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1.) Can you tell me why it's not considered a sub woofer and what part of the range is not being reproduced?
2.) As a dealer what's better in the $500-600 range?
3.) As far as my B&w speakers are concerned do you think I just don't have them setup right? The trouble I have with them is sometimes I have trouble hearing and understanding voices when they talk softly which forces me to up the volume, then when explosions or the music starts playing it's too loud. I can't seem to find the right balance.
4.) I guess being a noob at this I don't know what to look for as far as specs, I can only use my ears. The problem with listening to speakers at the stores they always have them hooked up to high end coponents so every speaker system you listen to sounds great.
To try and answer your questions in order....
1.) Obviously, all "subwoofers" are different in their design and performance. Typically however, their ability to go deep (down to as low as 10 Hz or even farther) with any authority or output that low (say anything above 95 db's) increases with the amount you pay for the sub. IOW, a higher end sub (custom designed driver, thick heavily braced cabinet, custom designed plate amp etc) will play louder, at lower frequency levels, without distortion that a cheaply constructed sub (cheap driver, thin cabinet with little to no bracing, crappy plate amp etc).
The little Bose bass module has an 8" bass driver in a small box that struggles to get down to 35 - 40 Hz (if it even gets that far) with any kind of authority. There are tons and tons of "real" subwoofers that can play down to 25-30 Hz with some punch at prices WAY less than Bose.
2.) I'm not a dealer.... and only YOU can decide what is better for YOU by actually auditioning and listening with your own ears. I highly recommend keeping a journal and use the same reference material when auditioning speakers. You typically have a very limited auditory memory. But, if you write it down and be very descriptive of exactly what you hear, it will help you when you look back through your journal and compare what you've already heard to what you are currently listening to.
3.) The grab the remote to turn the volume up and down is a VERY common problem with HT's. Sometimes it has to do with a poorly recorded soundtrack on the movie (why in the world some engineers crank the volume of the "background" music so damn high is beyond me). And, positioning could be a small portion of the problem. However, the usual culprit of this problem, is a poor center channel. Again, as you get into higher end speakers, this becomes less and less of a problem.
For example, one center channel that is legendary in it's ability to make the remote grabbing a thing of the past, is AV123's RSC-200 or "Bigfoot" as it's comonly known. But, that center channel speaker costs what you have for your entire budget. My own AUDES Sentral center channel is also very, VERY good. But again, it lists for $599.
In some situations, the center channel is so bad, you are much better off, and will get a lot better sound from the middle.... if you shut the thing off entirely and go phantom center. Just select no center channel speaker on your receivers set up menu and it will divide the center channel information between the R/L mains.
4.) Well, those that know me, know how I feel about reading manufacturer's "specs." I've NEVER seen a spec on a piece of paper or a computer screen that I can actually hear. And, even if the specs were measured correctly (some manufacturers are very suspect at this), the speakers aren't going to measure the same in your own room anyway.... so I feel they are basically pointless. Except for possibly a VERY rudimentary idea of what a speaker may be capable of. But that's about it IMHO.
As for speakers being hooked up to high end components, I find that most dealers tend to hook up matching gear. While components will have less of an over all impact on the sound of your system than the speakers will, you usually won't find dealers using entry level components hooked up to high end speakers. Just as they typically wouldn't connect budget speakers to a Denon AVR 5808.
In the end, it's always best to make your final audition in your own home, on your own gear, with your own ears.
With your more limited budget, I might suggest you start out with spending that amount on a pair of R/L mains. Then when the budget allows, add a decent sub, then a center channel speaker and finally the surrounds. By doing this, you will end up with a MUCH nicer sounding system (hopefully), than blowing your entire budget on a complete package to start off with that is underwhelming and doesn't give you any real satisfaction. One, which you'll be itching to replace in very short order, and have to spend that amount and more all over again anyway.