The HTM2-DR should be decent since it's a 3 way design, but at $4K a pop it's only $3,000 more than what it probably should cost.
Oh well, if you have money to burn and a wife who won't be denied then it is what it is.
A sub doesn't have to be so tiny if you put it in a corner, which is where you will maximize its output through boundary reinforcement...especially if your room is not fully enclosed but opens up to adjacent spaces (open plan) and/or has high ceilings. The sub interacts with all CONTIGUOUS space, not just the actual listening area.
It's very easy to disguise a sub as a lamp and/or plant stand. Since you're using bookshelf speakers not towers, the sub is essential and if you watch a lot of blockbuster action/thriller movies, it will be worth its weight in gold.
What to look for:
1. Since HT is 90% of your usage, I'd stick to PORTED not SEALED subs.
2. SIZE: The larger the enclosure, the better.
3. WEIGHT: The heavier it is, usually the better components/hardware inside.
4. WATTS
5. 3db roll off: the lower the better
Since you clearly have an ample budget, you would probably be happiest with this sub which has an attractive cabinet and a nice app that lets you control it from your phone, great customer service and free return shipping both ways:
The ultimate ported box home subwoofer. Earth-shaking levels of bass far below human hearing limits, yet incredibly accurate, detailed and controlled.
www.svsound.com