Forks in the road to my build, which way to go?

As I gaze over the endless valley of possibilites for an HTPC, building is most appealing so I get exactly what I want, but my head spins with so many options. Thanks to all that have replied to my posts so far and to renethx for his thread, the advice is invaluable. Problem is deciding which direction to go. At least I like XBMC as the front end, I hope to just run XBMC Live but may run Win XP/7 or go dual boot. I already store files on a server so I just need a way to play them (and the occasional disk). See the bottom for more on how we'll use it.

Your thoughts, pearls of wisdom, feedback, or advice?

Build paths/forks that appeal to me:
1. mini-itx atom based nettop running XMBC Live
2. micro-atx or mini-itx with onboard nVidia 9300/9400 & Intel 775 running Win XP or 7
3. atx or micro-atx with seperate video nVidia GT 220, Intel 775, Win XP or 7, & AV style case
No Blu-Ray now but I want the ability down the road, pop in and play a BR disk, ripping to server, and ISO/file playback from server

Option 1 - nettop htpc build:
mobo: ZOTAC IONITX-F-E $180
case: Winsis WT-02 $50
ram: 2 x 1GB DDR 800 $50
hd: WD 2.5" laptop sata $45 (may just boot off USB for XBMC Live)
dvd: $20
Total ~$350
Pros: simple, small, cool, quiet, low power, sound outputs for my 5.1 reciever
Cons: may be slow for other tasks

Option 2 - small 775 based htpc build:
mobo: ZOTAC GF9300-G-E $140
case: Foxconn RS233 $50
cpu: Intel E6300 $80
ram: 2 x 1GB DDR 800 $50
hd: WD 2.5" laptop sata $45
dvd: $20
fans: $10 - $20
Total ~$385
Pros: still pretty small, more performance for other tasks, sound outputs for my 5.1 reciever
Cons: may be tricky to get quiet and cool, more power needed, more complicated

Option 3 - AV style htpc build:
mobo: ASUS P5QPL-VM $75
case: Antec Fusion Remote 350 $100
cpu: Intel E6300 $80
video: ASUS GT220 $50 after rebate
ram: 2 x 1GB DDR 800 $50
hd: WD 2.5" laptop sata $45
dvd: $20
fans: $10 - $20
Total ~$440
Pros: performance, AV style, more flexible down the road, dual video
Cons: big, cooling issues, noisy fans to sort, more power draw, most complex

Our laptop has become the online TV watching box, the best part really is that you can sit on the couch and hit the keys/mouse as needed due the nature of online tv, problem is only a couple people can watch.

We are planning to get a 42" tv in the next couple months and I'd like something better than huddling around the laptop but still being able to mouse/press key as needed. I have an Adesso RF keyboard but it's not backlit and is a little big. I hope to find a backlit remote that can mouse/key and also handle MCE remote buttons.

We watch DVD's with our 16:9 Projector, dvd player, & 5.1 sound. Sometimes we connect the laptop to the projector to play AVI's or ripped DVD's but the 4:3 vga out image is lacking and only stereo sound. I want to get rid of the standalone DVD player but do not want to replace our receiver and projector. Next summer I may get into DVR'ing and I'll use SiliconDust HDHomeRun and record using my "server" PC. Blu-Ray will come into our house sooner or later

Thanks
Mike S

I'm leaning towards #2 but maybe will go with that Antec case in #3. Not worried about the electric bill, just heat and noise. #1 is more of a simple appliance that is easy but I think the Atom will leave me wanting more if I use it for more than just watching. Difference in price just doesn't make #1 worth it

Thanks for the reply, good point. The idea with #3 is nVidia video which is best with XBMC Live and that card is a notch better than the 9300/9400 onboard stuff. But I think #2 is the winner

The only hiccup for me on the GF9300-A-E mobo is no optical audio port and it lacks a SPDIF header. I want flexibility in case I need it but I might compromise on this one item. My 5.1 reciever has inputs for coax and optical so I'm OK at the moment.

For now I need a single audio output from my HTPC to my reciever, VGA for my projector, and when I buy the TV I'll use HDMI or DVI. Someday I'll buy an HDMI reciever and projector, audio over HDMI seems to be a headache waiting to happen. I have no experience with HDMI so maybe that's in the past, but if two cables may are easier I'll go that way. So to have the option to have an optical port available would be nice but not the end of the world
Mike S