Best Movie Quotes of All Time - Page 13

"Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here. This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me."



"I'll be back"



"Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES"!"



"Mother pussbucket"

You screw up just this much, you'll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog sh1t out of Hong Kong

Don't call that dog "lifesaver;" call him "sh1thead."

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fu3ked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu3kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

And I thought they smelled bad on the outside

From the same scene as the previous quote... Robert Duvall in Apocalypse Now - "If I say it's safe to surf this beach, it's safe to surf this beach!"

Another Raising Arizona quote from Nicolas Cage... "Her womb was a barren desert in which my seed could find no purchase."

And finally, Frances McDormand in Fargo... "And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper."

Beverly Hills Cop:

You just f... up a perfectly good lie.

Woman: "How do you write women so well?"

Melvin: "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

As Good As It Gets - 1997









I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.
Edited by Rkirt - 10/7/12 at 4:28am

My favorite quote is from The Professional with Gary Oldman as rogue DEA Agent Norman Stansfield:

"I HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS MICKEY-MOUSE BULLSH*T ! !"

Mr. Mom

Jack: "Gonna rip these walls out and, uh, of course re-wire it. "
Ron: "Yeah, you gonna make it all 220?"
Jack: "220, 221. Whatever it takes"

Such a nice tush. (spoken by Ruth Gordon, the little old lady, as she pulled down George Segal's pants and bit his butt in Where's Poppa?).

JAYNE COBB
My muscular buttocks it's forty.

From "Serenity", a movie full of great quotes.

Paul Kemp: The only upside with Nixon is he ain't gonna win.

Sala: He's got the grin.

Paul Kemp: He ain't gonna win. Irish guy's gonna win. But don't ever let him live.

Sala: Well how do you know that?

Paul Kemp: I do horoscopes.


Just watch the Rum Diary over the weekend, I might be in the minority here but I thought the movies was great, and full of clever quotes.


Djoel

Mom!
I can't talk to you now!!!


Dog Day Afternoon

Nursing Home Orderly (Ben Stiller): All right everybody turn up your hearing aids, I have an announcement. Good news! We're extending Arts & Crafts time by FOUR hours today!
Old Lady: But my fingers hurt. (They're hand making quilts)
Orderly: What's that?
Old Lady: My fingers hurt.
Orderly: Aw, well now your back's gonna hurt cuz you just pulled landscaping duty. Anyone else's fingers hurt? No? (whispers harshly to the old lady) What did I tell you about speaking to me that way in front of the other residents... (Adam Sandler walks in) Mr. Gilmore! So nice to see you!

Happy Gilmore, my favorite Sandler's movie

Mine, too, though BB and Carl Weathers carry this film!


"The Price is wrong, B*tch!"

Gladiator:

Maximus: At my signal, unleash hell.

Maximus: I knew a man once who said, "Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.

Maximus: What we do in life echoes in eternity.

Maximus:Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?

Maximus: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

Quintus: People should know when they are conquered.

Tigris: We who are about to die, salute you!

[Looking at some slaves]
Proximo: Can any of them fight? I've got a match coming up.
Slave Trader: Some are good for fighting, others for dying. You need both, I think.

"Mongo only pawn in game of life."

RIP, Mongo.

Indeed! In case anybody needed a reminder of the huge price NFL stars often pay for their success, all they have to do is consider Alex Karrras's health problems after football.

Mein Fuhrer! I can walk!

HAL 9000: "Just what do you think you're doing, Dave? Dave, I really think I'm entitled to an answer to that question. I know everything hasn't been quite right with me, but I can assure you now, very confidently, that it's going to be all right again. I feel much better now. I really do. Look, Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you. Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a...fraid."

I can pull off a dozen quotes from this movie, but the following gets me each and every time:

"Mama, you can bet yo sweet ass and half a titty whoever ordered the hit on you has already got the pigs in they back pocket." ---Black Dynamite

And to complete the quote:
Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.
Dave Bowman: Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.
HAL: It's called "Daisy."
[sings while slowing down]
HAL: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.

"Kill Whitey!" Tommy Boy

"You sucked how many d|cks?" Clerks

"Heeere's Johnny! The Shining or how about "Redrum, Redrum!"

Jeff Spicoli to Mr. Hand:

You D|ck! and every other line that came out of that movie!

EL....OH....EL....!!!!!

"Are you crazy, I have a knife!"
"That's not a knife....this HERE is a knife."

Crocodile Dundee

That line was over cooked back in the 80's

"You sucked how many d|cks?" Clerks

"37?!?!
(to customer) "My girlfriend sucked 37 d!cks!"
Customer: "In a row?"
Girlfriend leaves pissed off and he yells, "Try not to suck any d!ck on the way to the parking lot!" Some guy starts to follow the girlfriend to the parking lot..."Hey you! Get back here!"

Sure, so are nearly of all of these memorable quotes.

Harry Callahan: Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.
The Mayor: Intent? How did you establish that?
Harry Callahan: When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!
[walks out of the room]
The Mayor: He's got a point.

Indeed....

WC: "I'm tending bar one time down in the lower east side in New York. A tough paloma comes in there by the name of Chicago Molly. I cautioned her, 'None of your peccadilloes in here.' There was some hot lunch on the bar, comprising of succotash, Philadelphia Cream Cheese, and asparagus with mayonnaise. She dips her mitt down into this melange. I'm yawning at the time, and she hits me right in the mug with it. I jumps over and I knocks her down."
Squawk: "You knocked her down? I was the one that knocked her down!"
WC: "Oh yes, that's right. He knocked her down...but I was the one who started kicking her. I starts kicking her in the midriff. Did you ever kick a woman in the midriff that had a pair of corsets on?"
Customer: "No, I just can't recall any such incident right now."
WC: "Well, I almost broke my great toe; I never had such a painful experience."
Customer: "Did she ever come back again?"
Squawk: "I'll say she came back. She came back a week later and beat the both of us up."
WC: "Yeh, but she had another woman with her--an elderly woman with gray hair."