10/1/2009Staffy -1, Dennis the Menace -0... Ain't War a Bitch?
This summer I took a break from the theater and started multiple wars. The first war was with my lawn. I found out my lawncare company was BS'ing me in telling me I had a fungus causing weird grass to grow all over. I cut out samples, drove all over the place to experts, and finally found out I had wild bentgrass...similar to what you see on a golfcourse. After a month of trying to cut out the bad spots, I later realized I would have to suffer through it and just kill off the lawn and start over next year.
While I was slaving away out in the sun, the neighborhood rugrat was talking my ear off. He lives right behind me, so I have seen him grow from a hyper little infant to the neighborhood menace over the last 5 years. If you see a bike thrown in the pond...it was him. If you find a dented garage door... it was him. Yard tore up because some kid wants to play baseball with his friends... it was him.
So this little toe-head was chatting away trying to show off to a neighbor girl. He started bragging about some of his latest achievements. I told him he had better not get caught or his dad, a police officer, would probably tan his behind.
This lil bugger puffed out his chest, grinned, looked me right in the eye and said, "I am not scared, I can do whatever I want!"
Ohhh wow.. I don't know why this lit me up so much, but man I got pissed... "You do that buddy, let's see how that works out for ya..."
I got an evil smile as an idea popped into my head...
I was about to head out of town for two weeks on business... so I went out at dusk, grabbed my jug of Round Up
and proceeded to spray a design in my yard that directly faced his yard.
I kind of forgot about it until after I got back from my trip, was mowing my crappy yard and what I saw next brought a smile to my face...
Evidently for the past week, my yard had been the talk of the neighborhood. That day, someone finally said something to the parents and my phone started ringing.
Dennis the Menace's mom called and started apologizing right and left, I played dumb and went out to look at the "damage". I ended the call with "Kids will be kids I guess..."
Later the father stopped me to apologize and I could not hold a straight face any longer, so I busted out laughing as I told him what I did and why I did it. He laughed and said the lil bugger deserved it and he would smooth this all over with the mom.
Haven't seen the lil troublemaker in 4 months, he steers clear of my yard STAFFY FOR THE WIN!!!!