I think the screws or nails for mounting might be an issue, the heads shining through the fabric covers. I think that is why people suggest those impaling clips, but this is based on reading, not first hand knowledge.
Jim, could you set up an elaborate scheme where you are "injured"and require the help of an assistance dog? Fake a seizure? There are seizure detecting dogs. Not saying you should take a trained dog from someone who needs one, but if you could be convincing, how could your wife refuse you a service dog? I'm glad I've never been in your shoes, I've almost always had a dog, I've even kicked girlfriends out for fighting over who got to sleep closer to me. My big guy is insane and stubborn as hell, and my little princess means the world to me. She lives with my ex girlfriend, but I get to have her visit whenever I want and she is the most incredible therapy there is ( no offense to your profession, psych).
BTW, on topic, I agree with Jim on your progress, and comments about contractors houses, my livingroom has looked like a construction zone for over a year, work on a little, change something, work on everyone else's houses then not want to work on my place. The box by my front door has had two switches and the spare wires hanging out of it for 3 months now, no cover plate. So your progress is stunning, can't wait to see more pictures, maybe of Nui laying the carpet.