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View Poll Results: Do You Consider the Spouse-Acceptance Factor in Your Home Theater?
Yes, I compromise for the sake of domestic tranquility 340 40.43%
No, my spouse does not limit what I can do in that room 320 38.05%
No, I do what I want in that room no matter what my spouse says 79 9.39%
No, I have no spouse 102 12.13%
Voters: 841. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-13-2015, 12:52 PM - Thread Starter
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Do You Consider the Spouse-Acceptance Factor in Your Home Theater?

Some AV enthusiasts must take their spouse's aesthetic wishes into account in their home theater. Are you among them?

Those of us who enjoy the audio/video hobby have heard the term "wife-acceptance factor" (WAF), which arises from the fact that the vast majority of AV enthusiasts are men who must sometimes obtain aesthetic approval from their less-interested wives to purchase and install gear in their home. I prefer the term "spouse-acceptance factor" (SAF) because it's more general and applies to the wider variety of life partnerships that are possible today.

Do you need to consider the spouse-acceptance factor in your home theater? If you have no spouse, the answer is obvious. But if you do—be it a legal marriage or domestic partnership of any sort—does your spouse/partner place aesthetic limits on what you can do in that room? If so, what are those limits? Do you abide by the limits, or do you ignore them?

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Old 02-13-2015, 01:12 PM
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Before i had a dedicated room, we had an agreement that the living room was mine to do with what I please, no limits and the rest of house was hers.
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Old 02-13-2015, 01:21 PM
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I have a dedicated room for my HT and it is completely mine, she has the rest of the house. When I decided to paint the ceiling dark gun metal gray she was completely against it but I did it any way, after it was done see said it looks nice I like it. I have been married to her for almost 40 years.

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Old 02-13-2015, 01:27 PM
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We we had the theater in the Family Room, I did compromise. I am a big believer in the statement, "Happy Wife, Happy Life".

Now that I have a dedicated room, I have can what I want to my hearts content. She never would have let me put all the statues or decorations I now have in the Theater Room! In fact, I need to add another shelf so I can buy some more Star Trek ships to display!
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Old 02-13-2015, 01:34 PM
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I have a dedicated home theater room that is completely enclosed and is fully 100% a home theater. The only thing my wife and I had to agree on was price to complete the theater. I was able to pick out everything from equipment to color to where everything would be placed. Obviously cost was very important for her and we compromised and came to a price point we could both live with. She loves watching her favorite TV shows and movies in there.
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Old 02-13-2015, 01:35 PM
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I voted no she lets me do what I want. But really there's a limit to that. I have speaker equipment all over the house, she's extremely understanding. But I couldn't build my dream subwoofer system without causing her to complain. I have 6 12" subs right now and adding dual 18s would probably cause a bit of an issue. But my "room" is also a shared basement / play area for the kids.
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Old 02-13-2015, 01:42 PM
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Now Scott, you did say spouse yet the picture is of a very attractive young lady. Am I too assume only men are the theater owners and the spouse is a woman ?

O.k., just trying to stir up the honey-to-do pot , sorry, but I believe you started it .

In my case, my spouse was on board 100%, we watch movies together most of the time, so it was no battle when I decided to go from a make shift recreational room to a full on
dedicated theater. I had two thumbs way up and had full control of the design, color scheme, carpet furniture and so on. We were doing a whole home renovation anyway, I believe
giving me the reins on the theater kept me busy enough to stay out of the decision making process for the rest of the home. In all honesty, we worked together on everything, most
of the items we mutually agreed on anyway, so that made it easy.

Now, to answer the question, I do consider the spouse acceptance factor and I'm lucky to have one 100% on board. As the saying goes guys, "happy wife happy life." or else!
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Old 02-13-2015, 01:50 PM
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My wife and I work in tandem, every step has been in agreement and there are times when she says to get two when I plan on one (subs, I eventually got the second ) Man I love that girl
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Old 02-13-2015, 01:50 PM
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Each room should have a purpose. To me the 'family room' or 'great room' shouldn't look like a theater. When I lived in an apartment I tried to be very careful to balance my love for good picture and sound with the realities of my space. Being in an apartment also meant I more often than not couldn't play movies or music at loud levels. The solution was to spend the majority of my budget on a display, outfit it with a modest sound system that could perform double duty for two channel music and get some really nice headphones for after hours 'reference' level movie watching.
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Old 02-13-2015, 01:51 PM
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I would have made a "bat cave" black room, but I'm going with all neutral colors for her interests.
Other than that I have full control and show her my updated sketchup layouts.
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Old 02-13-2015, 01:58 PM
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I just recently got married in December. Been with her for 6 years coming up in May. She knows my passion for this hobby, and that we are in agreement that a basement or a spare bedroom for a dedicated theater/gaming room is a must have in our search for our first house. She gets the rest of the house. We will agree on budget limits as well. She knows its not going to be a sprint, but a journey to get the room how I want it with the gear I want.

To answer the question: No. I don't have to contend with WAF since I will have my own space. Its fantastic that she's on board. I feel lucky. If she was totally against it, I don't think I could've married her. Its all about compromise, and we both give and take. One dedicated room vs the rest of the house? I think that's fair enough

Edit: She even let slip that she was going to get me an SVS gift card for Valentines Day that I can put toward my dual PB 13 Ultras that I want. Were just starting to save for our house, so I told her she can wait on that. Just dinner and maybe a movie is all were doing tomm. I got a good one like many of us here do!

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Old 02-13-2015, 02:02 PM
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I had a hard time choosing between the first two options. Because frankly I can't imagine there ever being a disagreement. The theater's entire reason for existing is to maximize the playback experience. With a focus so narrow, there's little cause for performance to get traded for aesthetics. (Plenty of cause to make tradeoffs between aspects of performance or for cost, but that's not the topic.) I happen to be the more knowledgeable of the two of us on how to maximize that performance, so I pretty much make all the decisions. Unless she disagreed with me on what would make it look or sound better, I can't imaging a disagreement ever coming up.

To me that's what makes a theater so much fun. It's just like a garage. It's all about function. Other rooms in the house are not focused on a singular purpose. So of course aesthetics or WAF come into play there.
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Old 02-13-2015, 02:10 PM
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My wife just saw a photo of some Magnapans for sale and thought they were the coolest things ever.
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Old 02-13-2015, 02:11 PM
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I only had issues when my theater was not a dedicated space, but rather a shared living room. Now that it is dedicated, she really could care less, other than she did push for the extra soundproofing!


My theater build 2015 (Circle N theater)
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Old 02-13-2015, 02:15 PM
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I wanted to use our family room and set up a screen and front projector system. At first my wife had some issues concerning the initial expense (this was 7 years ago) but once she started to see movies on the big screen she fell in love with the whole idea and she has been my partner in decorating the room (dark green ceiling and walls). She made dark green velvet curtains to block light as well as frame the 106" diagonal screen and actually bought an SVS sub-woofer for Christmas as a surprise (she knew the model I wanted-39PC+). I still consult her on any major changes (a second SVS sub-woofer and a new projector) but it always is yes.

We have been married 42 years and our life has been making each other happy and my wife knows my home theater is certainly part of my happiness.
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Old 02-13-2015, 02:21 PM
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Originally Posted by teckademic View Post
Before i had a dedicated room, we had an agreement that the living room was mine to do with what I please, no limits and the rest of house was hers.
We also had agreement on purchases that if she couldn't tell a difference from what was there before then it was no. I believe she was always honest since some things she could tell and other times, she didn't know what had changed. There were times when she preferred the old sound too, so she did play a big role in the components i've owned and speaker placement, as well as subs. I tend to use her for auditioning new layouts, speakers and pretty much everything. Never have felt the need for any software analysis, just the good ol wife has worked for me
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Old 02-13-2015, 02:29 PM
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I don't have a dedicated room so I have a 7.1 setup in the living room. She's ok with me adding more speakers and subs just as long as they're not overly noticeable and wires aren't all over the place. So I've accepted the challenge and it's been fun trying to find ways on how to add more and more stuff without it being unpleasant to her eyes.
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Old 02-13-2015, 02:29 PM
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Originally Posted by AXLCMT View Post
I would have made a "bat cave" black room...
I did. It's my entertainment room so she didn't have a problem with it. Although, three of the walls are a dark green with the front wall and ceiling being black.

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Old 02-13-2015, 02:30 PM
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i wanted bookshelf speakers, but got the Def. Tech. Mythos Five, three and Gem with super cube sub to keep up with the room Decor. The Aluminum finish of Mythos was very helpful to keep 5 speakers in family room, all the wires are hidden, audio rack in one corner with all wires hidden too. Mythos speakers front grill blend with black granite on fire place. All this was accomplished to make 5 speaker as un intrusive as possible. Harmony remote was a big life saver for me, my 5 year old kid back then also knew how to use the system. WAF is real. With Mythos the speaker looks never came in conversation, it has been 8 years with this setup.
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Old 02-13-2015, 02:37 PM
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My "theater" is a family room 95% of the time. The wife controls every aspect of the room. When I asked about her about adding a bunch of sound panels and bass traps - of course she said no. We compromised and I hung Persian rugs on the walls. Granted they are not as good as sound panels, but the room sound is much better, with very little echo - and it looks better too!
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Old 02-13-2015, 02:56 PM
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My wife lets me do whatever I like, but I'm probably more concerned about aesthetics than she is!

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Old 02-13-2015, 03:18 PM
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My girlfriend loves good sound so she is very accepting. We have a dedicated theater so I can do what I want, she just like to pick the seating, no problem there! We have our 2-channel system in the living room with an entertainment center 8' wide, 6' tall and 2' deep and shelves full of gear plus big speakers and even a set of little ones too but like I said, she loves good sound I an basically do what I want with the sysem. The rest of the living room decorations are her choices so we're good.

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Old 02-13-2015, 03:27 PM
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I'm pickier about the aesthetics of my room than my wife, which makes this a non-issue for me.

Now if this ALSO includes how expensive something is, well, yeah I talk to her first. Heck, if she spent a few thousand bucks without asking me, I'd be pissed.
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Old 02-13-2015, 03:28 PM
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I voted "No, I have no spouse" but even so...

I seek female input when it comes to the esthetics of my home theater. I'm planing some changes and have been seeking input from friends and family of both genders, neither seem to understand the purpose of a dedicated home theater, I've had guys suggest high back leather chairs not understanding that they would block surround content and increase reflections, I've had gals suggest changing the entire room to a bright color thus ruining contrast and the purpose of a darkened theater...strange suggestions regardless of gender. So all suggestions have to be filtered with visual and acoustic considerations regardless of gender and even if suggestions seem bazaar I still consider their intent, for the guy's suggestion in this example I translate his suggestion into comfortable seating, for the gals suggestion in this example I translate her suggestion into, all black might not be the best choice and some muted but more lively colors in the right place would add to the esthetic.

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Old 02-13-2015, 03:30 PM
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My home theater is my living room, and my wife has the ultimate say-so when it comes to what I put in it, down to the color of the speakers. With that said, I have a living room that is functional for its original intended purpose and one bada$& home theater.
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Old 02-13-2015, 04:02 PM
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My wife and I have an agreement for the TV room.

I can do and spend as much as I want as long has it is hidden. She has 23-28 women over once a week in the room and she likes the room clean looking

That's why I have 8 in-ceiling speakers, 2 mid woofers hidden in front and 1 SVS PB Ultra-13 that is also well hidden.

Everyone in my house hold is happy

Below is the SVS

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Old 02-13-2015, 04:03 PM
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My wife does Interior Design so it was a bit tricky getting her to sign off on fitting a Projector system in the main Family room. But we worked together on it and it turned out pretty darn good! :-)
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Old 02-13-2015, 04:10 PM
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When I married my wife and inherited 3 daughters, I was encouraged to create a space that I could call my own.

Turning an unfinished 750 sq ft basement into livable space has been a nice way to have an area to escape. She "lets me" do what I wish with the space so long as the spending doesn't interfere with normal living expenses.

Colors, furniture, decorating, audio, and video is all up to me. She even doesn't mind the cigars!
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Old 02-13-2015, 04:26 PM
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Since my theater/listening room is in a separate, dedicated building WAF is not in my vocabulary.
Not that I wouldn't listen to what she has to say it's just that she likes that I have a separate place for this.

My wife does enjoy spending time there, she likes "what I have done with the place" anyway so...

Been married for 42 years and never, ever, not once has she complained about what I do, buy or like.

Those that have to be concerned about WAF.... well, sorry to hear that!

I found the Perfect wife!
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Old 02-13-2015, 04:34 PM
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I'm getting divorced. Next theater I guess I get to do what I want.
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