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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
No, this is not the Brittney Spears story (dammit!) This is boogie man/boobmeister Jess Franco's gonzo soft core opus of sinister snugglebunnies and pseudo Sadism. But first, A DIRE WARNING TO THOSE NOT EASILY OFFENDED, there are many scenes of dialog where people are fully clothed and absolutely no sex is happening what-so-ever! Yep, and not only that, but, there's an underlying fashion sense on display so hideous and horrifying that it could only be described as Yellow Submarine by way of Madam Tussauds and Spongebob Squarepants. But, I digress (like this hole review isn't digression.)


Enter our heroine (well, not quite yet anyway) Eugenie (which is apparently pronounced in that insinuating European cadence "Oogeenie".) She's young, firm, innocent. A mall rat. A vixen (and with enough junk-in-the-trunk to make J Lo look like Calista Flockhart.) And as we're about to find out, she's a currency too - bought and paid for in a liason with a lascivious Contessa and Oogenie's dastardly Dad (this transaction transpires in what is surely the only incident in recorded history of a hot blonde boinking a bald guy.)


So, it's off to an island paradise for our fair Oogenie. Once there, she is summarily greeted by the Contessa, a mute maid, (who is alternately slapped and kissed) a guitar totin' karaoke black dude, (don't ask) and least, but not last, the Contessa's creep-a-thon, pervo, leering, Lurch-like lummox of a brother. Yep, this grab-ass goomba is gonna have a bright future in either the priesthood, NAMBLA, or as a Vertical Blind salesman (what the hell WAS that goofball doing with those window cover cords - landing a Cessna or signaling tuna boats?!)


There's alot of top dropping, breast caress, and nipple nuzzling, but director Jessy definitely gets penalized for a lack o' back field in motion - if ya know what I mean. The next thing you know Christopher Lee pops up with a ream of rejects from Let's Make a Deal who proceed to flog the flotsam out of poor Oogenie with what looks like a Parsley sprig attached to dental floss. Not to worry though, Chrissy boy is not there to enter the submarine races, just intone ominously from the book of the Marquis (though thirty years hence, he would really engender the fanboy boners in those lame-o Lucas and Jackson jamborees.)


So, before you know it, there are triple crosses, psycho shish-ka-bob, and spleen removals with nail file, tire gauge, and a grapefruit spoon.


And, I hear ole Franco has dozens and dozens of these celluloid soirees in his pornfollio (jeez, he must be cranking these suckers out on the way to Starbucks, while drying his underwear, or during his daughter's Girl Scout meetings.)


Anyway, in the time it took me to write this, he must have done three features, four public service announcements, two commercials, and a music video.


The way I figure it, that's 2.6 boobs per word...give or take an areola...


Hey, whatever gets the old lady in the mood...
 

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One word review on Eugenie: HOT. Very nice looking bod, good daylight photography.


As interesting as Jess Franco is, there are two other directors who are even kinkier. Radley Metzger (The Image) and Pierre Woodman (Pyramid 1,2,3). Too bad you can't rent the Pyramid series on Netflix. Tania Russof, the star, is one sizzling hot woman. She may have single-handedly breached the iron curtain and ended the cold war by merely unstrapping her bra. Whew, my temperature is rising ...
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Ah, Ollie,


A wellspring, as ever.


So, if I were to sample Metzger, then, which one?

The Cat and the Canary and Therese & Isabelle seem to have the most support on Netflix.
 

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Ah, Jess Franco. His recent work is appalling- just another old has-been with a video camera- but everyone for a taste in this sort of thing should check out 1969's Justine, both for a very young and appealing Romina Powers (daughter of Tyrone, and a buxom lass) and probably the most bizarre appearance by Jack Palance ever, anywhere. Jack seems to be so drunk he can barely stand up and ad-libbing all his lines. Oh, and Klaus Kinski's in it as well, so there's your kink pedigree in a nutshell.


As for Radley, his films strike me as rather tame even by the standards of the day but maybe I've seen the wrong ones. He seemed to consider himself a serious auteur and never sinks to the levels a good "b" exploitation film requires (a fault that Franco certainly does NOT share).
 

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If you read my dossier ( http://www.dvdverdict.com/dossiers/rlineberger.shtml ), you'll see that I list Eugenie as #10 in my list of underappreciated gems. You can read the review here: http://www.dvdverdict.com/reviews/eugenie.shtml.


If you go into it with a "poke fun" mindset, then you'll be rewarded. There is a high camp factor if you take certain scenes (such as the whipping) literally. Or you can suspend frivolity for a while and notice the truly artistic touches, such as the fantastic score and great cinematography. Not to mention two ultrahot women.
 

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By the way, if you want the real deal as far as exploitation is concerned, check out D'Amato's Emanuelle in America. Warning, they go the full monty, so to speak. Laura Gemser is stunning, and a handful of unclad unknowns make up the balance.
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by nowknown
Ah, Ollie,


A wellspring, as ever.


So, if I were to sample Metzger, then, which one?


The Cat and the Canary and Therese & Isabelle seem to have the most support on Netflix.
Therese & Isabelle is a bit too tame, i.e., not hard core enough, for me.


C&C is a good movie, but from the mystery/thriller perspective. But it comes in #3 compared to the silent version (1927) and Bob Hope's talkie version (1939). I really look forward to Hope's version showing up on dvd one of these days. It's a real gem. An evening with C&C and Ghost Breakers (both starring Bob Hope and Paulette Goddard) would be a nice treat.
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by The Swarm
If you read my dossier ( http://www.dvdverdict.com/dossiers/rlineberger.shtml ), you'll see that I list Eugenie as #10 in my list of underappreciated gems. You can read the review here: http://www.dvdverdict.com/reviews/eugenie.shtml.
When you get to Maria Beatty's fetish videos, please post your thoughts. Black Glove (1997) recently came out on dvd, and has not yet accumulated 5 votes on imdb.

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0305306/combined


I'd like to rate this (since I own it), but I was put off by her feet and the toe-sucking scene, and never managed to finish the movie. A woman's feet are very important to me, and unless balanced by another good looking physical asset, it's pause and eject time ...


Anyway, there are so many good looking women to watch on video these days, why spend time viewing Maria Beatty, or Maria Ford, for that matter, when Stephanie Swift is available?
 

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Is Black Glove an adult film? If so, I probably won't be reviewing it anytime soon. I did review Eugenie, and The Emmanuelle Collection, both of which are soft core. But I was asked not to post a review of Emanuelle in America due to the hardcore content. DVD Verdict wants to maintain a hardcore-free review database.


If Black Glove is not hardcore, I'll request it.
 
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