firedawg24,
The software solutions you mentions are geared exactly for the issues that you are having. An IR remote control won't do the problem justice (relatively speaking).
You might also be interested that we just released an iPHone / iTouch user interface for selecting movies via DVDLobby (that interacts and controls PowerDVD). So, today, you can control PowerDVD and launch movies from your iPhone. Pretty neat
We will be adding more support for the iPhone and other similar devices in the very near future. This is just the start of leveraging capabilities that MLServer3 has.
But, none of those powerful solutions is free, and it is subjective whether they are expensive. I think Girder is the cheapest, but also will require you hours upon hours to not get where CQC or MainLobby would be, and in one night you can have implemented in at least MainLobby (subject to user experience, etc).
When considering expensive...what is your time worth, and how much have you already spent on nice hardware that no one other than you in the house can use? Think ROI
And, if you like to tinker, tons to play with and customize and tweek (all three you mention). Not really the case of an IR solution (other than macros). And not the case for sure with MCE unless you are a capable software developer.