Gift" thing that absolutely every manufacturer in the cosmetics industry uses. Get a free gift if you buy $100 worth of the latest make up! We've got piles of free, crappy little gifts, if anybody needs one. Then the facials. The mani / pedis. And the shoes. OMG the shoes. What's the average wife to husband shoe ratio, like 50 to 1? I could go on. It's all fun and it's all good, but we ain't got the market cornered on weird obsessive hobbies.
Two weird obsessive hobbies come immediately to mind, at least in my household, shoes and handbags.

Louder is NOT better!
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post #59 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 09:45 AM
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Picking not limited in the poll.
The HT gear is in the family room.
My wife and I certainly discuss things and her opinion matters to me.
Fifteen years ago (shortly after we married, I am a retreaded hubby) she wanted me to replace my 70's era stereo speakers.
I was not too keen on that idea so I took a risk and I brought home a Bose system.
I immediately hooked it up and put on some Bon Jovie (her fav band), after a few minutes she wants to hear Def Leppard (2nd fav band) a couple minutes later she tells me it doesn't sound as good as the old speakers and she doesn't want to spend money and go backwards, I box up the Bose and return it, never heard another word about replacing those speakers.
Ten years later I want to replace them, her input was....if you are going to spend money on speakers to make sure the new ones sound better than the old ones.
Hello Klipsch RF-83's.
When we were picking the first HD TV I had to do some real convincing to get get a 56" TV and I must admit it looked like a monster when it was first sitting in the living room, when that DLP broke and I determined it was just as cost effective to replace it vs fix it, she asked how big of a TV will fit between the speakers....hello 60" TV.
So yes I care what she thinks, but she pretty much is on board when it comes to this kind of toys.
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Regards,
Charlie

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post #60 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 09:53 AM
 
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When we bought our house, we agreed what rooms were for my use and what rooms she could have. Home Theater is 100% my choice, and I can do whatever i like in it.
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