Pffft. What an anti-climactic downer. Say-blah
, the blandest of the bland, wins it all. How and why will remain one of the greatest enigmas in the history of mankind. Aliens who find our TV footage along with our charred remains years from now will spend millennia trying to figure this one out.
How is it that when Danny does his spin, spin, spin routine over and over and over, it's somehow "brilliant technique" and yet when Neil performs countless, different, astounding, acrobatic maneuvers one after another, it's called "tricks," thoroughly debasing the difficulty of the performance?
Last time I checked, the Olympics rated gymnasts on technique
, while repetitive, ameteur ballet wasn't anywhere to be seen.
How is it that the "jidges" continually ask the men to not be like Cameron and to please not "dance into the floor" and yet when every last one of them were paired with Say-blah and her utterly flat-footed and clumsy, uninspired steps, they're told that they were "too long or tall" for the moves? (The hip-hop routine is a prime example of this for those with DVR.)
How is it that Lacey couldn't get through one single round without Nigel picking on some ridiculously irrelevant thing in order to sway the vote to his little darling? "Sorry, Lacey, but you're sixth eyelash was out of place on that one."
How is it that Cat doesn't bitch-slap everyone in wardrobe each week?
When it came to the last two, all I could think of was the South Park episode where the kids had to vote for either a "giant douche" or a "turd sandwich." In the end, the turd sandwich won...on both shows.