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Just saw this last night and man was I so tempted to push the fast forward button repeatedly just to keep this movie going. Total rental, and I'll go further by saying you should only rent it if you have absolutely nothing else to rent that night. And watch it on a tv, don't waste your projector's lamp life!


Cage sporting a really bad mullet, slow pacing, 3rd rate special effects, totally lame action (better suited to tv), goofy sidekicks and adversaries, conveniently set in Bangkok just you can see some Asian hotties in tights or less( well, that wasn't completely bad
)


3/10
 

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Have to agree...DON'T waste your time on this POS.

What a disappointment.

Usually NC picks reasonably good films, but Bangkok Dangerous Stupidness is lame and just plain ridiculous.

Synopsis:

We have a super-duper hitman on his last job.

During the setup, the narrative (by our hero) spews out all the "rules" for being a successful killer (in a very flat, dark monotone).

That is: how NOT to get caught or become a casualty in his occupation.

Don't get involved with people, keep a low profile, keep moving, don't let anyone know who you are, etc.

OK...got it, standard stuff.


And then...AND THEN, proceeds to break every single one of his rules, while acting like he has ****e for brains during the entire time.



He falls in love (after 30 seconds of first seeing her) with an innocent little Thai pharmacy clerk that is....drumroll please: DEAF.

Yup, that's right...DEAF and doesn't understand a word of english (no, he can't speak a lick of Thai either).

That's right, class: she can't read his lips and has no idea what he is trying to communicate to her.


As you might guess, this is a match made in heaven.

Seriously folks, did ANYONE involved in the production of this film take 5 seconds to consider how stupid this might appear to an audience?????


Being a super-duper hitman that has been too smart/sly to have ever been caught, our hero decides to make one of his last hits in broad daylight in a canoe on a canal in Bangkok that has more traffic than Interstate 5 during rush hour.



I ****e you not.

His plan is to sit in the front of a dugout with a handful of greens covering his pistol and shoot the baddie coming the opposite way in another canoe at a distance of a dozen feet...in broad daylight with dozens of people around, staring at our European hitman.


I lasted an hour...far longer than I should have (perhaps masochism will always be my cross to bear).


Whatever you do, DON'T make the same mistake I did.

Grab Plan 9 and throw it in your player...you'll thank me later.
 

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Like I usually recommend, watch the original instead of this POS. The original is actually very good.
"Bangkok Dangerous" - 1999 Thai Action/Thriller

The story is of a deaf-mute hitman and his partner who are based in Bangkok. He is friends with his partner's girlfriend who is a stripper at a local club. They go about their assassination business as usual as the boss climbs the underworld ladder and forms new alliances. Flashbacks explain how he got to this point in his life. He forms a relationship with a young woman from the pharmacy who is caring and innocent. The hunts continue as treachery begins. A big name hit makes him realize that good people are hurt by his actions. The first rule of assassination closes in on him as he strikes revenge.


This one is worth the watch.
 

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Haven't watched this, but the hilarious synopses here did not make me remove it from the NF queue. How about "Hitman?" Did you guys like that one at all? I'd call it the best movie that started as a videogame, but that is no accomplishment at all. It did have Bond-babe Olga K looking amazing...
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by victor-eyd /forum/post/15493140


conveniently set in Bangkok just you can see some Asian hotties in tights or less( well, that wasn't completely bad
)

Sold! I am completely smitten with Asian hotties. Mmmmmm....Asian hotties **drool**
 

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what a pile of crap this movie was.. i have not seen this bad movie in a while.. i wish i had seen this thread sooner. Nicolas Cage seemed he was in it only for the paycheck and had a monotonous zombie tone to all his dialogues. I also forwarded through it but it still was not bearable.. 1 and half hours of my life i wont get back
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by IAM4UK /forum/post/15494554


Haven't watched this, but the hilarious synopses here did not make me remove it from the NF queue. How about "Hitman?" Did you guys like that one at all? I'd call it the best movie that started as a videogame, but that is no accomplishment at all. It did have Bond-babe Olga K looking amazing...

Having seen Hitman, I can assure you (in spite of its silliness) it is 10 times a better film.

At least I didn't talk back to the screen....
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Airboss /forum/post/15493993


Like I usually recommend, watch the original instead of this POS. The original is actually very good.
"Bangkok Dangerous" - 1999 Thai Action/Thriller

The story is of a deaf-mute hitman and his partner who are based in Bangkok. He is friends with his partner's girlfriend who is a stripper at a local club. They go about their assassination business as usual as the boss climbs the underworld ladder and forms new alliances. Flashbacks explain how he got to this point in his life. He forms a relationship with a young woman from the pharmacy who is caring and innocent. The hunts continue as treachery begins. A big name hit makes him realize that good people are hurt by his actions. The first rule of assassination closes in on him as he strikes revenge.


This one is worth the watch.

I agree but good luck finding the non P&S version in the US. First Look rerelased their cheapo 4:3 P&S version back in August before the theatrical release of the remake. There was 16:9 version released in Europe a few years back. It deserves a US release in OAR.
 

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Most NC films make me want to vomit in my mouth...even the good ones. Just something about the guy that upsets my gastric juices. This one sounds so bad, I might enjoy it.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Conrad /forum/post/15499011


I agree but good luck finding the non P&S version in the US. First Look rerelased their cheapo 4:3 P&S version back in August before the theatrical release of the remake. There was 16:9 version released in Europe a few years back. It deserves a US release in OAR.

There are 16:9 and Letterbox versions available from places like Sensasian.com, etc.


Sensasian has the Edko Region 3 NSTC DTS Letterbox version and Amazon UK has the Tartan, Anamorphic, PAL, Widescreen All region Dolby Digital version.


The soundtrack of the Edko version is excellent but the transfer is not very good plus it isn't anamorphic. The version to get is the Tartan 16:9 anamorphic widescreen Dolby Digital.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by IAM4UK /forum/post/15494554


Haven't watched this, but the hilarious synopses here did not make me remove it from the NF queue. How about "Hitman?" Did you guys like that one at all? I'd call it the best movie that started as a videogame, but that is no accomplishment at all. It did have Bond-babe Olga K looking amazing...

I thought Hitman was a pretty good film. Even without Olga....



Seggers
 

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You KNOW I have to rent this now, just to see how bad it is...I'll match it with Babylon A.D. as long as I'm bottom feeding
.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chewbacco /forum/post/15502454


You KNOW I have to rent this now, just to see how bad it is...I'll match it with Babylon A.D. as long as I'm bottom feeding
.

Be sure to park your brain before sitting down to watch BD.

Trust me on this....



Babylon is in my queue.

It would surprise me if it is as bad as this steaming pile...

I give sci-fi a lot of latitude, within the confines of my double-digit IQ.
 

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The lack of a rental option on the original is certainly a pisser. You just cannot find it. ou habve to import it, in PAL, if you want to watch it and I no longer buy films sight unseen. Won't do it.


LionsGate insisted on changes to the plot for the remake and the Pang Brothers went along with it. LionsGate and the Pang Brothers also agreed that the scenes in the strip clubs and dance joint should have ZERO NUDITY, as opposed to the real thin in Bangkok, where nudity is all around you and guy are getting BJ's right there at the bar. No, I am not kidding.


So basically, this Hollywood remake is a complete fantasy, taking place in a world only Hollywood could create.


Haven't seen it myself. I was going to, but then I saw a clip on TV of one of the action scenes and was stunned at how badly it was shot and edited. I kept wondering, has this scene been cut up for Network TV or something? WTF?


I may rent it this weekend if nothing else is out there. I have a free coupon.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt_Stevens /forum/post/15505559


The lack of a rental option on the original is certainly a pisser. You just cannot find it. ou habve to import it, in PAL, if you want to watch it and I no longer buy films sight unseen. Won't do it.

The original is available from NetFlix, unfortunately it is the First Look 4:3 version; even so it is worth a rent.


Screen Formats:

Full Screen 1.33:1


Subtitles: English

Language and Sound:

Thai: Dolby Digital 5.1

Original Release Date: 2000
 

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Okay, I removed it from the queue. You guys win...
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Airboss /forum/post/15505616


The original is available from NetFlix, unfortunately it is the First Look 4:3 version; even so it is worth a rent.


Screen Formats:

Full Screen 1.33:1


Subtitles: English

Language and Sound:

Thai: Dolby Digital 5.1

Original Release Date: 2000

Cool.

I guess this is the version I should have put in my queue in the first place...
 

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I quit Netflix after they failed to send me a movie for four straight weeks. The entire queue was on Long Wait or Very Long Wait and I had two dozen films in it. They pretty much became worthless.


Blockbuster's rental plan has the crappy cropped version, but it has been on Very Long Wait for MONTHS. When that happens with an older film, it means the film will never EVER be shipped to you. I know because none ever have with Very Long Wait (this is for older films, not new releases).
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt_Stevens /forum/post/15510282


I quit Netflix after they failed to send me a movie for four straight weeks. The entire queue was on Long Wait or Very Long Wait and I had two dozen films in it. They pretty much became worthless.


Blockbuster's rental plan has the crappy cropped version, but it has been on Very Long Wait for MONTHS. When that happens with an older film, it means the film will never EVER be shipped to you. I know because none ever have with Very Long Wait (this is for older films, not new releases).

I have just the opposite experiences with NetFlix. Older films are shipped quickly but new release take forever (every new release I select has "Very Long Wait") but the older movies are sent right away.


Just added the orginal version of Bangkok Dangerous to my queue and moved it to the number 1 spot and it shows "Available Now" (removed it since I all ready have two copies - 4:3 version and the 16:9 version)
 
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