Viewing Review: Still Crazy-Good After All These Years !! - AVS Forum
Still Crazy-Good After All These Years !! Edit
by southleft Combined Rating: 5.0
Ah, would ye be castin' your minds back now to the dark days of recession ... way back to May of 2009. The spring thaw never came, gas and grocery prices kept risin', homeless men sat on street...
Pros Cons
  • Excellent image quality, Natural color, Performance undiminished after 4 years of use, Excellent room heater
  • Excellent room heater, Makes electric meter spin faster, Expensive - sold several body parts to afford purchase.
Ah, would ye be castin' your minds back now to the dark days of recession ... way back to May of 2009. The spring thaw never came, gas and grocery prices kept risin', homeless men sat on street corners with cardboard signs that said "Will Wurk 4 Beer" and, worst of all, me girlfriend bought orange underwear and said t'was all she could afford. I tell ya, lads, the wail of a banshee woulda been more welcome than the sight o' them orange knickers in the cold mornin' light. It seemed there was no respite to the painful assault on eye and mind of all and even meself, the most broadminded of men.

Then it happened. We were surfin' on the inter-web thing when all of a sudden-like, we saw it. A Pioneer KURO - the Holy Grail for all seekers of truth in imagin' and detail. Aye, you've guessed already. "Twas a 2-day-only sale event at breast-bye.com. It seems they had a shed-full of these four-thousand-dollar beauties that had to go so they were sellin'em off at half price, to be sure. Completing the seduction, as if they could read our minds, they allowed as how we might be stretchin' the cost over a year and more without payin' a penny extra. "This is the Devil's work. Don't be taken in by it!" cautioned the girlfriend.

But, after a long moment of resisting temptation, we did the dirty deed anyways and, before you could say 'tangerine undergarment', the shiny beast was ensconced in heart and hearth of our humble abode. Having pressed the power button me girlfriend stroked the long, black remote control stick with both hands and said "Look, this thing's twice as long as your ... " "Oh, look", I said, "It's ESPN! ..."

"There's so many picture settings. Which one should we choose, I wonder?" asked the girlfriend. So, onto the inter-web thing once more to seek advice and decided to search for "kuro temptation". This led me to a secret portal with an strange magical name - avsforum. There were runes which, when translated, said Ye shall burn-in thy KURO for ten hours of the clock each day on the Movie pre-set even if ye be not watching it that whole time. Ye shall rinse and repeat the burn-in for twenty days and two. Then shall ye seek Digital Video Essentials or its brethren.

And so it was done, and we were anointed by proxy of Joe Kane, and the images were sharp, and the color was true, and the living room was warm to the touch.

For four years and more have we basked in the glow of KURO with blacker blacks, whiter whites and many-hued rainbows of Blu-ray and live sports. There has been nary a judder nor yet the ghost of slow response time. We have slid slowly but irrevocably into decadence, wallowing in waves of close-up details as we munch our popcorn slathered in melted butter.

"Wow", said meself, "She is smokin' hot. Just look at those buns!". "Hah!", said the girlfriend, "She's obviously had a butt-lift. Just look at those scars!" I looked again and, sure enough, there were tiny scars visible. Later, we switched over to a football game. Again, the girlfriend was starin' intently at the screen and her breathin' seemed a bit rapid. "Never knew you liked football this much", said I. "Ah", she replied, "It's not that a'tall a'tall, but I'm suddenly findin' an attraction for them big men in tight pants." Well, it was very warm in the livin' room, to be sure, and we didn't see much of the game after that.

So, my advice to you all? Don't be allowin' yourselves to be seduced by KURO temptation, lest ye find yourselves wastin' valuable TV-watchin' time with decadent food and love-makin' on the sofa ... in the warm livin' room ... in the glow of the KURO ...........

THE END
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Vlad Theimpaler 08-20-2013, 06:16 PM

Best. Review. Ever.
I laughed out loud throughout the review (which usually doesn't happen when I read humor). For all the enjoyment given here, I seriously hope you win this contest

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