Here are some of the ones I have tried and my results (hopefully this helps someone):
Plex - The web-based GUI is clunky and very laggy and time consuming when trying to search for a specific movie, also when I did an update to Plex recently it wiped out my whole library and then would not install properly.
Windows Media Center - While it works the setup is clunky, and drawn out, and adding folders sometimes doesn't scan properly.
MediaPortal - Large learning curve to figure this one out, not very intuitive.
XBMC - I have been using XBMC for years, but never as a backend server for other devices (like my BD390) A bit of a learning curve with all the options available, XBMC includes everything and the kitchen sink. I have tried setting the library ina mysql DB, but its not working that great, so I just have the XBMC on a PC and leave it running 24/7, after the initial scan (made a whole lot faster cause I have all the movies with NFO files and artwork already in the movie folders) Its pretty simple to use, my niece can get a movie up and running in no time with the BD390 now
I have all the folders setup in shared folders ( which for windows 7 was a pain, and windows eight is downright mean to users trying to set something up) but those are not even needed when running a UPNP or DLNA, just added an exception for XBMC in the firewall.