[QQQ]

1. Through some freak accident or whatever, you have just developed super human strength/super human powers. You can dodge bullets, pick up a car with one hand, walk through walls, and kick anyone’s ass that messes with you. Your superhuman powers have saved your life about 10 times. Do you:


A. Celebrate your endless energy and strength and use it to attract babes.

B. Lament the horrible “burden†of having super powers and long for the good old days when you were mortal and got your ass kicked every day.


2.......

 

[Gr8full]

2. You're alone and surrounded by a dozen bad guys armed with uzis. You on the other hand have your faithful 6 shooter.


A. Do you try to slip away knowing you don't stand a chance

or

B. Do you go ahead and take them all on hoping it's a magic 6 shooter that never runs out of bullets.


3....

 

[QQQ]

Quote:

Originally posted by Gr8full 2. You're alone and surrounded by a dozen bad guys armed with uzis. You on the other hand have your faithful 6 shooter. A. Do you try to slip away knowing you don't stand a chance or B. Do you go ahead and take them all on hoping it's a magic 6 shooter that never runs out of bullets. 3....

Reminds me of an old western scene with Charles Bronson. Bronson is standing there by himself facing down 3 bad guys. The 3 bad guys have 3 horses. Bronson comments that they brought the wrong number of horses. The bad guys laugh manically and ask him what he means. Bronson draws and blows all three of them away and then comments "You brought two too many" (he then leaves on one of the horses).


Anyhow, on to 3...

 

[Urchinn]

I'm gonna lose it the next time I see someone holding a pistol sideways, head-butting a foe, or walk away looking cool/unconcerned while something blows up in the background. Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh!

 

[QQQ]

3. You are a politician or policeman or whatever. An assassin or mobster or whatever has sworn to kill you. Do you:


A. Agree to police protection or to cancel that political speech you have on Saturday where the assassin has announced he'll kill you.

B. Insist that you aren't going to let a mobster or assassin that has killed/and or tortured hundreds of people make you change your routine because "we can't let them intimidate us" and that you aren't going to live your life any different than normal. But as if that's not stupid enough, you get upset at those that try take extra precautions to protect you.

 

[FredProgGH]

4) You're a police chief in a major urban area. Your best cop has screwed up again, blowing away four kids for jay-walking and spitting on the bodies in front of a TV reporter. Do you:


A) Give him a raise because, damnit, someone has to clean this friggin' town up

B) team him up with that snot nosed rookie who thinks he knows it all because he was at the top of his class in the academy, but really he doesn't know jack about the streets- causing both men, once they get past the friction, to learn something about life and themselves.

 

[Cor]

Quote:

Reminds me of an old western scene with Charles Bronson. Bronson is standing there by himself facing down 3 bad guys. The 3 bad guys have 3 horses. Bronson comments that they brought the wrong number of horses. The bad guys laugh manically and ask him what he means. Bronson draws and blows all three of them away and then comments "You brought two too many" (he then leaves on one of the horses).

That's from "Once Upon a Time in the West" I believe, although Chuck blows them away after delivering the horse line. This scene actually wasn't that bad since Chuck takes one in the arm in the process and actually blacks out because of it! In most westerns you have to pop 4 or 5 bullets in the good guy before he stumbles off to his horse, rides 100 miles, and then finally blacks out on the love interest's porch.


Anyways, here's one:


5. You are a ultra-intelligent arch-villain on the brink of ruling the world and have everything going the way you planned it to go. This includes the capture of the one man on the planet who could possibly stop you, who is currently standing before you in chains between two of your best 250-pound bodyguards. Do you:


A. Pull out a gun and execute him immediately.

B. Explain your nefarious plan for world domination to your Nemesis, place him in an elaborate death trap with one crucial flaw, order your guards to go pick up some donuts, laugh maniacally for 30 seconds, and finally leave him by himself and go work on your back-swing.

 

[QQQ]

Quote:

Originally posted by FredProgGH 4) You're a police chief in a major urban area. Your best cop has screwed up again, blowing away four kids for jay-walking and spitting on the bodies in front of a TV reporter. Do you: A) Give him a raise because, damnit, someone has to clean this friggin' town up B) team him up with that snot nosed rookie who thinks he knows it all because he was at the top of his class in the academy, but really he doesn't know jack about the streets- causing both men, once they get past the friction, to learn something about life and themselves.

Ah yes, what cliche list would be complete without that one and a hundred of its variants including the male cop forced to work with the female cop, who either:


A. Rides her endlessly at the beginning only to end up riding her in bed by the end.


B. Rides her endlessly at the beginning only to come to love her like a big brother by the end.


Also, who wrote the rule that police always have to treat their new partners like garbage and don't want to have them as a partner?

 

[rezzy]

Quote:

Originally posted by Cor Anyways, here's one: 5. You are a ultra-intelligent arch-villain on the brink of ruling the world and have everything going the way you planned it to go. This includes the capture of the one man on the planet who could possibly stop you, who is currently standing before you in chains between two of your best 250-pound bodyguards. Do you: A. Pull out a gun and execute him immediately. B. Explain your nefarious plan for world domination to your Nemesis, place him in an elaborate death trap with one crucial flaw, order your guards to go pick up some donuts, laugh maniacally for 30 seconds, and finally leave him by himself and go work on your back-swing.

At first I thought the cliches' were gonna' count down starting at 100. Nevertheless, selection B) has to be the number 1 cliche'! (typical Bond plot) Have to give the potential hero/heroine time to escape and foil the plan, you know. Selection A) would probably befall 006 and 008, but never you know who.

 

[kevinp8192]

6. You're a criminal or maybe a cop with an attitude, and you've just planted an explosive in a building/car/boat that will go off in a just a few seconds. Do you:


A. Run for cover so your not blown away or hit by one of the 1000's of pieces of debris shooting through the air.

B. Calmly walk away from the scene, never looking back while the explosion blasts just a few feet behind you. And hey, why not have a cigarette?

 

[RobertWood]

Of course the number one movie cliche of all, is taking a heavy steel gun and slamming it with all one's might onto the back or top of another's skull, at which point the slamee goes unconcious, and upon awakening has only a headache which goes away by rubbing it. Never has it resulted in compound fractures of the skull or brain damage or severe lacerations or other serious injury or death.

 

[FredProgGH]

Or the variant of the above:


7) A bomb is about to go off about 3 feet from you- a big one. Do you:


A) Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye, or

B) run like hell because you will be able to outrun the fireball, even if it means jumping out a 60' window.


If the bomb is nuclear, you'll need a motorcycle to outrun it.

 

[FredProgGH]

This one is strictly for Samurai movies. The rules are:


If you are the good guy and you touch a bad guy with your sword, he's dead.


However, if the bad guy runs you through the chest you're still going to live.


And need I mention the classic kung-fu "only attack one at a time, never all at once" scenario!!

 

[QQQ]

Quote:

Originally posted by rezzy At first I thought the cliches' were gonna' count down starting at 100. Nevertheless, selection B) has to be the number 1 cliche'! (typical Bond plot) Have to give the potential hero/heroine time to escape and foil the plan, you know. Selection A) would probably befall 006 and 008, but never you know who.

Well if you want to get technical about it the following would absolutely have to be # 1! It has so many variations they are too numerous to name.


9. You are in a death struggle with a madman, serial killer etc....................................... and as he's choking you to death you manage to grab an ash tray and knock the s**t out of him with it. He's down. Do you:


A. Finish the job off. Slam him in the head again with that ash tray or stomp on his b***s.

B. Do everything humanly possible to help him finish the job he started by leaving the knife/gun that fell out of his hand when you hit him a few feet away from him while you run to the phone or door....


And of course when you finally do finish him off after you've given him 10 more opportunities to kill you, you only do it 99% so he can reach for the gun one last time after you left him for dead.

 

[QQQ]

Quote:

Originally posted by FredProgGH Or the variant of the above: 7) A bomb is about to go off about 3 feet from you- a big one. Do you: A) Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye, or B) run like hell because you will be able to outrun the fireball, even if it means jumping out a 60' window. If the bomb is nuclear, you'll need a motorcycle to outrun it.

My favorite example of this one is the Steven Seagal movie Under Siege II where Seagal is inside the train and outruns the train reck running to the rear of the train as it's exploding. Hilarious.

 

[Fredoh]

way to damn close last minute saves. Neo picking everyon off of the 18 wheeler while its being crumbled in a head on collision in Reloaded. Hated that scene.


ALso, guy about to retire, be sent home, about to get married, who dies a horrible death.

 

[FredProgGH]

Quote:

Originally posted by Fredoh way to damn close last minute saves. Neo picking everyon off of the 18 wheeler while its being crumbled in a head on collision in Reloaded. Hated that scene.

Actually, The Matrix deserves some credit. At least they went to the trouble of setting up a world that explained why those characters had the abilities they did. On the other hand, Bullet Time is now a monumental movie cliche.

 

[rezzy]

The Matrix only mimicked reality and was projected/hallucinated from 'real world' computers. I had no problems with the CGI (just a little of Reloaded's dialog). But yeah, a lot of close calls. The only thing cliched' would be the bullet-time, like Fred mentioned.

 

[TheFerret]

It sounds like you are having a difficult time enjoying movies. Why not watch some nature shows on PBS, or maybe broaden your knowledge-base and spend some time viewing some History or Discovery channels?

 

[FredProgGH]

Quote:

Originally posted by TheFerret It sounds like you are having a difficult time enjoying movies. Why not watch some nature shows on PBS, or maybe broaden your knowledge-base and spend some time viewing some History or Discovery channels?

Nah, I've enjoyed a lot of movies recently. But it's still fun to rag on the silly ones! (History and Discovery channels, along with A&E are the main things I miss about cable. Maybe I'll look into that "Voom" thing...)