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1. GODZILLA (1998)


Godawful more like. After stomping into Japanese cinemas way back in 1954, the towering lizard returned in this monstrous remake.


Barely a film, it was more like two hours of unconvincing special effects plus blatant product placement.


Oh, and it starred Matthew Broderick.

2. ROLLERBALL (2002)


The original wasn’t much good and the remake was worse.


Set in the near future (actually 2005), the sport of rollerball has taken the world by storm.


The rules? Sorry, I’ve no idea – and neither did the director.


It involves teams of skaters tossing a ball around. Still, at least the 1975 version starred James Caan.


This one featured LL Cool J and Chris “American Pie†Klein.

3. GET CARTER (2000)


Michael Caine is one of the world’s great actors.


Sylvester Stallone isn’t, but that didn’t stop the star of Rambo, Rocky and, er, Cobra, from appearing in this update of Caine’s 1971 British gangster movie.


Only this time, the hero went from complex character to leaden lump with a penchant for tight suits and macho posturing.

4. PLANET OF THE APES (2001)


Mark Wahlberg played an astronaut who somehow ended up on a planet where apes ruled and humans were hunted for sport.


The ending was actually pretty good.


The hour and a half leading up to it wasn’t.

5. PSYCHO (1998)


Not only did it use the 1960 original’s screenplay, score and title design, it actually copied almost every scene.


The only difference was the cast, the fact it was in colour and the lack of tension.

6. THE STEPFORD WIVES (2004)


“The wives of Stepford have a secret,†said the poster.


If only they’d kept it to themselves because here was a movie to horrify fans of the original.


Remember the first film from 1975?


Remember how creepy it was to see Katherine Ross slowly uncovering a sinister robotic conspiracy in the small town of Stepford?


This time around they played it for laughs as Nicole Kidman and Matthew Broderick (yes, him again) sensed all was not well in middle America.

7. BEDAZZLED (2000)


n the 1968 version, Dudley Moore sold his soul to the devil in the hope of sweeping a waitress (Eleanor Bron) off her feet.


More than 30 years later, Hurley grabbed a trident to tempt Brendan Fraser – with less than hilarious results.


Rarely has the word “needless†been more relevant.

8. SOLARIS (2002)


The 1972 movie was conceived as a Soviet answer to Stanley Kubrick’s sci-fi epic 2001: A Space Odyssey.


Clocking in at nearly three hours, it was actually pretty boring, but still better than the George Clooney remake 30 years later.


Basking in the success of Ocean’s 11, Clooney played a psychologist sent to investigate mysterious events on a spaceship.


Not much happened. Still, at least it was an hour shorter than the original.

9. THE HAUNTING (1999)


Some horror buffs say Robert Wise’s 1963 chiller is the greatest haunted house movie ever.


Nobody says that about the remake which ditched atmosphere and characterisation in favour of gee-whiz special effects.


This time it was up to Liam Neeson, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Lili Taylor and Owen Wilson to spend a few nights in a spooky old mansion.


And frightful it was.

10. KING KONG (1976)


When King Kong hit cinemas in 1933, audiences were wowed at the groundbreaking use of stop-motion effects.


Seventies audiences probably weren’t so awed at the sight of a man in a monkey suit bringing the giant gorilla to life.


Bizarrely, the cast (including Jessica Lange and Jeff Bridges) decided to play it for laughs. Paramount wasn’t smiling when they saw the box-office returns.


Peter Jackson – who brought us the Lord Of The Rings trilogy – is set to deliver a new version in December.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by REWJR
7. BEDAZZLED (2000)


In the 1968 version, Dudley Moore sold his soul to the devil in the hope of sweeping a waitress (Eleanor Bron) off her feet.


More than 30 years later, Hurley grabbed a trident to tempt Brendan Fraser – with less than hilarious results.


Rarely has the word “needless†been more relevant.
This was the film that flashed in my mind when I saw your thread title. I LOVE the original and have no use for a remake. I don't believe anyone could better it, so what's the point?
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by REWJR
8. SOLARIS (2002)


The 1972 movie was conceived as a Soviet answer to Stanley Kubrick’s sci-fi epic 2001: A Space Odyssey.


Clocking in at nearly three hours, it was actually pretty boring, but still better than the George Clooney remake 30 years later.


Basking in the success of Ocean’s 11, Clooney played a psychologist sent to investigate mysterious events on a spaceship.


Not much happened. Still, at least it was an hour shorter than the original.
I have no qualms with the rest of the list, but I couldn't disagree more with this inclusion. Solaris is a thoughtful, patient movie and is one of my favorites from 2002. It's a fascinating look at someone who can't let go and I couldn't get it out of my head for days.


The biggest problem was its marketing. The studio had no idea how to sell it so sci-fi thriller fans walked away disappointed and those seeking a love story couldn't get past the sci-fi setting.
 

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That list begins and ends with the PSYCHO remake. Terrible idea.
 

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You liked the ending to Planet of the Apes? With the altered Earth? That ending made the least amount of sense of any movie ever. If, instead, at the end they all started singing and dancing like on that episode of Simpsons it would've made fifty times more sense.
 

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Hey Nothru22,


I didn't think the ending on that movie made any sense either. A while back I saw it on FX where they show all the DVD bonus features and they explained it. They said that after mark's character went into the space portal back to earth, Tim Roth went and took the first ship that mark landed in the swamp and went into space. Just like earlier in the film the second ship through the portal comes out earlier in time. So tim got there way earlier and somehow took over earth.


But it still doesn't make sense because how could he know how to fly a spaceship, let alone one that's trashed and then singlehandedly conquer a planet.


If you already knew all this then disregard the post.


rdpiercy
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kram Sacul
Solaris doesn't belong on that list.


Right... I want the three hours of my life that the original sucked out of me (a-la Princess Bride's torture device) in the 70's. This was after being convinced to see it by college buddies and rave reviews.


At least the remake was briefer, and looked pretty too.


I'd have to agree with the selection of Godzilla on the list. Horrible, just horrible...
 

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Delighted to see there are defenders for the singular stellar jewel of comtemplative brooding psychodrama, Solaris.


I found this to be, from the first frames, riveting, immersive, and deeply affecting. My enthrallment was rendered even more rapturous by the fact that I'd not expected much, but no standard superficial action romp here -- here we had a thinking man's dark ruminations on the profound depth of isolation/alienation inherent to the human condition -- in this case set in relief against the Clooney character's bereavement and subsequent relocation stationing to a remote space outpost where extraordinary events are unfolding.


Stylistically stark in the manner of 2001, this is the human side of the deep space equation wherein our fondest aspirations as individuals and the choices we make to enact our destinies are explored in the ostensible sci-fi motif -- but please, I implore you, DO NOT approach it as akin to such spirited, clamorous, kinetic fare as Star Wars -- here the infinite space is strictly interior -- the realm of the heart, soul and emotion. Far from a drama wherein nothing happens, we traverse the complex depths of the psyche and revisit our deepest feelings on the most essential and eternal questions set before man, the mystery of identity -- in what way and to what extent that might be dependant upon our relations with other (seeming) identities or persons? -- what destiny might we choose if we were the sole architect of our reality but ultimately utterly alone?


Bearing similarity to such would-be aspirants to esoteric psychic terror as Sphere and Event Horizon, this remake is vastly superior to either in its ability to forge a meaningful, supremely believable and emotionally gravid other-reality, this in no small measure due to the breathtaking, virtually peerless ensemble acting -- just a remarkable tour-de-force of acting brilliance which for that feature alone made it one of the best, most memorable movies I've ever seen -- Clooney blew me away, but I don't think he was necessarily the best of the lot here -- everyone involved was just superb.


Now all that said, if it was one of the worst remakes, does that then imply that it did not adequately capture the crappiness of the original? -- or perhaps it implies that the original was the best movie of all time and that this remake, by not quite matching it, has somewhat failed -- you answer as I've not seen the original, though now that I am reminded, perhaps it is time to rectify that omission.
 

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We do know that in the book "Planet of the Apes", that started it all, the astronauts escaped back to earth, travelling further into the future on the return trip, only to find apes in charge here too.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by REWJR
7. BEDAZZLED (2000)


n the 1968 version, Dudley Moore sold his soul to the devil in the hope of sweeping a waitress (Eleanor Bron) off her feet.


More than 30 years later, Hurley grabbed a trident to tempt Brendan Fraser – with less than hilarious results.


Rarely has the word “needless†been more relevant.
Look anything that gets Liz Hurley in a bikini running down the beach can't be all that bad IMHO.

http://www.preview-online.com/july_a...images/p51.gif


:D
 

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Quote:
You liked the ending to Planet of the Apes? With the altered Earth? That ending made the least amount of sense of any movie ever. If, instead, at the end they all started singing and dancing like on that episode of Simpsons it would've made fifty times more sense.
When the DVD came out I watched it with my kids who were only familiar with the Simpsons episode .My daughter who was 10 at the time leaned over to me after about 15 minutes and said "Daddy when do they start singing" :p

Andrew
 

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Sorry, but I love Godzilla '98.....it's a really good 'popcorn' flick. And I really think Planet of the Apes would have to be (the No.1) mother of all bad remakes.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emaych
Delighted to see there are defenders for the singular stellar jewel of comtemplative brooding psychodrama, Solaris.


I found this to be, from the first frames, riveting, immersive, and deeply affecting. My enthrallment was rendered even more rapturous by the fact that I'd not expected much, but no standard superficial action romp here -- here we had a thinking man's dark ruminations on the profound depth of isolation/alienation inherent to the human condition -- in this case set in relief against the Clooney character's bereavement and subsequent relocation stationing to a remote space outpost where extraordinary events are unfolding.


Stylistically stark in the manner of 2001, this is the human side of the deep space equation wherein our fondest aspirations as individuals and the choices we make to enact our destinies are explored in the ostensible sci-fi motif -- but please, I implore you, DO NOT approach it as akin to such spirited, clamorous, kinetic fare as Star Wars -- here the infinite space is strictly interior -- the realm of the heart, soul and emotion. Far from a drama wherein nothing happens, we traverse the complex depths of the psyche and revisit our deepest feelings on the most essential and eternal questions set before man, the mystery of identity -- in what way and to what extent that might be dependant upon our relations with other (seeming) identities or persons? -- what destiny might we choose if we were the sole architect of our reality but ultimately utterly alone?


Bearing similarity to such would-be aspirants to esoteric psychic terror as Sphere and Event Horizon, this remake is vastly superior to either in its ability to forge a meaningful, supremely believable and emotionally gravid other-reality, this in no small measure due to the breathtaking, virtually peerless ensemble acting -- just a remarkable tour-de-force of acting brilliance which for that feature alone made it one of the best, most memorable movies I've ever seen -- Clooney blew me away, but I don't think he was necessarily the best of the lot here -- everyone involved was just superb.


Now all that said, if it was one of the worst remakes, does that then imply that it did not adequately capture the crappiness of the original? -- or perhaps it implies that the original was the best movie of all time and that this remake, by not quite matching it, has somewhat failed -- you answer as I've not seen the original, though now that I am reminded, perhaps it is time to rectify that omission.
I agree with Frasier. Solaris doesn't belong on the list.
 

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I did not see the original "Solaris," but it is hard to imagine it being bad enough to inspire such a subsequent mess. Surely it must have had some redeeming grace - something it's copy did not.
 

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I thought Bedazzled was pretty funny, not great, but a fun popcorn movie.....especially when he became the sensitive guy. I agree about Solaris, that was an interesting movie...I haven't seen the original. Planet of the Apes and Godzilla definitely deserve to be on the list....pure crap, the rest of the list is pretty much spot on also.
 

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I did not see the original "Solaris," but it is hard to imagine it being bad enough to inspire such a subsequent mess. Surely it must have had some redeeming grace.


Well, it was made by someone whom the arthouse crowd considers one of the greatest filmmakers of the second half of the century, Andrei Tarkovsky. It is more than a bit slow, and for sci-fi weirdness I prefer his Stalker, which is also rather slow.
 

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The original Rollerball was a pretty darn good sci-fi effort, commenting on a dystopian future in which nation-states had dissolved, individuality was surpressed, and huge corporations rule the world. Sort of the natural evolution of predatory, no-holds-barred capitalism as practiced by Enron and many others today. A scary look at a very possible future. Plus, a career-best performance by one of my favorite actors, James Caan.


The remake was supremely awful. It made no similar social commentary and committed the worst sin of all: it was flat out boring.
 

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I would have included the first Brady movie or does that not count since it was from a TV show?


The 70s Kong was bad but wonder if it takes on new overtones now since he was atop the World Trade Center?
 
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