My wife took over my man cave and now its a HER Cave - Page 2 - AVS Forum | Home Theater Discussions And Reviews
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post #31 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 02:19 PM
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Biggest question here is why was she out of the kitchen and laundry room in the first place???

J/k ladies. Kind of. LOL.
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post #32 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 02:26 PM
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Originally Posted by LaserMan207 View Post
First rule of the HT bible for married guys: always buy a house with one MORE large room then what you think you need.
How about just be a MAN?


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post #33 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 02:28 PM
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Originally Posted by siuengr View Post
That sucks. I had the opposite problem. My wife refused to go into my theater. Even if she wanted to watch a movie, she didn't want to "commit" to watching in the theater. She would rather sit on the couch. If four years, she watched one movie with me. It sounds great until you get the guilt that "you never spend any time with me."
The reply to that is... That was YOUR CHOICE.... btw.... how does guilt even work?


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post #34 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 02:30 PM
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Originally Posted by jujuman200 View Post
How about just be a MAN?


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post #35 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 02:32 PM
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Originally Posted by tnaik4 View Post
OH BOY, i m about to get married soon and all ur stories are not reassuring hahahah.

i m in the process of building my house , so the 1st thing i said that there will be a home theater room for myself, everything else do what u want, of course she ended up getting the biggest room in the house as a master bedroom which is triple the size of my home theater lol.
DON'T do it....you are giving her permission to steal 1/2 your stuff and kids for any or no reason.... 80% of divorces are filed by women.... let that sink in.... oh and look it up....



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post #36 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 02:36 PM
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I don't agree with everything in that video but it has some merits....


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post #37 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 02:52 PM
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Originally Posted by tnaik4 View Post
OH BOY, i m about to get married soon and all ur stories are not reassuring hahahah.

i m in the process of building my house , so the 1st thing i said that there will be a home theater room for myself, everything else do what u want, of course she ended up getting the biggest room in the house as a master bedroom which is triple the size of my home theater lol.
Just make sure you marry someone who is your best friend and likes the same things you do. " Opposites attract " - don't go there.
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post #38 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 03:02 PM
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What a nightmare. Fortunately my wife is as happy watching stuff on a stupid ipad as much as a projector.

That said, when we bought our hours over 25 years ago, I always planned to build one. About 15 years ago, we did major renovations (is was a Queensland, Australia Colonial wood house, on stumps) and the common thing is to raise and build under. So we did that, and I set aside one room for my HT. Tech was pretty bad and expensive back then so it was on the backburner, and just used for storage junk. My plan was to finish the renovation of the rest of the house. So for 12 years or so of weekend and holiday work I went though fully finishing (eg stripping back to timber and repainting) the entire original 100+ year old sections, inside and out, floors etc, built HER craft room, and everything else, and finally got it finished, and by then had paid it off, and I said Ok now time for MY room, so I cleared it, started planning, designing, then building etc. I did most of it myself, except the plaster / drywall (that is beyond me).

https://mobe1969.blogspot.com.au/201...struction.html

And you note above on the renovations etc, I used the term "I", not "we". That is not an oversight.

But you know what? As soon as I got it cleared out and was planning shelving, etc, my wife asked me if I could build a cupboard at the back of the room to put her ironing board into. Ignoring the fact that she HAD a cupboard for the ironing board in her mess of a laundry/office, just full or more of her garbage. It still wasn't enough.

She didn't get her extra cupboard.

I guess the moral of the story is some people are just takers/users in relationships, and there is never enough... If one partner can't even have one room for themselves under there control, but the other partner can have MULTIPLE rooms just for their use, that is just messed up.
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post #39 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted by jujuman200 View Post
The reply to that is... That was YOUR CHOICE.... btw.... how does guilt even work?


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Umm, because I'm a man, so everything is my fault. I thought that was how marriage worked.

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post #40 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by skylarlove1999 View Post
Better hope your wife doesn't see this: " I'm in the process of building MY HOUSE. " everything that was yours is now ours. Everything that was hers is still hers. LOL.

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Yes, she did choose the biggest master, but also a second master suite upstairs that she calls her "AWAY ROOM" when she wants to relax and kickback. It's down the hall from (Her Cave) and the family room. Yo
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post #41 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 03:47 PM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by siuengr View Post
Umm, because I'm a man, so everything is my fault. I thought that was how marriage worked.

Yes finally this makes sense. What's mine is hers and what's hers is hers....... Mystery solved!
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post #42 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 03:50 PM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by MOberhardt View Post
What a nightmare. Fortunately my wife is as happy watching stuff on a stupid ipad as much as a projector.

That said, when we bought our hours over 25 years ago, I always planned to build one. About 15 years ago, we did major renovations (is was a Queensland, Australia Colonial wood house, on stumps) and the common thing is to raise and build under. So we did that, and I set aside one room for my HT. Tech was pretty bad and expensive back then so it was on the backburner, and just used for storage junk. My plan was to finish the renovation of the rest of the house. So for 12 years or so of weekend and holiday work I went though fully finishing (eg stripping back to timber and repainting) the entire original 100+ year old sections, inside and out, floors etc, built HER craft room, and everything else, and finally got it finished, and by then had paid it off, and I said Ok now time for MY room, so I cleared it, started planning, designing, then building etc. I did most of it myself, except the plaster / drywall (that is beyond me).

https://mobe1969.blogspot.com.au/201...struction.html

And you note above on the renovations etc, I used the term "I", not "we". That is not an oversight.

But you know what? As soon as I got it cleared out and was planning shelving, etc, my wife asked me if I could build a cupboard at the back of the room to put her ironing board into. Ignoring the fact that she HAD a cupboard for the ironing board in her mess of a laundry/office, just full or more of her garbage. It still wasn't enough.

She didn't get her extra cupboard.

I guess the moral of the story is some people are just takers/users in relationships, and there is never enough... If one partner can't even have one room for themselves under there control, but the other partner can have MULTIPLE rooms just for their use, that is just messed up.

You make so much sense.
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post #43 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 03:51 PM
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Originally Posted by FiveMillionWays View Post
Yes, she did choose the biggest master, but also a second master suite upstairs that she calls her "AWAY ROOM" when she wants to relax and kickback. It's down the hall from (Her Cave) and the family room. Yo
There's a phrase around here called WAF (wife approval factor,) not WEF (wife everything factor.) But, do you at least get a couch?
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post #44 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 03:55 PM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by skylarlove1999 View Post
We all have sacrifices we have made for our wives or is that we have all sacrificed our wives?

I always get that confused

My wife is welcome to join me in the theater and she does on many occasions, but there is no way in hell I would be building a second setup in my bedroom because my wife has taken over mine.

Won't do it . Can't do it. I would create a space for her that was optimal for her. Like a sewing room , a place to craft , a place to cook, a place to knit. LOL.

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My wife uses the second master upstairs as her sewing room lol... She has marked the house as hers lol........
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post #45 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 03:58 PM - Thread Starter
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There's a phrase around here called WAF (wife approval factor,) not WEF (wife everything factor.) But, do you at least get a couch?
Well, actually she loves spending time together in the theater. lovES it....... If I'm away to long she comes looking for me lol. I just want some space that isn't my office when I want to game and the living room downstairs isn't comfy enough for long gaming hours.
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post #46 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 04:00 PM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by siuengr View Post
That sucks. I had the opposite problem. My wife refused to go into my theater. Even if she wanted to watch a movie, she didn't want to "commit" to watching in the theater. She would rather sit on the couch. If four years, she watched one movie with me. It sounds great until you get the guilt that "you never spend any time with me."



My wife loves watching movies in the theater. We ordered additional seats so we could invite friends.
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post #47 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 04:16 PM
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Originally Posted by siuengr View Post
Umm, because I'm a man, so everything is my fault. I thought that was how marriage worked.
ONLY if you ALLOW that type of behavior in your house... boundaries are a thing.....IJS....


And yes I am married 10+ yrs...


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Originally Posted by FiveMillionWays View Post
Yes finally this makes sense. What's mine is hers and what's hers is hers....... Mystery solved!
SMH... just sad


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post #49 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 04:23 PM
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Originally Posted by MOberhardt View Post
What a nightmare. Fortunately my wife is as happy watching stuff on a stupid ipad as much as a projector.

That said, when we bought our hours over 25 years ago, I always planned to build one. About 15 years ago, we did major renovations (is was a Queensland, Australia Colonial wood house, on stumps) and the common thing is to raise and build under. So we did that, and I set aside one room for my HT. Tech was pretty bad and expensive back then so it was on the backburner, and just used for storage junk. My plan was to finish the renovation of the rest of the house. So for 12 years or so of weekend and holiday work I went though fully finishing (eg stripping back to timber and repainting) the entire original 100+ year old sections, inside and out, floors etc, built HER craft room, and everything else, and finally got it finished, and by then had paid it off, and I said Ok now time for MY room, so I cleared it, started planning, designing, then building etc. I did most of it myself, except the plaster / drywall (that is beyond me).

https://mobe1969.blogspot.com.au/201...struction.html

And you note above on the renovations etc, I used the term "I", not "we". That is not an oversight.

But you know what? As soon as I got it cleared out and was planning shelving, etc, my wife asked me if I could build a cupboard at the back of the room to put her ironing board into. Ignoring the fact that she HAD a cupboard for the ironing board in her mess of a laundry/office, just full or more of her garbage. It still wasn't enough.

She didn't get her extra cupboard.

I guess the moral of the story is some people are just takers/users in relationships, and there is never enough... If one partner can't even have one room for themselves under there control, but the other partner can have MULTIPLE rooms just for their use, that is just messed up.
EXACTLY THIS..... I just don't understand all the men buckling to the whims of a woman.... happy wife, happy life is all the B$.
What about your own happiness? Or do you need permission to be happy?


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post #50 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 04:42 PM
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Just make sure you marry someone who is your best friend and likes the same things you do. " Opposites attract " - don't go there.

Married 42 years to an "Opposites Attract". Kind of like the fact there's never a dull moment, even in the "there ain't nothing going on" moments. I've always been an independent fellow, so when she's doing her thing and I'm doing my thing, we're both okay. And were now the Grandparents of one, with two more coming before the end of the year, so we got that going for us. Two are a longish plane flight and one is a six hour drive. Walt Disney promised us video chats in the sixties, and now we finally have Facetime and Zoom.



She likes to share movies with me, not always, but often. She's been home more with the Shelter in Place deal, so my solo Saturday afternoon matinees have gone duo. I find other times to watch the things she has no interest in. I must say, I like the Coronavirus times wife way of living more now than before. As soon as Tennis opens back up, I suspect things will move back the way they were, but probably with a bit more moderation.


That said, she let's me do pretty much I want with the 18'x28' room with a view of the Monterey Bay. Only a peach of a wife would let all the black out drapes and electronic gear all over the place in such a room.


You ought to hear us go at it about Trump and anyone but Trump. I'm the latter.

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post #51 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 06:17 PM
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Married 42 years to an "Opposites Attract". Kind of like the fact there's never a dull moment, even in the "there ain't nothing going on" moments. I've always been an independent fellow, so when she's doing her thing and I'm doing my thing, we're both okay. And were now the Grandparents of one, with two more coming before the end of the year, so we got that going for us. Two are a longish plane flight and one is a six hour drive. Walt Disney promised us video chats in the sixties, and now we finally have Facetime and Zoom.



She likes to share movies with me, not always, but often. She's been home more with the Shelter in Place deal, so my solo Saturday afternoon matinees have gone duo. I find other times to watch the things she has no interest in. I must say, I like the Coronavirus times wife way of living more now than before. As soon as Tennis opens back up, I suspect things will move back the way they were, but probably with a bit more moderation.


That said, she let's me do pretty much I want with the 18'x28' room with a view of the Monterey Bay. Only a peach of a wife would let all the black out drapes and electronic gear all over the place in such a room.


You ought to hear us go at it about Trump and anyone but Trump. I'm the latter.

Sounds like you married a best friend. Also, nobody should look for marriage / relationship advise on the AVS Forum! More like how to get divorced advice ( just paint the room flat black when they aren’t home and buy the projector and four 18” subs )!


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post #52 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 06:29 PM
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EXACTLY THIS..... I just don't understand all the men buckling to the whims of a woman.... happy wife, happy life is all the B$.
What about your own happiness? Or do you need permission to be happy?


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Heh heh! Hear hear!

I like to say (including to my wife) "I'm not an ___hole by nature. It's cause and effect"... :P

I'm sure there are some households where it is flipped though, the give vs take. I'm just personally not aware of any.
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post #53 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 06:45 PM
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When we built our new home during the design we agreed the theater was my man cave. Well I had the projector installed and as I hung the screen on the wall (120in Fixed Frame) she walked in and she was saying something to me and then she stopped talking. When I saw the look in her eyes I knew I was in trouble... She had it's my man cave to look in her eyes. My thought was confirmed when we went furniture shopping for the new house and she wanted to look at more theatre seats. Well now I don't get to watch anything in there and she even uses it as her personal office and we have an office downstairs. I have been relegated to our bedroom for my use. So I said to myself there's enough room in here for my own theater. The Optoma P1 would be excellent since I don't want to have it ceiling mounted and a 110 in fixed frame would also fit nicely. For seating, I will do a two-seat chaise so I can really kick back and relax but there is a kicker... She has no idea I'm planning to do this.......
I am actually LOLing at this.
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Hey, my wife fixes my lunch and serves it to me every day, while I am working. She loves to watch old movies on AMC, reruns of Leave it to Beaver and I Love Lucy. I have no complaints.
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post #55 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 07:04 PM
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Originally Posted by MOberhardt View Post
Heh heh! Hear hear!

I like to say (including to my wife) "I'm not an ___hole by nature. It's cause and effect"... :P

I'm sure there are some households where it is flipped though, the give vs take. I'm just personally not aware of any.
NICE.... I have a slightly different take.... born an A-hole but a di*k by choice.....yes it is cause and effect...


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post #56 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 07:13 PM
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NICE.... I have a slightly different take.... born an A-hole but a di*k by choice.....yes it is cause and effect...


Juju
It's actually funny, when I first started working, back in the early 90s, I had my employee photo taken. I was smiling, eager, full of the future promise, and someone took a candid snaphot at one of the christmas parties about 12 years later, and photoshopped it into a poster for before and after, about the dangers of considering a career in IT... It was pretty hilarious, but somewhat sobering...

I am easygoing, and consider myself very happy, and am so glad to be where I am. But I can feel the toll of decades of constantly having low expectations either met or exceeded (I mean even lower). It is like each day I have to drop my expectations even lower, and it does take a toll on me.
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post #57 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 07:13 PM
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Sounds like you married a best friend. Also, nobody should look for marriage / relationship advise on the AVS Forum! More like how to get divorced advice ( just paint the room flat black when they aren’t home and buy the projector and four 18” subs )!


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My room is floor to ceiling black velvet curtains all around. I bought an RS4500 and then told her I bought it and yes, she knew what an RS4500 was. When it comes to AV, I have free reign. This year I have switched out two subs for larger 18's, giving me 9 18's in the room, switched out the four atmos speakers (finished that this week) and am in the process of switching out my side surrounds. And when my Screen Excellence Trim masking screen comes in, I have that to switch out. After that, I am done for a while. Pic of my right rear atmos speaker I installed Sunday.
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post #58 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 07:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Mike Garrett View Post
My room is floor to ceiling black velvet curtains all around. I bought an RS4500 and then told her I bought it and yes, she knew what an RS4500 was. When it comes to AV, I have free reign. This year I have switched out two subs for larger 18's, giving me 9 18's in the room, switched out the four atmos speakers (finished that this week) and am in the process of switching out my side surrounds. And when my Screen Excellence Trim masking screen comes in, I have that to switch out. After that, I am done for a while. Pic of my right rear atmos speaker I installed Sunday.
We have wives that like home theater and don't mind what we do in them - we are lucky Mike.
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post #59 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by MOberhardt View Post
It's actually funny, when I first started working, back in the early 90s, I had my employee photo taken. I was smiling, eager, full of the future promise, and someone took a candid snaphot at one of the christmas parties about 12 years later, and photoshopped it into a poster for before and after, about the dangers of considering a career in IT... It was pretty hilarious, but somewhat sobering...

I am easygoing, and consider myself very happy, and am so glad to be where I am. But I can feel the toll of decades of constantly having low expectations either met or exceeded (I mean even lower). It is like each day I have to drop my expectations even lower, and it does take a toll on me.
I completely get it.... I was a IT hardware tech many moons ago for several years on the help desk....


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Sub List: 1- Red Five Mini V1 Devastator 18" w/PA460, 1- Red Five Devastator LFE 21", 1- Red Five Devastator 21" Finalizer V2 DF , 1- BOSS platform [The Hideaway Theater], 2- 18" "Full Marty" tuned to 17Hz w/RSS460HO
Wish List: Anthology http://www.speakerdesignworks.com/Anthology_1.html

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post #60 of 89 Old 05-14-2020, 08:36 PM
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We have wives that like home theater and don't mind what we do in them - we are lucky Mike.
Mine WAS grumpy until she watched her fav movies... LOTR series and lost her mind.... she loved it.... so I can include myself in that group as well.


Juju

Sub List: 1- Red Five Mini V1 Devastator 18" w/PA460, 1- Red Five Devastator LFE 21", 1- Red Five Devastator 21" Finalizer V2 DF , 1- BOSS platform [The Hideaway Theater], 2- 18" "Full Marty" tuned to 17Hz w/RSS460HO
Wish List: Anthology http://www.speakerdesignworks.com/Anthology_1.html

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