Building an HTPC that can control my theater

well, for your music, if you ok with using iTunes, use their remote app. its pretty snazzy. the UI acts just like when your browser music on a touch.

the remote app is done over your wireless network.

infrared is infrared. the source doesn't rly matter, just the command code (the ir blinks).

you could use any IR program out there. it may have preloaded ir commands for your equipment or you should be able to teach it. just need to find one that you like.

unless you want a fancy UI, i might suggest a logitech remote. they work great. i tried using my touch as remote. wasn't a big fan. hard to use in dark room, have to look at it to change any controls (a remote you can run your thumb/fingers over the buttons), and distinct lack of rly nice looking UI's on the apps i found.

but for music control, nothing beats a itunes + touch + remote app.

Well....this gets into the complex territory, but it's doable.

Depending on your budget/time/patience etc etc, you could get a USB-UIRT + girder to control your other devices. Any automation not offered via girder could potentially be done via Autohotkey or something similar.

Now, as far as using an iPad as your "remote", of course is doable, it's just a question of how far does the integration go. It'll also depend on what your main media software is, and how well it plays with the iPad controller software. You may be in for some custom programming.

You will probably find a lot more help at www.cocoontech.com.

I personally use a program called cqc that integrates all my different hardware into one point of control and has an ipad interface.