My wife took over my man cave and now its a HER Cave - AVS Forum | Home Theater Discussions And Reviews
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post #1 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 08:33 AM - Thread Starter
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Talking My wife took over my man cave and now its a HER Cave

When we built our new home during the design we agreed the theater was my man cave. Well I had the projector installed and as I hung the screen on the wall (120in Fixed Frame) she walked in and she was saying something to me and then she stopped talking. When I saw the look in her eyes I knew I was in trouble... She had it's my man cave to look in her eyes. My thought was confirmed when we went furniture shopping for the new house and she wanted to look at more theatre seats. Well now I don't get to watch anything in there and she even uses it as her personal office and we have an office downstairs. I have been relegated to our bedroom for my use. So I said to myself there's enough room in here for my own theater. The Optoma P1 would be excellent since I don't want to have it ceiling mounted and a 110 in fixed frame would also fit nicely. For seating, I will do a two-seat chaise so I can really kick back and relax but there is a kicker... She has no idea I'm planning to do this.......
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post #2 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 08:36 AM
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That's right, time to put on your big boy trousers . Sometimes I've heard, if you have any dreams they may want them too

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post #3 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 09:10 AM
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Originally Posted by FiveMillionWays View Post
When we built our new home during the design we agreed the theater was my man cave. Well I had the projector installed and as I hung the screen on the wall (120in Fixed Frame) she walked in and she was saying something to me and then she stopped talking. When I saw the look in her eyes I knew I was in trouble... She had it's my man cave to look in her eyes. My thought was confirmed when we went furniture shopping for the new house and she wanted to look at more theatre seats. Well now I don't get to watch anything in there and she even uses it as her personal office and we have an office downstairs. I have been relegated to our bedroom for my use. So I said to myself there's enough room in here for my own theater. The Optoma P1 would be excellent since I don't want to have it ceiling mounted and a 110 in fixed frame would also fit nicely. For seating, I will do a two-seat chaise so I can really kick back and relax but there is a kicker... She has no idea I'm planning to do this.......
Can you turn the now unused office downstairs into a theater ? I wouldn't want a theater in my bedroom - unless my wife was okay with a gang of friends watching Deadpool and drinking single malt in her bedroom too.
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post #4 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 09:14 AM
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I installed a cheap Viewsonic short throw projector in my HT for my wife. She uses it for yoga. The projector has a speaker, so she does not even use the sound system. Don't really need 11 amps and six subs for yoga. She often times watches her old movies she has on DVD on her system. So my wife uses the HT room more than I do. Happy she uses it.
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post #5 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 09:14 AM
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Originally Posted by FiveMillionWays View Post
When we built our new home during the design we agreed the theater was my man cave. Well I had the projector installed and as I hung the screen on the wall (120in Fixed Frame) she walked in and she was saying something to me and then she stopped talking. When I saw the look in her eyes I knew I was in trouble... She had it's my man cave to look in her eyes. My thought was confirmed when we went furniture shopping for the new house and she wanted to look at more theatre seats. Well now I don't get to watch anything in there and she even uses it as her personal office and we have an office downstairs. I have been relegated to our bedroom for my use. So I said to myself there's enough room in here for my own theater. The Optoma P1 would be excellent since I don't want to have it ceiling mounted and a 110 in fixed frame would also fit nicely. For seating, I will do a two-seat chaise so I can really kick back and relax but there is a kicker... She has no idea I'm planning to do this.......
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post #6 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 09:35 AM
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Ha! Ya, if I lived in Texas and my wife said she was taking over the home theater, I'd let her know my new hobby in that case was going to be collecting expensive machine guns ( legal in Texas ! ) and I'd be needing to cash out the retirement accounts.
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post #7 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 10:08 AM - Thread Starter
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Ha! Ya, if I lived in Texas and my wife said she was taking over the home theater, I'd let her know my new hobby in that case was going to be collecting expensive machine guns ( legal in Texas ! ) and I'd be needing to cash out the retirement accounts.
She will love it no doubt. We have a large master suite and there is a 65in Samsung but its not big enough for me. So I'm buying the P1 or perhaps the rs1000. She can't say to much because she took my space. I mean she never leaves it. She will no doubt move out of my cave when she sees what I'm up to lol. I will post some pictures once I'm done with my project.
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post #8 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 10:09 AM - Thread Starter
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Ha! Ya, if I lived in Texas and my wife said she was taking over the home theater, I'd let her know my new hobby in that case was going to be collecting expensive machine guns ( legal in Texas ! ) and I'd be needing to cash out the retirement accounts.
Nah we are stuck together I love my man cave take over wife lol
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post #9 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 10:11 AM - Thread Starter
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Can you turn the now unused office downstairs into a theater ? I wouldn't want a theater in my bedroom - unless my wife was okay with a gang of friends watching Deadpool and drinking single malt in her bedroom too.

No way.. I need a home office and so does she. I think those motorized seats in the theatre are so comfy she can't stay away from them.
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post #10 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 10:18 AM
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Originally Posted by FiveMillionWays View Post
When we built our new home during the design we agreed the theater was my man cave. Well I had the projector installed and as I hung the screen on the wall (120in Fixed Frame) she walked in and she was saying something to me and then she stopped talking. When I saw the look in her eyes I knew I was in trouble... She had it's my man cave to look in her eyes. My thought was confirmed when we went furniture shopping for the new house and she wanted to look at more theatre seats. Well now I don't get to watch anything in there and she even uses it as her personal office and we have an office downstairs. I have been relegated to our bedroom for my use. So I said to myself there's enough room in here for my own theater. The Optoma P1 would be excellent since I don't want to have it ceiling mounted and a 110 in fixed frame would also fit nicely. For seating, I will do a two-seat chaise so I can really kick back and relax but there is a kicker... She has no idea I'm planning to do this.......
My lady is welcome in the cave anytime. The agreement is my cave and the rest of the house is yours to do whatever you want. Small price to pay to have my own space. It's nice that your wife enjoys the hobby also, or at least the end results.
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post #11 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 10:21 AM
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Nah we are stuck together I love my man cave take over wife lol
Don't listen to me - I'm on my 3rd wife ! Luckily my wife loves our theater, even if I did paint things black and add black carpet when she was away on business !
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post #12 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 10:29 AM - Thread Starter
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Don't listen to me - I'm on my 3rd wife ! Luckily my wife loves our theater, even if I did paint things black and add black carpet when she was away on business !
She has even learned all the remote to everything. Still, I think once she sees what I'm doing she is coming right out of there lol. I don't mind her dominating my alleged man cave one bit, she is my wife after all, but I do miss gaming on my big screen.
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post #13 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 10:52 AM
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First rule of the HT bible for married guys: always buy a house with one MORE large room then what you think you need.
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post #14 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 10:58 AM
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We all have sacrifices we have made for our wives or is that we have all sacrificed our wives?

I always get that confused

My wife is welcome to join me in the theater and she does on many occasions, but there is no way in hell I would be building a second setup in my bedroom because my wife has taken over mine.

Won't do it . Can't do it. I would create a space for her that was optimal for her. Like a sewing room , a place to craft , a place to cook, a place to knit. LOL.

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post #15 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 11:01 AM
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That sucks. I had the opposite problem. My wife refused to go into my theater. Even if she wanted to watch a movie, she didn't want to "commit" to watching in the theater. She would rather sit on the couch. If four years, she watched one movie with me. It sounds great until you get the guilt that "you never spend any time with me."

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post #16 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 11:21 AM
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That sucks. I had the opposite problem. My wife refused to go into my theater. Even if she wanted to watch a movie, she didn't want to "commit" to watching in the theater. She would rather sit on the couch. If four years, she watched one movie with me. It sounds great until you get the guilt that "you never spend any time with me."
Move her favorite couch into the theater and get " The Notebook " on Blu-ray to screen for her.
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post #17 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 11:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FiveMillionWays View Post
When we built our new home during the design we agreed the theater was my man cave. Well I had the projector installed and as I hung the screen on the wall (120in Fixed Frame) she walked in and she was saying something to me and then she stopped talking. When I saw the look in her eyes I knew I was in trouble... She had it's my man cave to look in her eyes. My thought was confirmed when we went furniture shopping for the new house and she wanted to look at more theatre seats. Well now I don't get to watch anything in there and she even uses it as her personal office and we have an office downstairs. I have been relegated to our bedroom for my use. So I said to myself there's enough room in here for my own theater. The Optoma P1 would be excellent since I don't want to have it ceiling mounted and a 110 in fixed frame would also fit nicely. For seating, I will do a two-seat chaise so I can really kick back and relax but there is a kicker... She has no idea I'm planning to do this.......
And that, my friends, is why I'm divorced, single and HAPPY!!!
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post #18 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 11:56 AM
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That sucks. I had the opposite problem. My wife refused to go into my theater. Even if she wanted to watch a movie, she didn't want to "commit" to watching in the theater. She would rather sit on the couch. If four years, she watched one movie with me. It sounds great until you get the guilt that "you never spend any time with me."
No guilt. SHE decided not to watch a movie with YOU. In your beloved theater. SHE should feel guilt and shame

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post #19 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 12:02 PM
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No guilt. SHE decided not to watch a movie with YOU. In your beloved theater. SHE should feel guilt and shame

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That's right. I tried to spend quality time with my wife. I can't help it if the screen to too big, it's too loud, or my favorite the chairs recline too much. It's ok, I have three upcoming movie watchers that are happy to go down there and watch Onward for the 17th time.
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OH BOY, i m about to get married soon and all ur stories are not reassuring hahahah.

i m in the process of building my house , so the 1st thing i said that there will be a home theater room for myself, everything else do what u want, of course she ended up getting the biggest room in the house as a master bedroom which is triple the size of my home theater lol.
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post #21 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by siuengr View Post
That's right. I tried to spend quality time with my wife. I can't help it if the screen to too big, it's too loud, or my favorite the chairs recline too much. It's ok, I have three upcoming movie watchers that are happy to go down there and watch Onward for the 17th time.
The loudness okay maybe. Screen too big?? Heresy. Absolute heresy. She must have really hated going to the actual movies. Chairs reclining too much? This slice of pizza is too big, this recliner is too comfortable and this beer too plentiful please bring me smaller portions of each and a stiff hard wooden chair. Said no man. Ever. In the history of man, pizza, recliners or beer. Or so I have heard

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post #22 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 12:22 PM
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OH BOY, i m about to get married soon and all ur stories are not reassuring hahahah.



i m in the process of building my house , so the 1st thing i said that there will be a home theater room for myself, everything else do what u want, of course she ended up getting the biggest room in the house as a master bedroom which is triple the size of my home theater lol.
And so it begins. My wife actually let me build out a home theater 12 years instead of going on a honeymoon. She also bought me a pizza bag 13 years ago because the pizza place I really like is 45 minutes away from our home close to our work. I like to eat pizza at home. I know . I am crazy. But I knew back then she was a keeper.

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post #23 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 12:28 PM
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What a tragic story.

i built a big house for the wife. It's all hers except for one room.

The theater room is mine.

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post #24 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 12:51 PM
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First rule of the HT bible for married guys: always buy a house with one MORE large room then what you think you need.
When I got married and had kids, I had the theater in the family room in a fairly open floor plan. That room was open 2 stories and you passed that room going anywhere in the house. My wife said why don't we add onto the house. I am thinking HT. My wife was thinking large family room with library and fireplace. Ended up building a large room with library and fireplace on one side and HT on the other. This was back in the 90's, so I was using a direct view TV.

Later I added a front projector, but room had a lot of ambient light, so only used the projector at night. One day my wife asked me why I did not add sound panels to the room, like what was done at our new church addition? I never asked because I never thought she would go for that. I let her pick the fabric color and I made wood frames with beveled edges. Some were absorption panels and some were bass traps. I put several up and it helped with the slap echo and bass response. Sounded 10 times better.

After only having half the panels up, my wife looked at it and said, I don't like it. I stopped putting panels up, but did not take any down. A few days later she came to me and said, what if I give you the exercise room upstairs. I said, can I do whatever I want with it? She said yes. I immediately went and painted that room flat black, walls ceiling and trim. I made that room into a dedicated room. I still have the family room setup with a 16:9 screen and have a baffle wall system with scope screen in the dedicated room. That is how I ended up with two rooms. Sometimes compromise is good.
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post #25 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 12:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by siuengr View Post
That sucks. I had the opposite problem. My wife refused to go into my theater. Even if she wanted to watch a movie, she didn't want to "commit" to watching in the theater. She would rather sit on the couch. If four years, she watched one movie with me. It sounds great until you get the guilt that "you never spend any time with me."
For a while my wife would not use the HT system, unless I was going to use it, due to complexity and worried about tearing something up. Was fairly complicated, since it had curved powered masking screen, A-lens on powered slide, active three way LCR's and multiple amps. Now that I have upgraded to a lumagen and fixed DCR lens, the HT system is less complicated than our smart TV and she uses it whenever she wants, without requiring any help from me.
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post #26 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 01:11 PM
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Originally Posted by tnaik4 View Post
OH BOY, i m about to get married soon and all ur stories are not reassuring hahahah.



i m in the process of building my house , so the 1st thing i said that there will be a home theater room for myself, everything else do what u want, of course she ended up getting the biggest room in the house as a master bedroom which is triple the size of my home theater lol.
Better hope your wife doesn't see this: " I'm in the process of building MY HOUSE. " everything that was yours is now ours. Everything that was hers is still hers. LOL.

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post #27 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 01:21 PM
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For a while my wife would not use the HT system, unless I was going to use it, due to complexity and worried about tearing something up. Was fairly complicated, since it had curved powered masking screen, A-lens on powered slide, active three way LCR's and multiple amps. Now that I have upgraded to a lumagen and fixed DCR lens, the HT system is less complicated than our smart TV and she uses it whenever she wants, without requiring any help from me.
Complexity was never the issue. Pressing the "Watch Movie" button brings up the same menu on any TV in the house. It was trying to get her to sit still for two hours. Always has things to do, something to check on, something to posh.
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post #28 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 01:29 PM
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Originally Posted by skylarlove1999 View Post
Better hope your wife doesn't see this: " I'm in the process of building MY HOUSE. " everything that was yours is now ours. Everything that was hers is still hers. LOL.

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hahahhaha , ur right!!!!
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post #29 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 01:29 PM
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Originally Posted by siuengr View Post
Complexity was never the issue. Pressing the "Watch Movie" button brings up the same menu on any TV in the house. It was trying to get her to sit still for two hours. Always has things to do, something to check on, something to posh.
Your wife sounds a lot like mine in that sense. My wife always stays busy doing things around the house. Start watching a movie and she will need to stop to do this and that, like laundry and such.
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post #30 of 91 Old 05-14-2020, 01:30 PM
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When we built our new home during the design we agreed the theater was my man cave. Well I had the projector installed and as I hung the screen on the wall (120in Fixed Frame) she walked in and she was saying something to me and then she stopped talking. When I saw the look in her eyes I knew I was in trouble... She had it's my man cave to look in her eyes. My thought was confirmed when we went furniture shopping for the new house and she wanted to look at more theatre seats. Well now I don't get to watch anything in there and she even uses it as her personal office and we have an office downstairs. I have been relegated to our bedroom for my use. So I said to myself there's enough room in here for my own theater. The Optoma P1 would be excellent since I don't want to have it ceiling mounted and a 110 in fixed frame would also fit nicely. For seating, I will do a two-seat chaise so I can really kick back and relax but there is a kicker... She has no idea I'm planning to do this.......
Best, I can afford two cinema rooms post, evaaaar!

“Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don’t just give up."
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