Women telling men what speakers to buy are you nuts? - Page 2

mine puts on a little show and then watches the movie...dedicated rooms are easier to go with no WAF. I brought her into my life with 3 pair of def tech towers (the big old school ones) as a baseline. "What happens if it falls on a kid!?!?!?! Probably an ER trip...so keep them out of here"

OP - you are clearly not married...things change when you go from "sex buddy" to "wife" as tough as you sound over the internet.

Def Tech BP3000TLs!

An interesting side story, the guy I bought them from clearly abused his wife. I don't know if it was just verbally or what. She was very afraid of him. I bet he has no issues buying what he wants!

That's funny right there, one reason to stay single.

One of the problems is that too many guys cede all authority for decorating the house to the wife. They roll heir eyes when asked how things look. If you want to have some say so in whether or not your speakers should go in the house, you have to be involved long before that with picking out furniture, paint colors, carpeting etc., and make it at least "appear" that it matters to you

As for some of the antiquated "man beat chest, lay down the law over woman" sentiments in this thread, you guys deserve to be banished to the man cave. LOL

I'm considerate to my wife because she values my opinion. Nothing wrong with compromising sometimes. Maybe some of the people on these forums don't care about speakers as much as you, that could be why they are compromising on it. Doesn't mean they are pushovers in everything.

Just last month my wife really wanted a bedroom set. I really hated it and told her so. We didn't get it. When we used to live in a one bedroom 815 sq ft condo, we had my workout equipment in the master bedroom, which she didn't like. I had a big ass power rack, a glute ham raise machine, an air rower, dumbbells, and olympics weights all up in there. Also, at the time she gave me a choice to have my workout equipment or get some big ass speakers for the living room. I chose my workout equipment.

If the speakers will be in my own personal room, she will get no say. But if the speakers are in the shared living room, then I might let her have some say. But probably not now, since we live in a bigger townhouse now.

I guess that, if she doesn't like what you buy and how the living room looks after that, you can always use the brute force... mens are mens, no? If it doesn't work out, I'm sure the gun under your pillow will

Oh dear... Some people don't understand that, when you share your life and home with somebody, it's not MY house, but OUR house. I won't buy any speakers (or anything, for that case) for the house, without first sitting down with my Girldfriend to reach some kind of approach... and it's the same for her. She can't hang any art or put any deco that I don't like.

It's much better that way... at the end we will both like OUR house, not just me or not just her.

the man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck - and tells the head where and what to look at.

The way you reacted to my post, you obviously are scared of the word compromise. If you had read it a bit more carefully, you would have picked up on words like "I don't care" and "I agree". Therefore, I found a compromise that works not only for me but the both of us. You twist the post and use words like "suffer, sub-human" and equate a man cave to a dungeon. Sound paranoid to me.

You been feeling kicked around a lot lately in your personal like pal?

If you make decisions about a shared space without considering your partners thoughts and feeling, THAT is acting like a child...

...now if you have made a mutual decision that there is a space called the HT, and that all decisions in that space are to be yours alone - then that is having had consultation and received in advance full WAF - it is not saying that WAF is irrelevant and "get some b@lls guys"

Consulting for concurrence is not asking for permission

Handing over control would be saying "you decide what we get", effectively providing blanket HAF the same way you seem to have been provided blanket WAF

Without blanket permission (which is no different than individual decision permission, other than speeding up the whole process, and obviously seems to give you a feeling of power)...

...failing to consult is not showing respect.


So you reality is either:

a) you consulted in advance, and effectively got blanket WAF for all decisions in the HT space, or

b) you do whatever you want and don't care what your partner thinks, and therefore do not respect

And you know what, it's ok. As long as she's happy and there is some compromise, then all is well.

(I would have posted this last night, but my wife says I'm not allowed to use the Internet after 7:00pm)

I would like to see photos of the OP's setup. Just to see what I am missing (other than my balls).

Hmmm...so, being a man is all about stamping your feet and petulantly insisting that you're entitled to have and do whatever you want. That sounds a lot more like what being a child is all about...

That said, there's also nothing particularly adult about the behaviour of the person (male or female) who refuses to make reasonable compromises.

IMHO only, of course, and YMMV.
Edited by eljaycanuck - 2/14/13 at 6:17am

It's out of principle. Regardless of whether or not you care, she is still taking control of a LARGE portion of the living quarters. If doubt that if you did care, like OP, you would be be so passive about having no other choice than to go to the basement just to enjoy yourself a little. Shouldn't the compromise be about sharing the living space? After all, you do contribute your share to the house, no? I definitely would not want to be with a woman that selfishly demands that she have pretty much the entire house the she wants it. That's like paying for somebody else to live in your house, especially when you'll be going down under any time you want to relax or entertain yourself. I understand that you don't care, just the principle of it irks me. That's why I responded so vehemently.

Let me know how the whole grabbing her by the hair, dragging her home, and whipping her into submission thing works out for you.

Personally I like having a space of my own, and so does my wife (like having her own space).

gonna let my wife read this it will just reconfirm to her how good she's got it and I'll prob get some out of it.

thanks.

Your plan is flawless...except for the part where she gets to your post and realizes that it was all just part of a plan for you to get some...

hopefully she won't get past first page because 1st page says it all. heh

One of two things can be taken from this:

1. During adolescence an adult male figure (Father or Father-figure) exhibited abusive behavior toward the Mother.
2. Extremely overprotective Mother, either over pampering or over controlling the adolescent, results is that they are not able to have a successful relationship.

Traditionally speaking, men are head of the household but that's because women look to them to make decisions that are condusive to household harmony. This whole "damn the torpedoes/full steam ahead" mentality only leads to a dysfunctional home life. If a woman lets a man tell her what he's going to do without any input, she's either disconnected from her man or a doormat. I have my set-up the way I want it because I value her input and she agreed with me. I was able to blend the equipent in with the decor. You'll be pleasantly surprised to find out that you don't have to compromise when you come prepared. Any marriage counselor worth their salt will advise you not to "tell" your spouse what you're going to do. There's a psychologically undertow that takes place when you take that path.

I've sort of always wondered why either spouse cares what the other one decides to put in a shared space. So long as it's within reason. I personally, don't care what my wife or girlfriend buys and puts in the house so long as it's not some big, drastic change. Now, with that said, I'd likely, never date or marry someone if I didn't think they had similar enough tastes so as we wouldn't really have to ask each other, as long as said item was reasonable. I don't want either of us to feel we have to ask. It has nothing to do with respect or lack there of. I just think if it's nothing too dramatic of change, it shouldn't matter.

Now, with that out of the way. It is still reasonable to ask. To the OP, it has nothing to do with growing some balls. It's simply asking the other's opinion, no matter who you live with. Take away the wife and imagine it's a male roommate or two. You'd probably ask their opinion before you go shove two giantic speakers and an AV rack of equipment in a shared living room. I can't imagine anyone just shoving it out there without saying, "Hey, man, do you mind if I put a bunch of **** out here?". It doesn't even have anything to do with a wife or women. But, if you're sharing a space with anyone, you'd think, most, reasonable people would ask a person's opinion, whom they live with.

Sent via Samsung Galaxy S3

Wait you have a wife and girlfriend? Wife don't mind?

Polygamy

The timing of this couldn't be better with today being my most hated so called holiday.

My girlfriend nor my ex-wife could tell me what speakers to put in our living room because they know and trust I am not going to have a pair of JBL 12's and huge horns for my LCRs. I am hoping most of the men that comment about their wives havinig an say in the look of the speakers are doing what any man should do and that is being considerate. Even though I could care less about the color and style of the window coveirngs I know and trust that when she goes shopping she isn't going to come back with some terrible flower print cause I would have a FIT!!!! Same thing goes for my cars/bikes.

For those of you that give in to your ladies demands because you want to get some... WOW!!! That is something I can't even imagine happens in relationships.

I agree with the OP. Y'all wusses need to grow a pair.



The family room where my HT is, is my domain. The living room is my wife's domain.

End of story.

I have my 65 lb L/R towers placed 30" out into the room from the front wall. And they sound fantastic. The way that I explain it to my wife? You can't have the good without the bad. Learn to accept it. And she most certainly doesn't have any complaints when we watch movies together.
Edited by Kevin C Brown - 2/14/13 at 9:54am

I don't understand how this is even an issue. In all honesty, the type of women I've always gone after are the kind who would not only "allow" me to use whatever speakers I wanted. But she would even help me pick them out. Simply for the fact that it's my hobby and interests, and she would care enough about me to want to share it with me.

I'm married. My wife isn't as interested with the things I am. She still can see the appeal of certain things, like speakers, large TV's, etc. But she just doesn't squeal with excitement like I do when I get a new toy. She will however smile that I'm smiling and happy. At the same time though, she helps to keep my dreams in line and helps me make rational desicions. Because I can easily drain my savings on new gear every few months.

The comment about some guys "still wanting to get some" is ridiculous. Adults don't play games like that. Women are just as interested in "getting some" as their husbands, so it would be silly for them to even attempt to hold out because of their husband's speaker choice. If your wife holds out on you for buying a speaker she didn't like, then you've got bigger problems than you think.

I am one of the lucky ones. I purchased a set of paradigm studio 60's v5 and was very happy but the wife knew I really wanted the 100's. While I was napping the wife called the dealer and worked out a price, than woke me up and said pack up the 60's and we went and got the 100's. Over a period of a year and a bit I had gotten 100',s cc690, 2 sub 12's, adp 590's, a set of 20's and also a pair of 60's. She then informed me that I should get a pair of 10's so that I have all the models, which I did. I am pretty lucky as she helped me on my audio quest. On a side note I have never heard from my wife "not tonight, I have a headache". Thats a Good wife!!

I must be one of the lucky ones. Of course the wife enjoys HT as much as me and so does everyone who comes over. It's not a dedicated HT room it's a living room. I have a 6 shelf rack, 3 Klipsch RF7IIs across the front, SV PB13 Ultra SW, RS 62IIs on wall for surrounds. Our 50" HP plasma just went out and that's mounted on ceiling and drops down so we just ordered a Sony XBR55HX TV should be in by the weekend. In front of all the above I just mentioned a 110" AT screen drops down so we can watch movies with our pj. She can't wait for the Sony tv to show up. Her sister is taken also gents sorry.

this is absolutely hilarious.....