Our Hobby and Significant Others=Dont Mix

Women just don't understand.

My money is my money. Maybe have an account where you put a certain percentage of the money you earn in there. She has her own account, her own money to do what she wants. Then have a joint account where everything else goes for the mortgage/rent, insurance, car payments, etc.

It doesn't ALWAYS have to be a consultation for everything you buy, imo. If you buy a new HDTV or players or movies, use your money if she doesn't agree that it should come out of the joint account.

Hmmm ... no problem here. My wife loves movies, and loves our theater. She has been nothing but supportive as I have built it up and improved it.

Now I do understand that the cost of getting a major new piece of equipment may be a new piece of furniture. She is itching to recarpet a large part of the house, so it is our own form of "Mutually Assured Destruction" that we have implemented in this regard.

In less than a month, we will have been married 28 years.

Ken

Have a seat on the couch, son!

Tell her that "that plasma display would look really good on some new furniture, do you think you could (her) pick something out, honey? My treat!"

Has she ever sat down and enjoyed a movie with you since you purchased the TV? Oh wait, you said she loves HD now. Hmmm....seems to be a bit of a double-standard. At least she can enjoy the money you spent. How much are you enjoying those earrings or that blender?

Just kidding, to each their own, I suppose. You just need to work out an equitable agreement...

Best of luck, hope you can figure out a way to enjoy the GF...and HD.

My better halfl oves blu-ray. Sshe's always asking when such and such movie are coming out for it. If Planet Earth doesn't win a girl over then she's got to go jk

Next up on her hit list is Galapogos Island documentary. Huge fan of The Prestige (me too).

Not always the case. My wife is completely supportive of the hobby. You gotta choose wisely when it comes to partners. Money is a serious issue in many marriages and it can and does cause divorce. Take the friction seriously and see if she can be reasoned with. If not....

Ask her if she would rather you be on drugs or something...

Thankfully my wife doesn't really get concerned with it. She goes out and spends bunches of money on crap like shoes and earrings. When I want something, if she tries anything, I'll cut in with "Oh and nice NEW ________!" Then ask her how much she paid for the item. Or how useful it's going to be to me as well as her. As yet, she hasn't bought anything for herself that is useful to me one bit. But my HDTV, she loves it and doesn't watch her DVRed stuff on the old TV anymore.

If it's your money, tell her to suck it up and deal with it. As a man, you must have your man stuff. If a woman can't/won't/doesn't understand it, you either need to stand up and educate her, or things get ugly.

Wife Approval Factor is a much lesser degree of that same issue. Like for surround sound speakers, I gave my wife some options, and I asked her which she thought looked the best. She said she didn't care so long as they didn't dominate the room. Bingo, free license to spend what I want so long as its my money. I tell you what though, she's going to love watching The Notebook with her girl friends with that bitchin' surround sound =)

Yeah, I blame this hobby for my inability to attract a mate. It's either that, or me being an out-of-shape couch potato who never leaves the house.

I really dont mean to be an ass when I say this, but speak for yourself

She doesn't even want to touch the stack of DVDs that we have. It's always "blu-ray dvd this" "blu-ray dvd that".

Hard for me to understand who wouldn't want to watch a movie on a bigger screen, better picture, better sound, especially when they aren't paying for it. This is especially true of titles like PE, which IMO are meant to be watched in HD. If you're taking the money from a joint checking or her wallet, and she's not getting any of it to spend on herself, I could see why she would get upset though.

I think the floorstanding speakers were more of an issue with her mainly because of the aesthetic (sp?) aspect.

My wife doesn't really care. I've spent alot more money on my stereo system(s) than my video/HT system. As long as she can get what she wants periodically, everything is fine.
J

Edit: For some reason, she does have a problem with me double dipping.

My wife purchased the 50" plasma w/ her profit sharing check! But she hates the bass on my small system, she also hates my 5 terrabyte music collection.

Well I get back at my fiancee when she goes shopping for more clothes even tough she has not used the once she bought last month.

My wife asked me to cool it on my HD DVDs for a month or two, because we've had a LOT of big expenses lately. I have no problem with that. Checking's running a little low, and I had been getting 6-8 discs a month for the first half of the year. However, I've been telling her for a little over a year now that it's time for a new receiver (planning on the Onkyo 905), and she decided this week that it'd be a nice Anniversary present for the both of us, so we're going to get it later this month.

Now this is in a situation where it's all "our" money. If your girlfriend is getting mad that you're spending YOUR money on stuff you like, take that as a sign. If she's this upset that you're spending your money on something other than her (which is what it's all about, let's be honest), how bad is it going to get if you do get married and "your" money becomes "our" money?

My wife is soo supportive. I am getting ready to start a tear out of the front of my room for a larger screen, new scaler, anamorphic lens, complete re-build out of the stage area, etc.... and in telling her about it, she says I know you love that stuff so go for it!

You guys are amatures. Read some posts where members got their SO to purchase their habit. Yes, some guys know how to have their cake...and eat it too.

She's probably pissed because she wants you to buy her a ring.

This is a good idea when both of you can agree to this.

My wife will give me hard time over it but let's me get what I want. The problem is that she doesn't think of A/V equipment as home improvement items like a picture on the wall or a new couch.

I feel very fortunate as well, because my wife enjoys all things HT. In addition to her being a elementary school princepal, my wife helps with Blu-ray and HD-DVD reviews and helps us design home theater rooms. In-fact she is helping me research a new LCD for our livingroom right now. We are having some fun debates about that project.

~Josh

My wife and I love watching movies at home. And while she was kinda' shaking her head at me when I bought our 50" plasma (in a funny, "men and their toys" kinda' way), the same night we bought it and fired it up to watch a movie she turned to me and said "This is amazing!" She's not a fan of double-dipping on media, but that's more because she's very financially conservative (yes, I have a wife who doesn't like to shop . . . talk about winning the wife lottery).

Perhaps it's not just your media that needs upgrading . . . . .

I'm in the same boat. Whenever money comes up, she still reminds me that I spent 4K on a tv in 2001 (when we weren't even engaged...)

That said, through patience I eventually get most of the stuff I need, and the positive side effect is that with all the waiting time I have plenty of chance to research and find the perfect products.. By now I actually enjoy hunting for the next product more than using it - pretty screwed up...

It's funny how when the women buy stuff it is always 'for the house/family' or 'I really need these clothes/shoes because I gained/lost 5 pounds'. When it comes to my hobbies of computers/movies, it's apparently only me benefitting from those. (Though I could swear she has watched plenty of movies/tv on my setups..)

I'm also blessed with a wife who loves home theater and movies as much as I do. We both enjoy being homebodies on weekends and a good home theater provides a great way to spend time together and shut out the rest of the world for a couple of hours.

I first realized that my wife was mutating into a HT freak when I'd misplace a home theater magazine only to find my wife reading it. And I don't mean looking at the pictures or just the prices. I mean really READING it. Now, she'll show me a review and say, "how about this for our next projector?" In fact, she's been lobbying for a new 1080p projector and I've been the one telling her to slow down because I want to see what new models are coming out at the end of the year. What the hell is wrong with me?

Looking at new HT stuff has even become a ritual of sorts for us. Once a month or so, we take the train out to Ginza so she can go shopping. More often than not, it's just window shopping, but I don't even have to ask her if we can stop by Akihabara on the way home. She just heads for the correct train line and off we go. Once we get there, we head straight for my favorite shops like we're on autopilot.

Looking at our Blu-ray collection, I'm struck by the fact that she's purchased more of our discs than I have. She travels to the States for work several times a month and picks up new U.S. releases whenever possible to save money. Because we have similar tastes in movies, I don't even have to tell her which discs to buy. She just knows.

Her Japanese girlfriends often ask her why she lets me spend our money on this stuff (in most Japanese households, the woman controls the family budget). She tells them that she doesn't "let" me do anything. She wants to get this stuff as much as I do. Nobody ever believes her.

Uhhhh Jeff ya think? You wife should get a medal for patience. Your home has seen more cosmetic surgery than Hollywood LOL j/k.

I'm doing well. I've finally convinced my gf that she needs a 37" HDTV which she's got planned for the Holidays.

When we get married I'll start working the projector angle which shouldn't be hard once we're in a larger place.

I think the key is not to engage the enemy..er SO in this skirmish. Let them buy their umpteenth handbag or earrings without provocation. That way we men can stand firm and tall and buy our electronic toys without fear of justly reprisal.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but do you plan on marrying this woman? These types of arguments only get worse with marriage, not better.

I must be lucky as well. Why? My wife purchased the black paint that we used to paint our screen and ceiling in the theater. It was HER idea! The only time there is an issue is when a large expense comes up, and she just tells me to lay off the spending for a bit, which I oblige.

Now, she's not as understanding of my guitar collection, even though she's a musician herself, but she lives with it as long as it doesn't take up too much space in the closet, which it currently does.

Yeah, but you're not even married yet. You gotta' stand up for what's right or you'll be totally screwed after you tie the knot. Even if you do, it will still get worse after the big day. Believe me!

Here's what I did. I went on a spree in the year or so leading up to our wedding. Got some killer stuff; pretty much everything I needed! Now it's maintenance and easier to justify.

After marriage, you have to figure anything you want will cost you twice as much because she will need to get something too. That system works pretty well as long as there are enough funds. Buy her some shoes or jewelry just before you make a purchase of your own.