I also second URC remotes, have used mx-350, mx-810 and mx-880 in the last 8 years or so. Though as previous poster said they are a professional vendor only, so they only support theater builders directly.
Though you can get their remotes through http://www.surfremotecontrol.com/
... They will also provide the programming software for a DIYer. Or you can find a local URC vendor, sometimes they will sell and provide the software (sometimes they require you to use their "professional programming services").
Another option is to go the ebay route, but then the remote won't have warranty (I bought the mx-880 the other week for $200). You then have to find the software via torrent (search for complete control program)