Originally Posted by oink
A classic SNL quote.
God, there was so many....
Who can forget the Land Shark (who is it?), the Chicago Deli (coke, no pepsi), and on and on....
This is a bit long, but I remember actually getting stomach cramps from laughing when this skit aired:
Margeret Jo McCullen: Well, Pete, Teri and I have been looking forward to having you on the show, 'cause we know you're the master of all kinds of Christmas goodies. Tell us about them.
Pete Schweddy: Well, there are lots of great treats this time of year - Zucchini Bread, Fruitcake.. but the thing that I most like to bring out this time of year are my Balls.
Teri Rialto: Mmm.. Balls.. Tell us about your Balls, Pete.
Pete Schweddy: Well, over at Season's Eatings, we have Balls for every taste. Popcorn Balls, Cheese Balls, Rum Balls.. you name it.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow! My mouth's watering just thinking about those Balls!
Teri Rialto: It's been years since I've seen any Balls.
Pete Schweddy: Would you like to see my Balls now?
Margeret Jo McCullen: Yeah. Whip them out.
[ Pete places a tray of Balls on the control board ]
Teri Rialto: Mmm.. wow.. you have some beautiful Balls..
Margeret Jo McCullen: They're bigger than I expected.
Pete Schweddy: A lot of people tell me that.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Look at that, Teri - the way they glisten.
Pete Schweddy: That's because make sure that each one of my Balls gets plenty of oil.
Margeret Jo McCullen: I can't help but, notice, Pete - your Balls are a little misshapen.
Pete Schweddy: That's because I rested them on a hot stove too long.
Teri Rialto: Can I touch your Balls.
Pete Schweddy: Go ahead. But be careful, they're very delicate.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow. I can't wait to get my mouth around his Balls.
Teri Rialto: [ sniffing ] Ooh.. I like the way your Balls smell..
Pete Schweddy: Do whatever you want to, ladies. My Balls are here for your pleasure.
Margeret Jo McCullen: [ chewing ] Wow, Pete.. I have to say - your Balls are so tender..
Pete Schweddy: Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow.. Schweddy Balls. Nothing like a Schweddy Ball.
Teri Rialto: Good Balls.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Mmm.. good times.
Teri Rialto: Good times.. Mmm.. our producer is telling us it's time to wrap it up.
Margeret Jo McCullen: That's all the time we have today, Teri. So, join us next week, when our topic will be that other holiday favorite..
Margaret Jo & Teri - ..Fragrant, Flavored Nuts.
Pete Schweddy: A quick plug! If you order from Season's Eatings now, you can still send out a special Schweddy Ball Sack in time.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Great idea. My niece would love a Sack of Schweddy Balls...