having read through the entire thread (twice in some places), and having worn poor mike's email box out, i "think" i might have a direction to go in... tossing in a good word for mike here, his patience (not just with this, but with other things i've been interested in) is exemplary...
my driving force behind all of this is to create more space in my room and go as minimalist as possible... my situation is a bit unique, in that the maf (me acceptance factor) is much more stringent than the waf, and i like to "see" as little hardware/wiring as possible... if i could "see" nothing in the room other than the screen and the seats, that would be my ideal world... my wife, otoh, wants everything out where she can see it, and the bigger the speaker, the better...
anyone out there with an in-ceiling setup want to comment a bit on music listening? right now i'm leaning towards in-ceiling silver monitors for the lcr... my room is a "dedicated media room", and is used for both music and watching movies/tv... in effect, i live in there...

my only real concern about in-ceilings is the "voice of god" effect... from reading here, that doesn't seem to be an issue when there is video to anchor the sound... i want to ensure that if there isn't that "video clue" to the brain that the orchestra isn't playing on my ceiling...
also, if anyone has an in-ceiling setup anywhere near southern new jersey (i'm in collingswood, across the river from philly) and would be willing to let me listen for awhile, i'd greatly appreciate it... doesn't have to be any particular speaker, i'm just trying to get a "feel" for it... no rush, i'm still in the "planning" stage...
tia...