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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Mesmerizing in its' mediocrity, X-ecutive producer Vin's stupefying Diesel engine 'Triple X' blows gobs of gas out of it's exhaust pipe - the worst mainstream, big budget bunch of ******** in many a moon.


Vinnie D. 'stars' as a sort of jerk-wad 'James Brawn' prattling around Prague for the fearless leader of a batch of euro-trash Boris-es. And, of course, there's a duplicitous noodnik Natasha who takes issue with (and then from) our lunkheaded Lothario (but, vhat about Moose and Squirrel?)


I'm sure Vincente will be fine once the sedatives wear off and he can start those acting classes - what an anesthetized, amateur-hour a-hole! And Samuel L. Jackson (remember when he was the coolest cat on the third rock in 'Pulp Fiction'?) is horribly burned by his script reading skills and choice of theatrical Agent in a staggering, sleep walking, paycheck slum-a-thon.


Director Rob Coen has three talents:


1) Making buildings, motorbikes and boats go kablooey.


2) Constructing the world's most ridiculously extravagant and theatrical discos.


3) Blanketing the bleachers with bimbos from 'Bitches 'R Us.


(I'd like to yank, tank, and spank the Academy.)


With the notable exceptions of set designer, location scout, and stunt coordinator, this is a movie of morons, by morons, and for morons.
 

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Wow...You sandblasted that one , I wasn't crazy about his flick..I think the highlight of it is when Diesel was hooked up with that woman in the room,

she had a nice body,I think she was a prostitute... it was down hill after that.
 

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I take exception with your last statement. I'd change it to "its a movie by morons, of morons, and for 7 year old boys". My 7 year old twins nag me into submission at least twice a week to see the horrendous thing.


Even they have their critical moments though. The last comment was "Daddy, is the XXX guy retarded?" with the other one adding "yeah its weird how retarded people can be cool sometimes".


Lately though they've taken to fastforwarding through any scene where something doesn't blow up. Maybe they've discovered the key to enjoying the film afterall.
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by hmurchison
It was no worse than Resident Evil. But it WAS totally formulaic to the core.
Oh pleeeeze, Resident Evil looks like Tolstoy next to xXx. Or at least Steven King.
 

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Don't you dare say something bad about King. The guy wrote Shawshank Redemption, he's forgiven for any past ofenses.
 

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xXx? You have a problem with that and not with DRIVEN??? While xXx IS NOT, by any stretch of the imagination, a serious film. (well, there WAS one good line...) I'd rather sit through triplex or (dare I say it?) The Transporter....(there..I said it) before I put myself through Driven...now THAT is a load of crap that only God knows how it got to the theaters.


No but seriously...xXx is bad bad bad...yes I agree...but Driven is evil bad...like pact-with-the-devil-to-get-it-made bad.
 

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if you want to see the crappiest movie of all time, rent The Muse with albert brooks and sharon stone. i can't believe i let my friends drag me to the theater to see that lamefest.
 

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HAHA! The Muse WAS a major stinker, and I'm usually a big Albert Brooks fan. Even taking into account all the insider jabs a Hollywood, it stunk to high heaven.


He just doesn't have the stature to pull off the Woody Allen "Come see my personal movie that nobody but me and a few of my Manhattan buddies could possibly relate to, just because I made it." thing, though it looks like he's trying to.
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by HTCrazy
I take exception with your last statement. I'd change it to "its a movie by morons, of morons, and for 7 year old boys". My 7 year old twins nag me into submission at least twice a week to see the horrendous thing.


Even they have their critical moments though. The last comment was "Daddy, is the XXX guy retarded?" with the other one adding "yeah its weird how retarded people can be cool sometimes".
This actually just further confirms nowknown's summation since a moron is a mental defective with a mental age of 8 to 12.


I personally found the review a bit too generous as I felt that the stunts too were poorly conceived and executed. However, the latest Bond offering diluted any distinction xXx may have held for stunts that exceed even comic book boundaries of believability (though the Bond versions were expectedly executed with more panache).

______

Glade
 

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:D


I guess I'll say something nice about xXx.

If you saw the movie and expected a "based on an Emil Zola book" then I would agree it's a realy crappy movie.


I watched this movie as a rollercoaster ride, nice action sequences, no they were not realistic but nice anyway, nice looking women...hehay ;), great soundtrack.

Story wise this movie suck pretty much but it was made with a big chunk of humor, at least that is how I see it.


And no, I'm not 8 ;)
 

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I don't know, one weekend, I watched (rented) XXX, Ballistic, Ecks and Sever, and Eye See You. Guess which one I liked "best". XXX, hands down. We already knew its mindless entertainment. Now, B, EandS, that was BAD!!
 

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"Ever get punched in the face for talking too much?" :D I enjoyed the hell out of xXx. It is a mindless action flick and I took it as such, thats why I enjoyed it.
 

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I think my brain started leaking from my ears! And this is what James Bond is fast becoming!!


Crap. Pure, unadulterated crap. I could hardly sit through it (I was being nice to my friend who rented it). Kind of like the new Star Wars stinkers. :D


Dan
 

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After contemplating this a little further (and renting xXx again....), it's not nearly as bad as "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead".
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by da_burl
I don't know, one weekend, I watched (rented) XXX, Ballistic, Ecks and Sever, and Eye See You. Guess which one I liked "best"
Yes, Ecks made X look good by comparison. That's about all I'll say for either.


Regards,


matt
 

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I saw this movie in the UK with a bunch of collegues and we were split 40-60 when it came to like or not like.

Those who took the movie for what it was, a mindless action flick thought it was pretty good and those who got hooked up on the "small" mistakes thought it was crap.


Like the gun that Vin get in the movie is just rediculous, only an agent (if that) would carry such unique weapon. But if you can throw such things away then it's quite fun movie to watch.

Also, no one even tried to make the movie a serious one and that is why I can overlook pretty big misstakes.


On the other hand Die Another Day, is just one piece of $hit movie ;)

Meaning I enjoyed xXx more then DAD because one was made with a "more serious" mindset.


That is just my opinion of course.
 

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I don't know, I don't get hooked on the small things, and I thought it was crap.

By comparison, I thought Transporter was so much better that I went out and bought it a couple days after renting it! AND I NEVER buy this over-the-top action crap anymore...must be Besson!
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by MannyE
After contemplating this a little further (and renting xXx again....), it's not nearly as bad as "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead".
????? You can't possibly be serious . Putting aside the fact that they are aimed at completely disjoint audiences and hence aren't comparable in any meaningful way, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern was anything but a bad movie. Okay, it dispensed with the surreal minimalism of the play, but IMHO did a good job of replacing it with a dense surrealism.


Geez, even if you didn't like it, part marks for trying should automatically grade it ahead of xXx.
 
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