I hear you. When I first started testing ASIO4ALL, I had the same problem in the ASIO control panel. My HD audio device was showing idle, and no amount of clicking would enable it. You may recall a previous posting of mine, where I reported that a completely fresh install of Windows cleared up this problem. IMO, the ASIO4ALL software is a bit flakey. I would hate to think that others like yourself would need to re-install,Windows to get it to work. However, if you haven't tried yet, you could uninstall and re- install ASIO4ALL to see if this helps.
There is also a later release of ASIO IIRC, so it my be worth checking that you have the latest one if encountering problems.