Do You Consider the Spouse-Acceptance Factor in Your Home Theater? - Page 3 - AVS Forum | Home Theater Discussions And Reviews
View Poll Results: Do You Consider the Spouse-Acceptance Factor in Your Home Theater?
Yes, I compromise for the sake of domestic tranquility 362 40.58%
No, my spouse does not limit what I can do in that room 338 37.89%
No, I do what I want in that room no matter what my spouse says 81 9.08%
No, I have no spouse 111 12.44%
Voters: 892. You may not vote on this poll

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post #61 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 10:19 AM
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Since my wife has financed at least 75% of my gear, globally worth around 40,000$ adjusted for 2014 dollars, (she's the full-time worker with a good paying job, I'm the part-time worker who mostly works from home so I can be home for the kids). The only "limit" is on cost--and even then, only on a purchase that costs 2000$ or more in one swoop (the limit is the need for discussion, not a hard cost ceiling). Otherwise, the room is mine (she called it a "man-cave" long before I'd ever heard the term or read about it). In part, it represents the bargain struck when I chose to resign from my former full-time career in order to be the primary stay at home parent. Had to have something to fill the time when the infants were sleeping (not infants anymore--the deal began in 2002).

The other "cost" is we wait to replace the now 12 year old Sony 32" SD CRT in the living room until it stops functioning ("You want to watch something in hi-def, go down to your "cave". This TV looks just as great as when it was new." [true, by the way--as far as SDTVs go, never had cause for complaint with this one]). My wife simply doesn't care about any of it--audio or video. She'd be happy with a 13" SD CRT, a VHS machine and a clock radio for music. But she understands I care and doesn't get in the way (it helps I never propose purchases beyond what we can reasonably afford).
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post #62 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 10:21 AM
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Do You Consider the Spouse-Acceptance Factor in Your Home Theater?

When I had a dedicated theater room, she knew it was MY TERRITORY, so unless if it was a praise, she knew not to say anything hahahaha

Now that we moved out and are currently using our family room as our home theater as well, I have to let her chime in.


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post #63 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 10:24 AM
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My girlfriend thinks it is insane that I have a fully blacked out dedicated room. Seriously considering a new girlfriend. lol
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post #64 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 11:18 AM
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I have to vote for "none of the above" When I told my wife that I was thinking about purchasing an Emotiva XMC-1, she said, "Can we order it today? I can't wait to hear what it sounds like!"

Obviously, I married the right lady!
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post #65 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 11:34 AM
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I am not married or attached at the moment. My basement home theater with 110" acoustically transparent screen is totally blacked out with black velvet ceiling and walls. The emphasis has been on picture and sound quality above all. When I had a couple of parties last summer, two of the most enthusiastic comments were from the women. While watching a movie with a decent sound track, one friend's wife turned to another and said "This is freaking awesome!" At another party while watching the movie Frozen, a friend's girlfriend turned to me and said "I want a room like this." Of course alcohol was involved.
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post #66 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 01:50 PM
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I find these types of questions illuminating.

Maybe it's a generational thing - male boomers and older having generally a more "command and control" authoritarian mindset, younger people being more civilized about gender equality just because they've been with women throughout their schooling and professional lives - but I simply cannot fathom any way of doing things except for active collaboration with my wife. Ultimately, we both have the same goals - good sound in a room that flows well and is pleasing to the eye, all at a price we can afford and with reasonable care to minimize safety hazards. (I don't have, and have no interest in, a dedicate theater or even listening room. My experience is that if it's not in the primary living room or my office, it doesn't get used enough to be worth the time/expense.)

True, the relative worth of each of those goals may differ between us, but that's why we collaborate. I worked with my wife to determine both the shape and the finish of my speakers, placement of surrounds, etc. So we both win.

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post #67 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 03:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teckademic View Post
Before i had a dedicated room, we had an agreement that the living room was mine to do with what I please, no limits and the rest of house was hers.

LOL
I did the same


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post #68 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 07:55 PM
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I claimed the basement and the garage--she has the rest of the house. She capped the theater budget and let me do what I wanted until I ran out of funds. If I eventually do a build thread, it will be called the "Not A Penny More Home Theater".
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post #69 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 09:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by djb61230 View Post
I'm getting divorced. Next theater I guess I get to do what I want.
Unless she has a good lawyer.
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post #70 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 11:13 PM
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It's really nice having a dedicated room, even if small. When I first mentioned I would paint the room totally black, my wife didn't like the idea, but said it was fine. Then I added a lot of acoustical treatment, again she wondered about it. But when all was said and done, she loves the room. She even refers to it as a 'Peaceful Room' because it's very quiet, dark and relaxing in there (until the equipment is fired up and we're watching something - then she really likes it). In fact, we painted our sons room totally black (turned it into a planetarium) and it's pretty awesome.

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post #71 of 194 Old 02-14-2015, 11:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DS-21 View Post
I find these types of questions illuminating.

Maybe it's a generational thing - male boomers and older having generally a more "command and control" authoritarian mindset, younger people being more civilized about gender equality just because they've been with women throughout their schooling and professional lives - but I simply cannot fathom any way of doing things except for active collaboration with my wife.
well, I'm 32 and been with my wife since high school. Thing is, she met me this way and understands my passion for home theater. In the beginning, she didn't get what was the big deal, but through time, she learned to appreciate "the art of sound, " as she likes to call it. The only thing we ever discuss is budget and I never purchase anything without letting her know first, but other than that, I had full control of what I did in the living room and now that it's in a dedicated room, she has her living room back to do what she pleases.
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post #72 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 12:21 AM
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I said "no" in the poll, but I guess there should be a "within reason" caveat to my vote. We live in an apartment, and my home theatre setup predated our relationship (she moved in when we got married). But, she is a big film and TV fan, and I sometimes joke that she was interested in me *because* of the home theatre...

Anyway, I suppose it will be slightly different if we buy a house and need to compromise on space issues, but for now in the apartment any improvements made to the living room home theatre are always appreciated by the missus as long as budgets are being followed.
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post #73 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 04:26 AM
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our dedicated ht is mine to the extent that i am mostly deciding on the build and design but I do ask her opinion on a few things as the entire family has to enjoy it. I am toss design elements out there if i am not the fence and she is great and saying if she thinks it would work or not. the only other constraint is budget - that is something we are both on the same page about - so with each stage of the build i take my time and consider the costs before i jump in - no bat cave with hidden doors for multiple svs subs but i am fine with that as it would not fall in line with our budget.
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post #74 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 05:43 AM
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Since my movie theater room doubles as a video taping room for musicians to do music videos, I have the say there. An adjoining room, which is a bar/game room, we are both in on the design.


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post #75 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 06:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LairdWilliams View Post
While I certainly go for domestic tranquility in this case, this is largely because my home theatre room is also my family room. It is out there where everyone in the house sees it - all the time. If I had a dedicated HT room, then my wife would be perfectly happy to let me put the ugliest components in, as long as we have the lights off in there most of the time ;-)
Anyway - I don't think that the poll is all that revealing in its current form. It needs two more choices (albeit with better wording...)

1) "I have a dedicated home theatre room and I do not have to compromise with my wife for aesthetics."
2) "I do NOT have a dedicated home theatre room and I do not have to compromise with my wife for aesthetics."
3) "I have a dedicated home theatre room and I compromise with my wife for aesthetics."
4) "I do NOT have a dedicated home theatre room and I do not have to compromise with my wife for aesthetics."
etc.

My guess is that #4 would have a very small population indeed.
I strongly agree with this statement. Before reaching this post, I had already concluded that the premise was A): Either weak because it assumes that everyone has a dedicated theater, or B); That only those who have a dedicated theater would respond and the rest of us would whose HT space was in a common room such as a family room or living room would not participate in the poll.

So the poll as currently constructed is a false choice. I think LairdWilliams is correct in his assertion that that those who do not have a dedicated home theater and do not compromise on aesthetics with their S.O. is a small population indeed.

In my previous residence, we had a nice large dedicated room. I would take my wife's suggestions into account but ultimately, I made the final decisions. We also had a living room that was all hers (meaning no audio equipment), and a family room with a second system reflecting our cooperation.

We have downsized considerably in our current home. We now have a family room or a living room - call it what you want - but it is the focal point of the house when you walk in the front door and I have made some compromises. I am fortunate to have a pretty understanding wife. Besides, I have never bought into the notion that its only the sound that matters. I insist on a certain level of visual appeal along with performance. The weakest link in that chain, visually speaking, are my speakers. I love their sound so they are staying for the time being but eventually I will replace them with speakers whose form and function meet in a happy place.

Last edited by finsup; 02-15-2015 at 06:14 AM.
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post #76 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 07:17 AM
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6 TVs in the house - one for me, the rest for the wife for her various work areas. Usually I get the new one, then used ones get shuffled about the house. Wife only chimes in for $1000 towards my new one, as a Christmas present she doesn't have to wrap. Plus, she gets my cast off installed into her loft. She did get a new curved 4K for her bedroom this Christmas, and she replaced the 32" over the fireplace with another 32" Smart TV. Guest bedroom where all her relatives stay, has been the last spot in the house, before out the door. (Gone from 32", to 40", to 42" and currently a 55" - on the dresser - looks like a drive in theatre) Getting hard to get sell off the old ones now days. 32" and 42" sitting on the floor.
Age span of the TVs 2014 down to 2009.
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post #77 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 08:22 AM
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Couldn't vote..........none of the options applied.

Been married for 29 years and my beautiful, intelligent wife has been my co-pilot in most endeavors.

Together, we set out home parameters.................she decorates her priorities in home...........I do same in mine. Our latest building project involved a dedicated home theater and dedicated home quilting area!

She designed her quilting room, I designed home theater. When my beautiful wife saw expenditures for theater.............she began to shed a few tears wondering why so much money was going into theater.

Being quick witted...............suggested to her I was being real frugal with theater expenses since I planned on HER designing HER very own "dream" kitchen. Put a stop to tears..............and never again heard her overspending concerns.

Worked like a charm!!!!!!
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post #78 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 09:55 AM
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My wife is very supportive. When we built our house, I proposed that I get the basement, and she can have the other floors. She agreed. So, thankfully, I don't have any restrictions on the surface.....but there is another layer...

Money for home theater can be going somewhere else, and that can cause issues sometimes. Do I spend $X dollars on a new processor, or do I book a vacation to Hawaii for two weeks? My wife loves to travel, so these are the things that cause tension at times.

So.....there's no real way out of the WAF--if it's not aesthetics, it's other issues. Keep this in mind, folks.

---From a newlywed
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post #79 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 12:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mogrub View Post
I've got a running joke with my wife about the "Free Gift" thing that absolutely every manufacturer in the cosmetics industry uses. Get a free gift if you buy $100 worth of the latest make up!
Thats funny... the wife and I went to the mall yesterday just to get out of the house and get a little exercise. We go running into Macy's where she said, "I need some foundation, but lets see if they have any free gifts" Upon finding none, we left and went to BB to look at new displays....
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post #80 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 02:40 PM
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100% my choice... as long as I choose correctly.
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post #81 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 03:10 PM
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I almost voted "No, my spouse does not limit what I can do in that room", but - and this is HUGE, the budget is the only real factor.

I'm around $35k into HT unique costs since 2008, and every 2-3 years seem to "upgrade", so I have to mind the family budget for those upgrades. She's ok with my DIY efforts, as they are $500 here, or even $1k there, but when 2016 late comes and I go for 4k UHDTV upgrade then I will need to compromise ... or wait till the gear I desire fits our price point.

So, I voted "yes ....."
Quote:
Yes, I compromise for the sake of domestic tranquility 157 36.01%
No, my spouse does not limit what I can do in that room 175 40.14%
No, I do what I want in that room no matter what my spouse says 45 10.32%
No, I have no spouse 59 13.53%
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post #82 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 03:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliRaftDude View Post
No... **However**:

I go to great lengths to involve her in all discussions, ideas, and input and carefully craft options to provide the illusion that most of it is her idea. For example the other day she told the BB rep that she thought the LG OLED display had superior color and contrast to the other displays in the store....

I couldn't be more proud!
So you use the dream machine?
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post #83 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 05:31 PM
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I have surround systems with each of our four TV's. I able to do what I want with my man cave and secondary system. However where my wife does most of her TV/ movie watching I have made compromises. Since I rarely use those areas it's not a problem. Although the monies I've spent have been subjects for discussion.
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post #84 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 06:57 PM
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I don't think my wife would have objected to what i purchased as long as it sounded good :-)
Having said that I did not get a chance to test her limits because I ended up getting some excellent Orb speakers which also happened to have a high WAF score.
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post #85 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 09:13 PM
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I have a dedicated ht/2 channel room that is mine to do with as I please. It is wall to wall equipment and it is fantastic. My wife has always been totally fine with my man cave and I love her all the more for it.

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post #86 of 194 Old 02-15-2015, 09:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliRaftDude View Post
Thats funny... the wife and I went to the mall yesterday ... where she said, "I need some foundation, but lets see if they have any free gifts" Upon finding none, we left and went to BB to look at new displays....
Any shopping trip that ends up at BB is a good one. 👍


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post #87 of 194 Old 02-16-2015, 03:01 AM
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I have a dedicated HT room as well but I do discuss/agree things with the wife first and things are working out just fine.

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post #88 of 194 Old 02-16-2015, 06:36 AM
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How many ladies answered here? Zero?


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post #89 of 194 Old 02-16-2015, 06:50 AM
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The wife allowed me to chose the set up. She seen how my HT living room looked before we moved in together and trusted I'd do a good job. Since I do not have a dedicated HT room I tried to make sure all of the gear looks good and professional in our new living room. She was very happy with the end result and enjoys everything about as much as I do.

Maybe some day I'll be able to get my own HT room, then it will be game on!!
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post #90 of 194 Old 02-16-2015, 07:37 AM
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Ok, enough political correctness. SPOUSE acceptance factor?
IT IS WIFE ACCEPTANCE FACTOR.

Show me a MAN that would complain about his wife wanting to install a kick ass home theater and well, hell, just show me one, they don't exist!
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