Not to be critical, but you have a wish list list that is tough to fill. Based on your major points of equipment, and activities simplicity, the Harmony remotes seem to be the best answer. However, you may want to look at the XSight Touch as an alternate.
I can understand your feeling that the Harmony remotes are a pain to set up, but I can assure you that trying to set up a normal "macros" on a universal remote is even more work, and has a higher probablitility of screwing up.
My best suggestion is to look on E-Bay for an older Harmony, in your case an 890. The 890 allows for RF signals (for equipment in cabinets). They can be found for around $100.00 in good condition.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I bought all this "stuff" to enjoy it!