The GE line of Z-Wave products are pretty affordable, have you considered them? They are all compatible with Zwave door locks and support beaming (very important) and almost all of their controllers are in the $40-$60 range. What do you mean exactly by IR control of the zwave controller? Do you mean IR and Zwave control from one remote? Or do you want to control your zwave lighting via infrared?
Apple/Android control of zwave IS available as well, I will get some apps for you in a couple days when I have more time (on a deadline right now).
Also, I have experience with Insteon, X-10, Z-wave IR and everything Home Theater and low voltage. Dean Roddey is exactly right! I have used all these technologies, personally and professionally for almost 20 years. They all work great, AND they can also really drive you crazy when they don't (and believe me NONE of them are perfect - no matter what anyone says!) If you take the time to learn just a little about how they work, you WILL get the most from your technology.
Anyways, happy to help
Kelly with HA World Online